The Weary Heart
by SalaciousNothings
Summary: Peeta Mellark returned home to District 12, broken and alone. The Capitol made him both victor and villian, while the rebellion abandoned and used him for their cause. With body and mind forever damaged, it is his heart and soul that remain untouched. Peeta struggles to find himself again, not knowing who to trust. Can true love heal the Boy with the Bread? Or is he lost forever.
1. Chapter 1 - Going Home

Chapter One - Going Home

The sun was beaming in the sky. I was walking in a green meadow far away from the bakery. It was both exciting and scary wandering into a place unknown to me. I had never wandered too far from town. District 12 was destroyed but the surrounding areas remained untouched by the bombs. The town was now being rebuilt. I understood why Katniss felt the need to seek safety alone in the woods. It was peaceful.

_'I can do this,'_ I mentally chided to myself for the apprehension I felt walking alone. A knife was sheathed in my belt just in case I met up with some wild life that still lived in the woods. I felt uneasy with the thought of killing again even if it was an animal that was out hunting for food. I was done with killing and death. I heard some twigs break to my left. I jumped startling myself then I laughed to ease my anxiety. I took a deep breath and continued on my trek. If Katniss can roam into the woods with bow in hand, I encouraged myself to do the same.

With a bag of cheese buns in my hand, I continued to walk further. I wanted to surprise her. Then, from the corner of my eye I see her, seated on a large rock at the edge of a meadow. She hadn't noticed me so I watched her for a moment.

'_Beautiful and deadly,'_ the words formed in my head and I shook it off just as fast. She was gazing into nothing particular in front of her. I called out to her. She turned to me with a scowl on her face. I waved my hand. Climbing off the rock she turned to me. I walked towards her when my left leg sank into the soft ground, reminding me of my prosthetic leg. One of the many souvenirs I had acquired from two Hunger Games and the Rebellion. As I approached Katniss, she lifted her arm and pointed her bow, an arrow ready to fire at me.

"Katniss, it's me, Peeta," my voice hitched. My eyes bulged as she continued to point her bow at me. Sweat dripped from my brow whether it was from the sun beating down on me or from confusion and fear. "What's wrong?" I asked her.

She didn't acknowledge me but pulled her arrow back. Her hands were steady. "Katniss?"

I felt my throat tighten and my eyes started to blur. _'Not real, not real,'_ I chanted in my head. I extended my hand with the bag in front of me, showing that I was unarmed. I looked into her gray eyes. They were blank and unreadable. Seconds later, I heard a thump and a crunching sound. I felt pressure building on my chest. I looked down realizing that an arrow and the brown bag was lodged in front of my shirt dripping with blood. I couldn't feels my legs as I fell onto my knees. _'Not real, not real,'_ I screamed in my head as if it was about to explode. The world turned dark.

I woke up gasping hard. I looked down my bare chest feeling my heart racing fast; my heartbeat drumming my in ears and my vision blurred. Sweat beaded my chest and face. I looked beside me to reach for Katniss and realized she wasn't there. I reminded myself that I was in train, alone in my compartment. I waited a few minutes for my heart and breathe to calm down. I pulled myself up into a sitting position. It is night. I turned to my left at a window and gazed up at the moon above me. _'I'm going home'_ the thought popped in my head. After months of taking test after test to clear the venom in my body, Dr. Aurelius declared me stable enough to be released from the capital hospital.

"I'm going home," I whispered, repeating the words as if I'm trying convince myself that it was real and not a dream. Then I remembered the dream that interrupted my sleep. As many thoughts crowded my head, there's only one word that stuck out. Home. The thought weighed heavy in my mind. The reality struck me like lightning. After months of anticipating this moment, I couldn't figure out what I was feeling. Not of joy or happiness. I never felt so alone in my entire life. "I am Peeta Mellark, I am a Victor and a survivor." I say to myself as the train lead me back to District 12.


	2. Chapter 2 - The Cost of Freedom

Chapter 2 – The Cost of Freedom

_**There will be several POVs from other characters. Katniss and Peeta's will be the main POV's. **_

Haymitch POV

Standing at a busy platform, the train was half an hour late or so I guessed. I turned to the clock at the train station and realized it was in need of repair. Its' face cracked, glass blurred from weather and years of wear and tear. I no longer wore a watch since I had a habit of losing it. I thought of investing a new watch, to commemorate the new era of free Panem. New watch, new times and new beginnings. Then I thought better of it. It wasn't as if I had places to go and people to see.

Bile rose from my throat as I hear the distinct sound of the New Panem Rail horn in the distance. I didn't mind waiting for the train since it would deliver my weekly libations of alcohol; my remedy to cure all ills and evils. This delivery, however, was not one what I looked forward to. I remembered the day I received a phone call two days earlier. I wondered for months when this would happen or if it would ever happen. I shouldn't have underestimated the Boy with the Bread for HE was coming home.

_Flashback, two days earlier – _

After slamming the phone on the table, I left the comfort of my home, semi sober and body aching from waking up on my kitchen floor. I felt sick as my eyes burned, my mouth dry and my head ready to explode. I looked down to make sure that I was at least dressed, complete with pants, shirt and shoes with no socks. I had walked out naked on night, waking up in my backyard not knowing how I got there or my state of undress. My walk to Katniss' home felt long though it was a mere 30 yards away. I needed to talk to her. Dr. Aurelius had been trying to contact her for weeks without success. He needed to let Katniss know that Peeta Mellark was coming back to District 12. He then, informed me that it was my responsibility to pass on the news since Katniss refused to pick up her phone. Yet again, the games are done, the rebellion is over and still I felt as if I have never been relieved from my mentor's mantle.

Katniss was released and sent home to District 12 eight months prior. The first few months she didn't eat, sleep or take care of herself. It took hours of yelling on my part, and patience and determination for Greasy Sae as she and I watched over her making sure she ate her meals, cleaned herself and left the shelter of her home. She became a recluse, never leaving her house. It took an incident with Greasy Sae's granddaughter, Tamryn to leave her home.

One day, Katniss heard a scream outside her door; peering out a window she watched as Tamryn paralyzed in fear, encounter a wild dog approaching her. His bloody teeth bared and eyes narrow, ready to pounce on her. With hunter's reflex, Katniss picked up her bow, ran out the door and shot the wild dog in the eye before it could reach the crying child. Mere seconds later, Katniss picked up Tamryn and brought her to her home. Tamryn was still crying in her arms as Greasy Sae arrived moments later, scared and angry when she realized that her six-year-old granddaughter had decided to visit Katniss on her own. It was that one incident that gave Katniss the courage and strength to visit her woods and town. However, the incident also caused Katniss' nightmares to worsen.

At night I would hear her screams and moans echoing in her home. The first night I tried to comfort her, she kicked and screamed at me to leave her alone. The last attempt for comfort, I came home with scratches on my arms and a black eye. She had apologized days later. After that night, she learned to lock her doors. Some days Greasy Sae would tell me how she is doing fine. Other times, she would find her hiding or sleeping in her closet, clutching a pillow and wrapped tight with a blanket around her. I didn't know how Katniss would react to the news. She had never spoken or asked for Peeta in the time she had returned home.

I knocked on her door, banging the wood a few seconds later. I knew she was home since she had left me a rabbit on my kitchen table early that morning. What I was going to do with it I don't know. As I was about to turn around and leave I heard the latch on her lock click. She opened her door leaving a crevice so I can only see her face.

"Hey, I need to talk to you."

"What do you want Haymitch? I don't have any alcohol here if that's what you looking for,'' she snickered. "Sheesh, take a bath before coming over here." She placed the back of her right hand in front of her nose.

"I wouldn't be here if you would just picked your phone. So before you slam the door on my face and make snide comments about my hygiene, I have news from the capitol I have to tell you."

She looked at me, confused then her eyes widen. She opened her door wider. "What is it?" Katniss asked, her hands clutched at her sides.

"Peeta is coming home." Without further ado, she slammed the door on my face. _'Well at least she didn't kill the messenger,'_ I snickered. I turned around, walked straight home and opened a new liquor bottle. Before taking a long swig, I toasted to myself. "The odds are never in our favor."

_Present time – _

Before I knew it the train stopped in front of me. A few people disembarked. I searched around to look for Peeta. Seconds later I see him. He no longer looked like the boy I knew. His hair was cropped too short; his face drawn and dark purplish bags under his dull eyes. He lost a lot of weight. Whatever muscle mass he had was gone. He looked lost and frightened. This boy I see was not Capitol Peeta, a killer who was tortured and hijacked. He was someone I didn't recognize. When his eyes caught mine, he looked down and away. I walked towards him. I didn't know whether I should shake his hand or hug him; he looked frail and uneasy. Whatever I imagined of this reunion, this was not what I expected.

"Hey, Peeta, how was you ride back?" I grimaced realizing how lame I was for asking.

He shrugged his shoulders, "Okay." His voice was soft, a whisper.

"You look beat. Why don't I walk you back to your house. Do you have any bags we should get?"

Peeta shook his head and adjusted the duffle bag on his shoulder. "This is it," he said and started to walk off.

The walk back to the Victor's Village was one of silence and awkwardness. I could tell that Peeta was struggling with his left leg. I wondered if the bag he was carrying was heavy. It didn't look full but flat and light. It wasn't as if he had lots of clothing options. Gray hospital gown was not the fashion these days. As soon as we reached the village his pace quickened. "You didn't have to meet me at the station, Haymitch. I would have made it on my own," Peeta said.

"It's no problem, kid. I wanted to see you," I returned. Peeta looked at me gauging to see if I was lying to him. Once we were inside the village I was surprised that Peeta walked straight to his door. "Hey, Peet." I walked next to him his hand on the door knob. "Look I know you just got back so…"

Peeta looked back at me. His eyes were blank. In all the times I known him, I have never seen that look in his eyes. Dead, lifeless. It reminded me of myself when I returned from the games.

"Listen, it's been a while since you've seen her. It's best that you let her get used to you being back before you see her," I stumbled with my words. If I know Peeta, he would be at her doorstep if I weren't accompanying him back to his house. "She missed you. We all have, but try to give it a couple of days before…"

Before I could finish, Peeta turned around and slammed the door. Sighing to myself, I left his porch and walked to my home. Glancing at Katniss' house, I noticed one of the curtains moved.

I am too old to be babysitting Katniss and Peeta. But what else can I do. I was riddled with guilt for I had lied and manipulated them since we've met. In the games, it became my job to help them survive but in life I was ill equipped to advise them how to live afterwards. I am the worst example and role model. For many years I drank myself to oblivion for the guilt I felt not being able to save my tributes. The odds to save one were never in my favor, but it was a miracle to have saved them both. But in reality, it was both Katniss and Peeta who had saved themselves. My mentoring was only for the games but outside the arena, I was hopeless. How do I ask them to fight, to live and move on if could not do the same. I had hoped that once the war was over they find each other again. They fought to stay alive together, they sought to die for each other but in the end they lost each other.

To save Panem I sacrificed their lives, their families' lives, their hopes and dreams. Was it worth it? Panem's liberty is owed to two young kids from District 12; the girl with the bow and the boy with the bread. They are free and alive, but at what cost. It would have been better if they had not survived. I grasped another bottle off my counter. We are free but we are alone; shattered and broken. This is the cost of freedom, blood on our hands and souls shattered. The war for freedom is over but it is the battle of day to day living that had just begun.


	3. Chapter 3 - Alone and Abandoned

Chapter 3 – Alone and Abandoned

_**AN: I want to thank those people who have reviewed, favored or is following my story. I hope that you will hang on because it will be a bumpy and angsty ride. Thanks again. Will update every chance I get. Next update will be Peeta. So without much further ado…**_

**Katniss POV**

I've been sitting by my window watching the sun appear against the horizon. It's been hours since I've been up awakened by a nightmare. They're all the same – Finnick is killed by mutts in the Capitol while Prim is burned alive from the bombs. I miss Prim so much that there I days that I am incapable of getting out of bed. I had fought to keep her alive from the games, but in the end it was all for naught. I had lost her anyway. She was all I had since my mother gave up on us at an early age. As for my mother she again has abandoned me and never returned to District 12. I am alone. I even cried when I realized that Buttercup didn't survive the bombings. Prim's dumb, stupid cat.

Days after Coin's assassination and Prim's death, I just wanted to die. I went through the first stage of my grief with denial and isolation. I saw no one but Haymitch, Dr. Aurelius and his hospital staff. I was so drugged up that I never knew where I was and what had happened after the rebellion. I didn't care anymore. My beloved sister was dead, Peeta was forever lost and my best friend, Gale became a mass murderer.

Hours turned to days, days to weeks that I didn't know what month it was when Dr. Aurelius handed me to Haymitch as we boarded the train back to District 12. The months after my return are a blur. It took an incident with Greasy Sae's granddaughter, Tamryn to bring me back to reality. I had saved her life but soon after my hands shook as I realized that I had a bow in my hand after killing the wild dog. It was instinctual when I saw her in danger. I still have not touched the bow since then. When I first returned home, I lapsed into nightmarish sleep and always woke up exhausted and not being able to go back to sleep. Now, my dreams more are vivid, in full color that they forever etched into my mind as if I am watching the arena games with Prim, Finnick and Peeta as stars of a show. There has never been one night when I didn't have a nightmare.

My dreams of Prim also consisted of her walking into a wall of fire. I stood yelling for her to stop as the fire burned her alive. She screamed at me to save her. After that dream, my grief turned to anger. Why was Prim there at the Capitol? I had made efforts to ensure her safety and she willingly went out to the field of fire. Why couldn't she just stay safe away from the destruction and in harms way. My anger was illogical but it was how I coped.

There is also one dream that visits me several times during my slumber. It haunts me long after I have awakened. It is Peeta being tortured over and over. He's calling out to me to save him. In my dreams, I saved him but it is too late. He is disfigured and mutilated. He screams at me to kill him and end his life that is forever trapped with memories of his torture. I stared out across the street at Peeta's bedroom. His window closed and curtains shut. I know for a fact that he likes to sleep with his window open, letting fresh air into his room. I thought about him so often since his arrival a month ago. He has never approached me. I don't know if I am relieved or disappointed. Then I reminded myself that he is not the Peeta I knew before the Games.

We didn't share many private moments together but I do recall little things about him that had endeared him to me. He always double knotted his shoelace, his favorite color is sunset orange and he loved his mother even though she had beaten him for most of his life. His golden locks would curl when it reached a certain length. His eyes so blue that they reminded me of cornflowers that grew in the meadows of District 12. But the boy I see now is thin and gaunt, his strong arms that once comforted me after a nightmare are rail thin. His voice so soft and soothing that it would reach me in the middle of a bad dream, is silent. I miss the Boy with the Bread. I wish that I had never taken his loving nature for granted.

It was that one thing that set him different from any boy I've ever met. Peeta was loving, gentle and patient. It is no wonder that he wasn't bitter and distrustful from the treatment he had received from his mother. Gale was all fire and anger. His desperation for survival and freedom tainted his views on anything good. He hated the merchants and he hated things all Capitol. Hate kept Gale alive, while Peeta fought for love. Gale would not have nurtured a healthy friendship with Finnick had he survived. An angry fire will always burn inside him. I don't think about him often. It hurts thinking about him. He was my friend, the boy that was my hunting companion. We had saved each other over the years. I had counted on him to watch my back. Those days are over.

I hear a crash across the street at Peeta's house. Days after his return I would sometimes hear things breaking. I do not have the courage to seek him out. It's not that I am afraid of him; I'm just not ready to see him. Haymitch and Thom are the only people that have seen or talked to him. Haymitch informed me that Peeta was stable enough to return home. The venom is still in his system. His episodes are triggered if Peeta's mind is compromised by too much stress. I know that Peeta will never be the same, but then am I the same as well. The games had changed us but it was the rebellion that broke us. We lost so much. I am no longer Katniss Everdeen, the girl who had survived the Hunger Games. I am the former Mockingjay, the girl on fire that ignited a nation to fight against the Capitol. I fought for freedom from the Capitol and losing Prim and Peeta was my reward.

I don't know how long I stayed staring out of my window when I hear my front door open. Greasy Sae and Tamryn always arrive early to make the first meal of the day. It was a routine that I accepted with much gratitude. I don't know what I would have done without her and Haymitch's intervention. I dragged myself away from the window and proceeded to head down the stairs when I hear Greasy Sae and Tamryn talking.

"Grandma, can I go to see Peeta now and give him my drawing?" Tamryn said. I stopped at the top of the stairs. I wasn't aware that they were interacting with Peeta.

"Tammy, Peeta might not be awake yet. Why don't you wait until after breakfast?" Greasy Sae returned. "Besides, you saw him yesterday. We don't want to bother him too much. He has things to do."

"I know, but he told me if I wanted to, I can help him in his garden. He's planting my favorite flowers today. He planting daisies," Tamryn gushed. "I love daisies. They're my favorite. Like the blues, oh and yellow ones too, I don't like the white ones. I hope he plant pinks ones, I love pink."

"Okay, sweetie, but after breakfast. We need to take care of Katniss first," Greasy Sae reminded her. "Remember, don't talk about Peeta when you see Katniss. It's makes her very sad when we talk about him. We don't want to make Katniss sad, okay?"

"Okay, Grandma." Tamryn agreed.

I stood paralyzed for a moment. Was I oblivious to my surroundings that I didn't even realize that Greasy Saw was also taking care of Peeta? Haymitch started to get worried when he didn't leave his house for a week. It was not like Peeta to stay away from any social interaction. We had a brief encounter after his arrival. I caught him walking out his house one morning as I was on my way to see Haymitch. He glanced up at me for a second, then turned his face away and walked towards town. Other times, I would catch him clearing the underbrush and weeds that grew wild outside his home. For a week he worked around his house digging and planting annuals. On delivery days he would disappear very early in the morning, coming back with a cart full of green plants and shrubbery. He worked all day shoveling, planting and watering his plants. Last week, his house was repainted a soft yellow offsetting the gray color that dominated the other Victor's homes. He kept busy while I hid in the shadows staring at him through my curtains like a creepy stalker. It is time like this that I see the Peeta I remembered, the Boy with the Bread.

After recovering from the shock, I walked down the stairs and was greeted by Tamryn who launched her little body into mine, hugging my legs. "Good morning, Katniss. You want to see the picture I drew? Do you have a favorite flower? Tamryn started.

"Tammy girl, why don't you let Katniss have breakfast first?" Greasy Sae apologized. She looked at her granddaughter and said, "Remember what I said." Her brow lifted. Tamryn shrugged her shoulders. "Sorry, Grandma."

"It's okay. Let me get a cup of tea, Tamryn. Then, I'll look at your picture and tell what my favorite flower is." I returned. I tried to smile back at the little girl.

Hours later, Greasy Sae and Tamryn leave my home. I am exhausted from the lack of sleep and Tamryn's unwavering energy. I truly adore the child but cannot keep up with her exuberant personality. She reminded of me Delly. I miss Delly and wonder how she is doing. I lost all contact with everyone I knew back in District 13. Any communication I received since returning, I ignored. Seeing any of them at this time, would only remind me of Prim and Peeta. The memories are just too painful. I decided to visit Haymitch. He made a habit of visiting often. He would arrive half sober but concerned, only staying for a few minutes checking up on me. It's been a few days since his last visit. I raced to his door and burst in. I'm surprised to find the place clean and organized. I had expected his house to be in disarray and him passed out on the floor somewhere.

"Haymitch," I called out. I am met with silence. I go straight to the kitchen. On a counter is a vase filled with dandelions. Haymitch is nowhere in sight. The kitchen is immaculate. I hear footsteps at the front of the house. Haymitch walked in surprised by my presence in his home.

"Hello, sweetheart. What are you doing here?" he snickered. He dressed in a pair of dark brown pants and light blue button down shirt, clean and pressed. His face shaved and hair combed. I was impressed by his transformation. When did all these changes happen? I was about to make a comment about his physical improvements when he grabbed a bottle of liquor and proceeded to take a long swig in front of me.

"I was going to ask what happened to you, you look great but…" I smirked as he wiped his mouth with his sleeve.

"Don't start with me, I've had a long day already," he interrupted as he sat down on his armchair and belched.

"What do you mean? It's only eleven in the morning. What have you been doing to get you started with that?" I pointed at the bottle in his hand.

He looked at me, his blue eyes sad and drawn. He exhaled, "I just dropped Peeta at the train station." In an instant, I clutched my chest, my breath labored as I struggled to breathe. I felt a sense of déjà vu. He continued, "He's gone back to the Capitol."


	4. Chapter 4 - The Odds Are Never In My Fav

Chapter 4 – The Odds We're Never In My Favor

I woke up face down with drool pooling from my mouth. A month ago, the moment I closed the door on Haymitch I dropped my bag on the floor and sat down on my sofa. I had only meant to close my eyes for a second since the walk from the train station exhausted me. I was out of shape and tired from the lack of sleep. Hours later, I woke up in the dark, forgetting where I was and how I got there. After adjusting my eyes, I reached over to turn on a lamp. Miscalculating the distance, I brushed the lamp with my hand that it crashed on the floor. The sound startled me. Looking around my home, it didn't seem real. I had expected to wake up in my hospital room at the Capitol, staring at the walls I had painted over the months during my treatments.

Now weeks later, I found myself in the same position waking up in my living room. I had not been able to sleep on my bed since my arrival. I think back to the first few days after my return. I didn't leave the house and I saw no one. Days later, Haymitch visited me along with Greasy Sae.

_**Flashback, three weeks prior –**_

I felt someone prodding my shoulder, waking me up from my sleep. Panicking, I grabbed the hand and twisted. "Shit, Peeta, it's me Haymitch. Let go!" he yelled. After a few seconds my mind cleared and I released his hand. Haymitch walked over to the opposite side of the sofa and sat down. I then realized that someone else was standing in the middle of my living room.

"Hey, kid. You remember Greasy Sae." He said nodding at her when he saw me staring. She stood a few feet away. She carried two brown bags in her arms. I blinked my eyes for a few seconds making sure she was there in front of me. I sometimes woke up during the middle of my slumber seeing Finnick and Prim hovering above me. Dr. Aurelius told me that they were delusions from the guilt I felt from surviving the war. Survivor's guilt was what he called it. Finnick was an ally who became my friend while Prim represented the life I once had back in District 12. A time before the reaping when I was whole, not physically disfigured and mentally battered from my experience in the last two years.

I nodded not feeling my tongue as I tried to form words from my mouth. "Good, because you will be getting daily visits from her to help you get food in you. I haven't seen you leave the house in days. I'm worried about you."

"I'm fine, Haymitch." I whined as I placed my right arm over my eyes. I didn't appreciate the intrusion and just wanted to be left alone.

"No, you're not. I haven't seen leave the house. What's going in here?" he pointed. I cleared the furniture, coffee table placed to one side of the room, leaving the large sofa in the middle. The rugs rolled up, the fixtures and paintings wrapped. "What's with the new décor?" I shrugged my shoulders not giving him an answer. "Uh, you're not thinking of leaving, are you?" his voice hitched. I continued to ignore him as my vision started to blur. "Hey, Peet, answer me."

I don't know how much time passed when I realize that Greasy Saw had left the room and Haymitch hovered above me. "You okay, kid? Do you need me to call a doctor?" he asked.

"Sorry, Haymitch, I felt queasy for a moment," I answered.

"Well, that's understandable since you don't have any food or water in the house. What have you been living on since you got back?" Greasy Sae chimed in as she walked back into the room. Her face was etched with concern and sadness.

"Thom came by. He brought a case of those protein health drinks after he saw the condition of my icebox. It's all I can handle. I can't stomach any solids since returning from the hospital," I said as nausea rose from my belly.

"That's not enough. Why don't I fix you a bowl of soup, it'll go easy on a empty stomach," Greasy Sae added. I shook my head, the thought of food and the smell made my stomach lurch. "You should eat, Peeta. You can't live on protein drinks alone," she recounted. I didn't realize how close she approached me when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I flinched but stayed still. The gentle touch was foreign to me. I closed my eyes and gritted my teeth from the kind gesture. She left the room heading towards my kitchen.

"Well, Peeta while she's making the soup why don't you head upstairs and get a shower or bath. I'm going to make a couple of calls and see if I can get Thom to get some real food in your house," Haymitch mentioned.

I glared at him sideways not appreciating him taking over my life. Mentoring during the games was one thing but invading my personal space and time, I resented. "Your job's done, Haymitch. The rebellion is over, just stop pretending you care about me," I said.

He looked shocked and hurt. "Go take care of Katniss, she probably needs you more than I do." I was so tired of the secrets and lies. I was tired of being a pawn for the Capitol and the Rebellion. I needed to regain control of my life. Being with Haymitch reminded me of how easy I was fooled into playing into everyone's games.

"I'm just not your former Mentor, I'm your friend, at least I like to think I am," he alleged.

"Friends don't keep secrets from you, nor do they lie to you or abandon you. And that's all you've done since we've met. So no, you're not my friend, you're just a fellow victor," I returned. It was a bitter pill to swallow but it was the truth.

He stood up, speechless. "Listen, I understand now that Katniss was your main concern. She was the Mockingjay after all. No one else mattered. I was just another soldier in your rebellion. A chess piece in your games. The war is over and you've won. You've done your part," I added.

"Whatever you thought of me, I've tried my best at the time. But now, I'll be here, no matter what," Haymitch voiced in soft whisper. "I failed you before, I won't let it happen again."

"Don't make promises you don't intend to keep. It just makes a bigger liar out of you," I said as I stood up and left the room.

_**Present time –**_

That was three weeks ago. Haymitch visited every other day to make sure I ate my meals and cleaned myself up. His visits are awkward and uncomfortable. Greasy Sae never failed to arrive every morning to make breakfast and never leaving until after lunch. She would arrive right after her visit with Katniss since she was an earlier riser.

After one day of just sitting around in my house doing nothing, I decided to find an activity that would relieve my mind from the nightmares. I called Thom and asked him to pick up a few garden supplies. My home needed improvements after months of neglect. As I waited for those supplies to arrive, I decided to pack anything that was related to the Capitol, which decorated my entire home. That meant everything from end tables, bedroom sets, and any stick of furniture brought in from the Capitol. Johanna mailed me a catalog of furniture built in her district. New furniture created not by the Capitol was purchased and delivered within a few weeks. The old furniture I donated to Benj, a former District Seven citizen who decided to set up a furniture store in the newly built District 12. It was a fresh start for him since he had lost his sons during the rebellion. His wife long dead from an illness. Thom hired a few guys to repaint the exterior of my home since I didn't have the stomach to pick up a brush. I needed to remove all reminders and souvenirs from the games that meant furniture, fixtures, paintings, rugs and any paintings I did before the Quarter Quell.

The one item I couldn't pack was the Capitol's viewing monitor. All Victor homes had one installed permanently in the viewing room. The sound and picture would turn on when the Capitol had an announcement or during the games. For hours I couldn't figure out how to remove the monstrosity from the room. I had to climb up my roof and disconnect the wireless feed on the satellite dish.

The next step was landscaping around my home. It took a week of digging, planting, and watering the new plants I ordered from the new nursery in town. I plan to start an herbal garden as soon as the weather permits for certain plants and herbs seeds to be available. I sketched out a fire pit I would install. My mind raced with all the designing and plans to redecorate and exorcise my home from my old life. I wanted a new start; I needed it.

A couple of days later, Greasy Sae asked if I was interested in rebuilding the bakery. I closed down and couldn't eat for days. I try not to think about the bakery that was destroyed from the bombing. I didn't have the courage to visit the ruins of my family business and home. I imagined my family, their bodies buried underneath the rubble. With these thoughts, I started to have nightmare about them, calling for me to save them. I couldn't risk having an episode so I avoided any conversation or idea of talking about its reconstruction. The thought of baking again made me sick to my stomach.

For a month my mind was busy, I didn't sleep much and ate very little. I saw very few people with the exception of Greasy Sae, her granddaughter, Tamryn, Haymitch and Thom. I didn't need the company nor did I want it. I talked to Annie and Johanna during the week. Sometimes just to say hi. They were my lifeline outside of District 12.

In all this time, I tried not to think of HER. She would creep into my thoughts late at night when I would suffer bouts of insomnia. I would see glimpses of her when she would visit Haymitch or when she walked to town. I tested myself as she walked past my home peeping through my window. I was relieved that I didn't have an episode that the sight of her would trigger. But even though I don't see her, she haunted me. I wake up from a nightmare of her murdering my family. I dreamt of her in an orange chiffon dress, dancing and smiling at me with love in her eyes. I don't which was worse the former or the latter.

After three weeks at District 12, I was scheduled to see Dr. Aurelius but my visit was postponed and rescheduled a week later. It seems that my treatment medication from District 13 was out of stock. I laughed at the hypocrisy for District 13's main manufacturing was weaponry. It's ironic that the same district that fueled the war was same district trying to heal it. Then, I discovered that the manufacturing of my medication was produced for me alone. It was created and designed by Dr. Aurelius himself.

After I shook myself from my melancholy, I stripped off my sweats, put on a clean shirt, socks, shoes and headed out to my kitchen. The morning air is crisp and cold. It is close to 8 and Greasy Sae would be on her way to my home. Mornings with her and granddaughter comforted me, there are no words or awkward conversation; only speaking when necessary. Two weeks after her daily visits she brought Tamryn with her. She was a little shy at first but warmed up to me.

Days later, she caught me sketching, plotting out the areas where I would plant my herbal garden. Curious she asked me to draw her plants I planned on sowing. She laughed in glee when she saw my drawings, asked me if I could teach her to draw. Soon, her visits consisted of drawing lessons. She was attentive, eager and if nurtured with time, she could be a decent artist. One day she painted a bright yellow sun on a flat wooden board telling me to install it so that the sun would always be shining on my garden. I almost cried at the sheer innocence of her request. Tamryn will never know how close she was to experiencing Reaping Day. With moments like this, I realized that the war against the Capitol was necessary and long overdue. I just wished the cost didn't weigh so heavily.

I can hear laughter coming out of Katniss' home. Tamryn's giggle echoed in the air. It is a joyful sound. It's been so long since I heard the sound of laughter I that almost didn't recognize it.

My thoughts are interrupted with Tamryn appearing at my kitchen door. "Good morning Peeta." I smiled as she ran towards me and clutched my legs. I stiffened when I felt her little arms wrapped my prosthetic leg. I looked down at her, a wide smile on her face, her black hair pleated in a bow, her eyes crinkled. I remembered Katniss held that kind of smile and innocence at that young age. A time before the death of her father that changed her life.

"Good morning, Tamryn, how's my girl today?" I smiled back at her. She took my hand, giggling back at me.

Greasy Sae sauntered to the both of us. "Peeta, Tamryn wanted to ask you something," she added then nodded to her granddaughter.

"Grandma said you made the best cakes and cookies in all of Panem," she said. "Can you bake me a cake for my birthday?"

My throat constricted. I looked at Greasy Sae and Tamryn. How could I tell her that I didn't bake anymore. Just the thought made my stomach turn. I looked at Tamryn's eager, young face. I thought of another little girl with dark hair in a braid, her steel eyes shining. A little girl, like Tamryn who visited my parent's bakery years ago. She wore a blue plaid dress as she walked in with her father clutching her little hand. A bright yellow bow on her braid. She requested a cake with flowers for her eighth birthday. She giggled as she was perched on her father's lap overlooking a drawing pad that my father was sketching on. Her cake, chocolate with white frosting, decorated with primroses and Katniss flowers. I pulled myself away from the memory and questioned whether it was real.

I turned to Tamryn, "How old is my girl going to be?" I asked as I picked her up and placed her on my lap.

"Seven," she announced.

"Seven," I mocked back. "oh no, you're getting big and all the boys in school are going to want you to be their girlfriend."

She crinkled her nose, "Eww, boys are icky. They're smelly and dirty all the time," she shrieked shaking her head.

I tried not to laugh since her two front teeth were missing. She was adorable. After breakfast, she and I drew her birthday cake. Before leaving she added, "Will you come to my birthday party, Peeta?"

I panicked at the mere thought of being in a room full of people, let alone a crowd of kids and their parents. "Please, I want you to come. You're my bestest friend," she said.

I hugged her and whispered, "Okay, sweetie. Just for you I'll come." I don't see Greasy Sae who tried to hide the tears in her eyes. Tamryn threw her small arms around me, hugging me tight. At that moment, I reached inside myself to find the courage to do one thing I couldn't bring myself to do. I promised her I would bake her a cake and I was determined to not let me down. Tamryn was the one thing that anchored me away from a world, dark and oppressive. I will not fail her as I have failed others in my life.

Days later, I walked towards town on a mission to find supplies needed for Tamryn's cake. My plan was to go to town, pick up all the ingredients then get back before Greasy Sae and Tamryn arrived for breakfast. I was serious when I mentioned the state of my kitchen and icebox. When I left before the Quarter Quell, I made sure that nothing perishable was in my house. I donated all the clothing I owned to the orphanage of District 12 and even wrote out a will leaving everything and the money I earned from my Victor's salary to my family. I knew I was not coming back. Little did I realize how wrong I was. I reached the newly reconstruction town of District 12 with great apprehension. Everywhere I went people greeted me with a handshake or a touch on the shoulder. I tried not to grimace whenever anyone touched me. There was a taste of renewal and freedom in the air. It was a brand new day in Panem, a new era especially for District 12.

I bought all the ingredients at the new stores. Since trade was now legal, products from District 1 to 13 was available from vegetables to meat and canned goods. There was even a fine jewelry store from District 1 with small trinkets made of gold, silver and diamonds. It was a luxury not available or affordable pre-Rebellion. I was about to make my escape when a voice startled me.

"Peeta, hold up." Thom greeted me. He embraced me with big strong arms, the grocery bags in between us. "Hey, it's really good to see you. I was wondering if you were ever going to visit the new town."

"Sorry, Thom. I've just been busy." I apologized. I didn't want to tell him that I couldn't see or be around people.

"So what do you think? It's amazing, isn't it?" he gestured to the surrounding buildings and shops around town. I nodded in agreement. "We have all kinds of stores now. Look," he pointed at a shop. It was a pet store with little animals from birds to snakes and feed. "Crazy, isn't it. If wanted a bird, I could go and get one myself in the woods," he laughed. I couldn't feel his jubilation. "So, I know you just got back, but have you thought of whether or not you'll rebuild your family's bakery.

I panicked at the mere suggestion and hoped it didn't show on my face. "We cleared the area if you wanted to, you know uhm...people around have been asking if you're ready to rebuild and start baking again. The permits for construction are available to you when you're ready. Everyone misses your cakes and pastries," he rambled. "The new town isn't complete without the Mellark Bakery."

"I…uh…haven't thought…if…, I'm sorry, Thom, but I have to get back home," I started and turned around walking in a fast pace. My head started to spin, I swear I can hear a buzzing sound around me. I don't remember how I got home but the next thing I knew

I'm seated in my kitchen, hands shaking as I looked over the drawing of Tamryn's cake. It was simple yet beautiful. I concentrated on the drawing as I felt an episode appearing. She requested her cake to be decorated with her favorite flowers; daisies in multiple colors of blue, yellow, pink and purple. She insisted of no white because as she quoted white is 'quite boring.' On top of the cake is a butterfly sitting on the field of flowers. I have two weeks before I have to make the cake for her birthday party. I hope by then I am able to accomplish that. So in order to steel myself from that endeavor I decided to try baking a simple white bread. I've been staring at all the ingredients placed on top of my kitchen table. The task is daunting. I realized, if I cannot make myself bake something as simple bread, how can I bake a 3 tier layered birthday cake for Tamryn.

I cannot stop my hands from shaking, I tried to focus my eyes. I felt an onset of an episode forming. What triggered it, I don't remember.

"Peeta, are you okay?" Haymitch started. I didn't realize that he entered my home. "I've been calling you for the last 5 minutes. You've been staring at your table for a while now." I see him but his words were muffled in my ears. I grabbed the end of table with both hands. The next thing I knew the world turned black.

I woke up in a fetal position. My throat ached like I've been screaming for hours. My eyes felt puffy from crying. I can hear voices around me, but cannot distinguish the owners. What finally breaks me from my episode is hearing Tamryn crying, calling out to me.

"Peeta, wake up. Peeta. I want you to see the drawing I made for you," she cried, her tiny voice was heartbreaking. "Please wake up." I don't understand why she is here in my home while I'm in a middle of my episode, but her voice sounded like angels calling out to me. Pulling me away from my own personal hell.

"Tamryn," I sobbed as I extended my hand to her. She yanked herself from her grandmother's arms and clutched her arms around me as I pulled myself off the floor in a sitting position. She continued to cry in my arms with her drawing still clutched in her hand.

"Hey, wipe your pretty eyes. No more crying, okay? I want to see the picture you made for me." My voice cracked as I swiped tears from her cheeks. I looked down to see her drawing of us in a field of flowers holding hands. Our names are large and printed in bold letters. She wrote words underneath us that shook me to my core. Words I have not heard for a long time. It's what I felt around Prim as she took care of me in District 13. It's what I saw whenever Finn was with Annie. They were words that didn't exist in my life.

"I love you, Peeta," Tamryn declared. I looked at her in awe and in shame. I couldn't bring myself to repeat the words back to her so I just broke down and cried.


	5. Chapter 5 - Baker, Victor, Traitor, Hero

Chapter 5 – Baker, Victor, Traitor, Hero

_**AN: Thanks again for those who are following my story. Also, for those who have reviewed, I am grateful and astounded with your kind words and comments. Hope I don't disappoint with the new chapters ahead. The next update will be after Thanksgiving weekend. By the way, I wish everyone a safe and Happy Thanksgiving tomorrow. **_

**Dr. Aurelius POV – **

I placed my mobile receiver on my desk. I sighed and looked out my window. My office, which is located on the tenth floor near the center of the Capitol has a perfect view of what was once the Hunger Games stadium. Now in its place is an open field of beautiful green grass and diamond-dusted walkways leading to a large marble fountain. It is dedicated in memory for the victims of 75 Hunger Games. Its' beautiful architecture is eclipsed by the solemn reminder of Panem's dark history. A history of murder and atrocities against 1728 girls and boys used for entertainment. Pulling away from my somber thoughts, I think back to the call that started my day. Like clockwork, Haymitch Abernathy never fails to call me everyday at the same time. Our conversation consisted of him prying information from me about Peeta's progress and asking when he'll be coming back to District 12.

Speaking of history, Peeta Mellark, the one half of the Victors of the 74th Hunger Games, is a resident/patient in my medical facility. I had taken great strides in ensuring his safety soon after the media got a hold of his arrival days before. The media circuit went into a frenzy when they had discovered his presence in the Capitol. It is a circus outside the hospital premises. I hired extra security since we received death threats on his behalf. You see, many consider him a traitor, the Victor who sided with the Capitol. Little do they realize how much the 18-year-old teenager suffered at their Capitol's hands. What torture and abuse he endured after the Quarter Quell. Haymitch and I discussed in great length how to redeem Peeta's reputation for he was much of a prisoner than a spoiled Victor advocating peace between the Districts and the Capitol. In my estimation, Peeta is physically and mentally to weak endure the media barrage that would ensue once he goes out in public of his experience during his incarceration. He might lash out in anger and suffer a hijacking episode. His scars and injuries are more psychological than physical.

During the war, I have treated many injuries. Nothing prepared me for the atrocities that Peeta, Johanna Mason and Annie Cresta endured. I shuttered to think of it. So, I took it upon myself to treat the three Victors after the war. I felt it as my duty as a doctor to heal them. I wanted them to know that they are not the casualties of war, to be abandoned, thrown aside and forgotten of their sacrifice. If it took all my professional life, I will cure Peeta and help him regain the life he deserved.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Flashback, four days earlier – <strong>_

After postponing Peeta's treatment for a more than a week, I got a frantic call from Haymitch telling me that Peeta suffered an episode earlier that morning. As he calmed down, he proceeded to tell me that Peeta's episode was something he's never seen before. This episode he reacted with physical violence by upturning his kitchen table and chairs, grabbing pots and pans, whatever within his reach and hurled them to the walls and floor. Then, he stopped and knelt on the ground, tucked his hands over his head and rocked in place. Not once did he react to Haymitch's presence. He observed him for an hour, rocking in place until he dropped on the floor and folded into a fetal position. He proceeded to tell me about Tamryn's involvement. I scolded Haymitch for permitting to let a neighbor's child witness Peeta's breakdown. He insured me that she was safe and it was she who had pulled Peeta out of his episode. After Haymitch finished telling me of the incident, I told him to take him straight to the train station. After my call with Haymitch, I reached over to a communication console and called Unit Coordinator, Abby Seaver.

"Nurse Seaver, can you please prepare room 407. Mr. Mellark is arriving this evening." I announced.

"Mr. Mellark?" she questioned. "Isn't he scheduled to arrive in three days?"

"Yes, but I need to move his appointment ahead of schedule. I'm sorry it's an emergency. Make sure that all medical staff and security are in place by eight this evening." I apologized.

"It's alright, Dr. Aurelius, his room is ready. In fact, I try to find any excuse to visit it during my break," Nurse Seaver admitted. Abby Seaver is the head nurse at the facility. I wouldn't know what I'd do without her. "You need to know that I'm not the only one who visits his room in a regular bases if you know what I mean."

I laughed to myself at her admission and thought back to the early days of his recovery. During Peeta's stay, he was granted permission to draw and paint as a part of his healing process. I recalled the look of terror in his eyes when I made the suggestion. My idea was rejected with a shake of his head and a resounding 'No.' So for months his art supplies which were kept in his room were ignored. I gave up hope on seeing him pick up a paintbrush or a pencil. Then, one morning one of the nursing staff ran into my office, frazzled yet frantic telling me to come to Peeta's room. I ran into his room in sheer panic as thoughts entered my mind. Did he hurt someone? Did he hurt himself with the sharp drawing pencils I supplied? If Peeta is dead, it was all on me.

There's a crowd of people outside his room, hovering at the doorway. I pushed my way in and gasped in surprise. On one wall, he had painted a beautiful and lush, green meadow filled with flowers and wild life; the sun shining bright near the ceiling. It was nothing I have ever seen before. It takes years to master a painting that real and so…I couldn't find the words to describe it. My vocabulary consisted of medical terminology and I was a loss for words. I could only say that it was a masterpiece. It mush have taken him all night to complete the mural. I looked over to see Peeta sleeping in the most restful slumber. He wasn't twitching or appear agitated; his face was peaceful. His eyelids moved about that I was certain he was having a pleasant dream. I reached over to check his vitals, his heartbeat normal, his skin dry and his breathing calm. I laughed to myself when I see his hair tousled and paint smeared all over him from his hair to his face and arms; a long green streak across his gaunt cheeks and specks of yellow on his neck. His clothes splattered with multiple shades of paint, some still wet. He looked like a little boy whose only psychological issue was the fact that he had a mother who emotionally abandoned him. I gazed back at the wall in awe. How can he paint something so magnificent with a mind that was tortured and abused? When he was released, I kept the room in the same condition leaving the mural untouched.

"He's suffered an episode this morning and he's not in good shape. I may have to keep him longer than scheduled," I returned. I pulled out a touch pad and scrolled down to Peeta's file. I was hoping that my new treatment for Peeta would arrive soon. But District 13 was having problems with its design. I rubbed a hand on my forehead. The timing was unfortunate. "He's going to stay for a while. Haymitch said this episode is new, different. I need to know what caused it."

"All right, Dr. Aurelius. Everyone will be ready by the time he arrives. By the way, I have new nurses arriving today. I would like them to meet you before the end of the day, if that's all right," she announced.

"That's fine, the meet and greet will have to be scheduled later on this evening. I need to attend to Peeta first. Please make sure the new staff stays away from the fourth floor. I want complete privacy for Peeta while he's staying here." I was about to end the call when I added, "And can you tell Nurse Cartwright to come to my office. Please be discreet." I hung up and made another call, this time to District 13. "Hello this is Dr. Aurelius, may I speak to Mr. Beetee Latier."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Present time – <strong>_

I clutched my writing pad as I walked over to Peeta's room. As a rule, any sessions I have with a patient was done in my office. However, with Peeta I made an exception. It was an excuse to be in his room with his painting. An indulgence I'm never doing to admit to anyone. I walked towards his room to see two male nurses outside his opened door, a security measure I had to take in case Peeta reacted in a hostile manner. I walked in and see Peeta sitting on a chair, staring at his painting with a blank look in his face. I walked over to a chair next to him and sat down.

"How are you going this afternoon, Peeta?" I asked. He shook his shoulder without even a glance in my direction. I noticed his food tray half eaten. I sighed, "Peeta if you expect to go home, you need to eat more and I need your full participation in these sessions." I stopped to gauge his reaction. "Once you finish your treatment for the month, I'll need to clear you're sessions in order to release you. So you need to talk to me. " Hoping that would be an incentive to have him start a conversation.

"I'm not going back," he whispered.

"You're not? Why do you say that?" I questioned. I placed my writing pad down on my lap. He stared at the wall in complete silence. I waited and waited. I signaled one of the nurses and whispered in his ear. Then, he left the room. "Tell me why you don't want to go back home?"

After a few seconds, Peeta responded. "I walk around in constant fear of having an episode. I don't want to hurt anyone," he admitted. "I have nothing to go back to. Nothing but an empty house, no family or friends, no one but my nightmares as my companion."

"You know that's not true. How about Haymitch?" I asked. "What about Tamryn?" He grimaced. "Haymitch tells me that she's in District 12 waiting for you, waiting for you to return to make her birthday cake."

"She lived without me before, she can continue to do so," he stated.

"Peeta, you don't realize the affect you have on people," I reminded.

"It's a waste," he confessed. He closed his eyes trying to not burst into tears.

"What is a waste?" I asked. He remained quiet. "Tell me Peeta?" Nurse Cartwright walked into the room.

When I asked Delly Cartwright to come to my a office a few days ago, I had instructed her to take one the hospital's hovercraft and meet Peeta at District 11's train station. She was a friend to Peeta pre-Games and I knew he wouldn't react negatively as she escorted him back to the Capitol. I couldn't afford to have him linger in the train by himself for two days. I needed him to be in the hospital as soon as possible. Sending Delly, his childhood friend guaranteed a safe passage. When Peeta arrived, he dropped on the mattress and slept for two days. Two days after his return, I needed to get him back into a routine for his sessions and treatments.

"If you can't tell me, can you tell Delly?" I asked as I stood up and let Delly sit next to him. He opened in his blue crystal eyes flooded with tears.

"Hello, baker boy," she flashed a smile as she took his left hand. He smiled back.

"Delly," he whispered. I know using Delly in his sessions is unorthodox and unprofessional, but I was desperate. Peeta was falling into a deep depression. A depression with his current state of mind would destroy him. I would lose the Peeta I was acquainted with during the games. I watched him as he charmed a nation with his good looks and witty words. The tribute whose eyes twinkled during his interviews with Cesar Flickerman; the charming boy from District 12 whom all of the Capitol adored. The same Peeta that would flash his brilliant smile that many young girls melted in admiration.

"It's good to see you up and about, Peet," she said as she took him in her arms.

"I was tired from the trip," he quipped as they released each other from their embrace. I took a few steps back to observe them.

"For two day, really! Peeta, you're such a lazy boy," she joked.

"I've been busy back at District 12," Peeta returned in anger.

"I've heard," Delly admitted. Her brow rose as she continued. "Yeah, Johanna told me. Why have you not returned my calls?"

"I'm sorry, but being back in District 12….it's been really hard and...," he rambled.

"It's okay, I understand but from now on pick up the phone. I miss talking to you. I want to know what you've been up to. I had to get Johanna to tell me everything. I'm your friend too, baker boy, long before the games."

"I will from now on. I promise," he said. "Wait a second, you keep in contact with Johanna?" he asked in surprise.

"I was there in the hospital during her sessions and treatments. She's now my friend too, you know. Even when she threatens me with her axe most of the time," she cackled.

"Yeah, isn't she the best?" Peeta gushed.

"You have weird friends, Peet," she returned.

"You mean like you?" he joked.

"Hey, I'm also family, Peet. Don't forget that," she warned. In a matter of seconds, Peeta's demeanor changed. His smile disappeared and his shoulders slumped. Delly recognized the change in him. "So you want to tell me, what you were talking about with Dr. Aurelius?"

"Nothing, Delly?" he pouted. His interaction with Delly brought out a Peeta I've never seen before. Young, scared, and vulnerable.

"Nuh uh, I know you Peet. Tell me what you were thinking," she demanded.

"My life," he said in a whisper. "I wasted my life."

Delly looked up at me. I nodded at her to continue. "How, baker boy?"

"Everything I've done since I've been reaped was all for nothing. I was ready to die in the first games, but I survived. In the Quarter Quell, I knew that was it for me," he said. "I was prepared to die. When I was at the Capitol all I wanted to do was die. And now I'm here, I've survived the rebellion and Panem is finally free. And do you know what I got out of it? Nothing. Absolutely nothing, I've lost everything," he confessed. His arms wrapped around him tight as he looked down on the floor.

"You've alive, Peeta. That's says something. You're a miracle." she cried.

"And what have I gained, Delly? Tell me? What did I survive for?" he bawled, silent tears streaming from his eyes. "I'll tell you. A body with a missing limb, scars covering my skin from head to toe. I have nightmares that never go away. My mind tortured and hijacked. I don't know what is real and what is not. But most of all, I don't know who I am anymore, what I've become. I'm a monster, Delly." He sobbed.

"You're not a monster, Peeta. I know who you are," Delly responded while Peeta shrugged her off. "You are Peeta Mellark, the boy who loved working at his family's bakery. You make the best cheese buns in all of Panem. You're favorite color is sunset orange. You don't drink coffee; you drink tea with no sugar. You are the gentlest and sweetest boy I have ever known. You're the same gentle boy who beat up Ray Upton for making fun of me and pushing me down in the playground when we were six. The same boy who loved and protected me like his own family. The same Peeta that snuck cookies to me when I was sick with chicken pox."

"I'm not him anymore, Dells. They changed him. The Capitol changed him," he cried. "I swore that they would never do that to me and they did, I came back as a killer."

"You're wrong," she argued. "You're still you. You may have a missing leg, and scars all over your body, but that doesn't make you for who you are," she claimed. "This is you, Peet," she poked the middle of his chest. "The Capitol didn't take this away from you. The baker boy inside that still exists. He's there, battered and abused but he's still there," He clutched her hand against his chest. "You just need to find him again."

"What if I can't?" he admitted. "You don't know how hard it is for me to hold on. I'm just existing, Delly. I thought being tortured in the Capitol was the worse thing that happened to me, but coming back to District 12 alone with no family, to be forgotten and abandoned by people I trusted. I'm rudderless with no land in sight and with no sense of direction. No sun or stars to guide me."

Delly smiled. "What are you smiling about?" Peeta asked as he stood up in front of her.

"Even in your worse moments of darkness and hopelessness, the Peeta I know still exists," she voiced.

"How can you say that?" he whined.

"Because no one can be as eloquent as you in a middle of your despair. He's still there, Peet. You just have to fight for him," she uttered.

"I don't want to fight, I don't have it in me to fight anymore. When I do, someone gets hurt," he confessed as he walked back to his bed and sat down.

"Then fight to live for the people who loves you," she expressed as she wrapped an arm around his shoulder. "Fight for a little girl back in District 12 who's been waiting for you to come back home."

"Tamryn," Peeta whispered as he wiped tears from his eyes.

"Yeah, don't you dare disappoint her. She's been waiting for you to come back," she declared. "Go back for her. Okay?"

"Okay, I'll try," Peeta acquiesced. "Thanks Delly. Thank you for being here and being my friend."

"I'm not just your friend, Peet. I'm family and you better remember that," she warned as she elbowed him on the ribs. "And as family, I get to kick your ass for talking nonsense and making me worry. Please Peeta, please fight for yourself. For me. You're all I have left too." I leave the room feeling that some progress has occurred. It's not a lot, but it enough for now.

A few days later, Nurse Seaver entered my office carrying a brown paper bag. She wore plain black blouse and pants. A mobile receiver attached to her gray belt. Her dark hair pulled in a single braid blended with her uniform. Her green eyes stared straight into mine. "Dr. Aurelius, I need a moment of your time, if I may," she said.

"Abby, of course. You know my office is open anytime," I directed. "Please have a seat."

"There was a breach in security on Mr. Mellark's floor," she announced as she sat down. "Last night, the security cameras caught an intruder roaming in the hallway."

"Is he okay? What happened? Did security find him?" I rambled.

"No, he was able to slip out before they could catch him," she said. "Security found

this." She pulled a single white rose from the bag. Her silver security ID band glistened from her pale skin. "It was lying in front of Mr. Mellark's door."

I took the rose from her. It was pristine white and fresh. "Did Peeta see this?" I asked.

"No, security was able to remove it from the premises before Mr. Mellark could find it," she said in relief.

"We've had a few death threats before, but this is new," I said. "This is personal. A real live threat to his life." I placed the rose on my desk.

"A Capitol sympathizer. One of Snow's people, it seems. It is his calling card," she pointed the obvious.

"It can really be anyone. The rebels saw him as a traitor as well as the Capitol," I added.

"What are you going to do? Are you going to mention this to Mr. Mellark in his next session?"

"I have to," I admitted.

"Do you think that is wise? Won't seeing the rose set back his recovery? What if he gets another episode?" she questioned.

"Ordinarily, I would agree with you, but I can't keep this from him," I told. Seaver looked back at me, a worried look etched her face. "One of his biggest issues are secrets and lies. His trust for people is non existent. He's been lied to again and again for months. And keeping secrets is the biggest issue. I want Peeta to trust me so I can't keep this from him."

"Poor child, for one so young he's endured so much pain and suffering," she sighed. I agreed.

That afternoon, I approached Peeta's room when I heard a crash and yelling coming from inside his room. "You're a jerk, Peeta Mellark," Delly screamed at him. Peeta laughed in response to her outburst. Relieved, I entered the room.

Delly stood with her arms crossed and a scowl on her face while Peeta was seated on his bed with a big smile. Next to him, I noticed an image of a little girl on his drawing pad. "What's going on in here? Nurse Cartwright, are you scheduled to be in this floor?" I demanded trying to keep a serious look on my face.

She looked back at me like she been caught stealing cookies from a bakery. "I'm sorry, Dr. Aurelius. I was on my break and thought I could visit Peeta for a few minutes," she confessed.

"Visitations are restricted on this floor, Cartwright. You know the rules," I added.

"Don't get mad at her, Dr. A. I asked her to visit me," Peeta said.

"Then what is all this ruckus about?" I pointed at the empty bedpan lying on the floor.

"Peeta…he asked…," she stumbled.

"It's my fault. I asked her something personal and she didn't it take too kindly," he admitted.

"Oh, and what is it about, that a bedpan became a casualty to your temper tantrum?" I asked eyeing Delly. She remained unresponsive, blushing as her cheeks turned a bright red.

"Well, Delly has a new boyfriend and I wanted to know if…" he started.

"Peeta!" Delly interrupted. "It's private and none of your business. You're just trying to embarrass me."

"We always tell each other everything, don't we Dells?" he smirked.

Defiant, she placed both her hands on her hips, "Okay, if that's true then I'll ask the same about Katniss," she snorted.

And just like that Peeta closed down. He stood up from his bed and placed his hands over his ears. He opened his mouth but nothing came out.

"Peeta?" Delly asked as she approached him.

"You need to leave, Nurse Cartwright. Break's over," I ordered. I could see Delly's reluctance to leave Peeta in his current state. "Now!" She leaves the room with one last glance towards him.

I approached Peeta and sat down on his bed. "Peeta? What are you feeling?" I asked.

"My chest hurts and…," he started. I waited for him to finish. "and…a buzzing sound in my head." He continued while he pressed his hands over his ears as he paced the room.

"Like a tracker jacker?" I questioned.

He shook his head. "No, like an electrical current," he corrected.

"I see," I added. Thoughts raced through my mind as I remembered one of the tortures he endured. His tormentors used a staff with an open electrical current on one end to break him while they projected unflattering images of Katniss on screen. "You've been here for days now. You need to tell me what really caused your episode back in District 12."

I don't know if he can hear me but I continued, "You've been doing so well, making changes in your home and meeting new people. You even walked into town. You told me you've seen Katniss upon numerous occasions without wanting to hurt her. So tell me, what's happened to change all that? What's different this time?"

He looked into my eyes. "It's been building up for some time. I didn't realize it until it was too late," Peeta said. "The lack of sleep only compounded what was building inside me."

I waited as Peeta took his time to reveal what I had already knew.

"The bakery, making Tamryn's cake. Me, walking into town. The buzzing sound that came from an electrical unit near Thom and I as we were talking," he recounted. "All of that triggered an episode."

I wanted to discuss the one topic that I knew would put him on edge. "Peeta, you've avoided any discussion about Katniss. We need to talk about her. You live in District 12, how do expect to coexist and not see or talk to her for the rest of your life?"

"It hurts, Dr. Aurelius," he lamented. "It physically hurts to see her too ling. I want to rip my skin off me. Yank my eyes out. I feel as though a thousand tracker jackers is covering my skin."

"Maybe you should consider relocating into another district. All you're triggers are in District 12," I suggested.

"12 is my home, my family's home," he said. Home and family, the two things that he desired but did not have anymore.

"Do you still have fantasies of killing her. Like back in District 13?" I asked. He shook his head. He said it hurts when he's around her, not that he wanted to kill her. It was a huge improvement. He no longer had the urge to harm her but himself. This was a new development to his episode, self-affliction. This was good news and it was bad because now he was bound to hurt himself in the worse way. Since the torture his self worth was battered. This new issue had to be addressed before his return to District 12.

Days pass as Peeta continued with his sessions with me. His new treatment from District 13 finally arrived, three weeks late. Peeta's recovery is slow but encouraging. I had developed a treatment in which Peeta was flooded with images of Katniss with sounds associated to his torture. It was shock therapy. It was horrible at first as Peeta tore at his hair, his eyes glazed as he continued to yell in silence. In an instant I stopped the session but after his episode, Peeta demanded to continue. He suggested first to bring up an image of Katniss then in a low volume introduce the buzzing sound, raising the volume after each session. After the first attempt, I learned my lesson and had him restrained. In the next session, he just twisted and fought with his restraints until he couldn't endure the pain in his mind. This went on for days until the buzzing sound no longer affected him. I am ashamed to admit that these treatments are akin to his torture. But it was the only solution that comes to mind in order for Peeta to recover from his hijacking. He endured it, like a prisoner of war, defiant with a strong sense of survival. I then introduced Katniss' singing, the song she sang during the first game in tribute to Rue. I got an idea and called Haymitch for a favor. He called back later and agreed to my suggestion. The change was instant in Peeta. He no longer twitched or reacted at the mention of her name.

One day as Peeta and Delly were having lunch at level 4's dining area, the security alarm went off on his floor. I was in my office on the top floor at the time. Concerned for Peeta's welfare, I skipped the elevator and ran six flights of stairs. I was told that one of the new nurses tried to sneak into the fourth floor hoping to see her favorite Victor, Peeta Mellark. Nurse Seaver had her training terminated and she was escorted out of the premises without any further explanation. Ensured that he was okay, I realized that I had not informed Peeta of the threat to his life. After lunch I sat him down in my office and told him. I even showed him the white rose left on his door. He surprised me and said, "I'm a Victor who participated in two Hunger Games, I've been tortured and abused by the Capitol; I've survived the games and the rebellion, Dr. Aurelius. I've come to terms with my hijacking. So no one is going to take the life I fought hard to keep." I told Peeta I was proud of him but reminded him he still had to watch his back.

Days later Peeta had completed his treatments. Since I had also cleared his psyche evaluation, he was declared fit to return to District 12 but with condition; that he check in with me on a weekly basis. I watched as he packed his belonging. He didn't have much but a few drawing pads, charcoal pencils and a few articles of clothing. He still refused to pick up a paintbrush so he left those behind in his room. I will send those supplies to him when hee's ready. With the new clothes that Delly bought him, he looked fit in body but not in spirit. He is still underweight for his height. He wore a black hoodie on top of his black long sleeve button down shirt, dark green pants, and dark brown hiking boots. A dark green cap that hid his blond hair finished his ensemble. He refused the hovercraft as transport, claiming that he wanted to enjoy the train ride home with Delly and make a stop at District 7.

On the day of their departure I drove Delly and Peeta to the train station. I had purchased two tickets to leave at midnight hoping there will be no large crowds around him. Delly decided to return home since her training was completed. She was excited to see the new changes while Peeta looked sick from worry. We talked in great length of his concerns during the drive to the station and I assured him that he was ready. When their train arrived, I gave Delly last minute instructions while Peeta stood at the platform agitated, staring into the night sky. Then, she walked over to him, took his left hand and boarded the train. I waved goodbye and headed back to the hospital. It was a new beginning for the both of them. I was glad and overjoyed with Peeta's progress that I didn't see the intruder from the hospital board the same train with Peeta and Delly; his destination - District 12.


	6. Chapter 6 - Hunter, Victor, Mockingjay,

Chapter 6 – Hunter, Victor, Mockingjay, Survivor

_**AN: For those who have continued to follow this story, my thanks as always. I hope you continue to hold on since I am building a new world. Things will progress from this point with the characters necessary for the next chapters. Don't fret this is an Everlark story. Their road towards each other will be long and difficult but worth it.**_

**Haymitach POV – **

I woke up feeling ice cold and wet as water dripped from my head down to my shoulders. "Holy, shit, Katniss. What the hell?" I screamed as I stood up from my easy chair. I opened my mouth to continue a barrage of swear words when I'm surprised to see Sae standing beside me with an empty glass pitcher in her hand. I snorted and winced from the effects of my hangover, "You women are all alike. Did Katniss put you up to this?"

"Watch your language, Haymitch. I haven't seen Katniss in two days, you know that," she returned. Through my haze, I realized that Tamryn is standing a few feet away clutching a brown stuffed dog in her hands, eyes wide in fear.

"Sorry, you just…you didn't have to do that," I apologized as pulled back my dripping hair from my face.

"I've been trying to wake you up for the last ten minutes. This…," she raised her hand still clutching the pitcher, "was my last resort," she snickered. "Besides, you agreed that after three days if she's not out of her room, we were going to break down her door if necessary."

"I know. I know," I replied as I tried to get my bearing. "I just can't believe how she reacted to my news of Peeta going back to the Capitol. I didn't think she'd resort to her old habits," I admitted as I sat down on my chair.

"I see you did the same," she pointed to a couple of liquor bottles on my coffee table.

"Well, after 25 years some habits are hard to break," I admitted. I swore to myself when think back to the promise I made to Peeta. A promise that I had already broken.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Flashback, three days earlier – <strong>_

Peeta was quiet and unresponsive as we both waited at the train station. I sighed in relief as I look around. The platform wasn't too crowded. I watched as spectators whispered to each other and pointed at Peeta, recognizing him. Some stared back in anger while others looked in curiosity. I moved closer to him making sure that no one would approach him. Peeta looked small and lost with his head down and his eyes staring at the floor.

After his incident I made a quick call to Dr. Aurelius who arranged to have Peeta picked up via hovercraft at District 11 after a short train ride from 12. Why isn't he being picked up in 12, you ask? It is by President Paylor's mandate that no hovercraft was to enter District 12 airspace. A few months back when Katniss returned to 12, she saw and heard the ships flying overhead. She shrieked in terror and screamed that District 12 was being bombed again. Her delusions and nightmares lasted for two weeks that she had to be sedated. So I worry that he had to travel alone for 4 hours before he reached 11 in his state of mind. I planned on accompanying him but he refused my company. "I don't need a sitter," he argued.

I tried not to stare at Peeta whose eyes were red and puffy. He didn't look good. He was still too thin and frail even with the help of Sae's home cooked meals. My thoughts were interrupted when I realized that Peeta was talking to me.

"Haymitch, I need for you to do me a favor," he said.

"Anything, Peeta, just name it," I stated. I was surprised that he needed to ask. I would do anything for this kid. I then realize his trust in me is still weary.

"Can you tell Tamryn, I'm sorry that I won't be able to make her birthday cake and attend her party," he said.

"She'll understand, kid," I mentioned.

"And…," he sighed. "Can you watch over Katniss…just in case I don't come back. You're all she has left." Shocked, even with state of mind, he was worried about her. When Dr. Aurelius announced that he was coming back, I was sure he would be back to mooning and falling all over Katniss. I was prepared to give my _'give Katniss some space, don't overwhelm her, she's still fragile. Just be patient,_' speech. I was wrong. So very wrong. He never approached her, didn't acknowledge her presence. He kept to himself. I was devastated when I realized that Peeta, pre-Quarter Quell was gone. I felt a sliver of hope that the Peeta I knew was still there.

"You're coming back, Peeta," I stated. "We need you; we all need you."

"No one needs me," he whispered so low that I almost didn't catch his words. It reminded of the time he and Katniss shared together at the beach. Their most intimate moment caught on camera. Before I could argue, the train arrived. I directed Peeta to a private seating compartment and instructed the attendant that he was not to be disturbed under any circumstance until he reached District 11. I looked back at Peeta one last time. He was seated, looking out through a window as if he was memorizing his surroundings.

"Peeta," I called out to him. He looked at me sad and resigned. "Stay alive."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Present time - <strong>_

'_I'm too old for this.'_ I chanted in my head. _'Those two kids are going to be the death of me.'_ I reiterated as I walked up the stairs in Katniss' home. Sae and Tamryn are waiting downstairs in the kitchen preparing breakfast. I had a back up plan incase my first one didn't pan out. I've been a mentor for twenty-five years. One learned to plan ahead when going into battle. Banging on her bedroom door, I yelled out, "Open the door, Katniss. I'm not going to put up with this shit again."

I am met with silence as I wondered if she had left the house. However, I hear a creak on the wooden floor beyond the door.

"Leave me alone, Haymitch," Katniss ordered. "Don't you have a date with Ms. Autumn Solstice?" I smirked at her joke. She's depressed but responsive, a sign that she's not too far gone to insult me. You see, Autumn Solstice is the most expensive and coveted whiskey in Panem. Only the wealthy and privileged had access to the rare whiskey. It was only sold in the Capitol and District 1. My acquaintance with the whiskey was one of the perks of being a victor. Katniss took one small sip one night. She spat it out and commented that it tasted like old wet wood that sat out on the sun to long growing fungus on it. I quipped back that it was an acquired taste.

"Get your ass out of bed and open this door now," I demanded. My request was ignored again. I pressed my ear on the wood and waited. Okay, so I asked nicely. So it's time to implement plan B.

"Fine stay there, I guess you don't want to hear my news about Peeta." I turned around and as I reached the top of the stairs, she opened her door. I eyed her for a second. She wore a ratty grey dressing gown; her hair needed grooming as she stood with short woolen socks on her feet. She was a mess.

"Wait, Haymitch. What about Peeta?" she asked. Her eyes were wide and hopeful.

"Nuh, uh, you take a shower and get dressed. I'll see you downstairs for breakfast. Then, we'll talk." I demanded.

"Haymitch!" she whined. I turned and ran down the stairs, making my escape.

* * *

><p><strong>Katniss POV – <strong>

After a quick shower, I dressed as fast as I could to meet Haymitch for breakfast. I felt dizzy and ached all over from laying in bed all day and all night without leaving my bedroom. I'll admit that I didn't take the news well when he told me that Peeta had left for the Capitol. It brought back painful memories of when he was abducted during the Quarter Quell. I felt that I had lost him again.

I entered my kitchen and was surprised to see Sae and Tamryn joining us for breakfast. I shouldn't have been surprised since it is part of a routine we had developed since my return to District 12. _'Would it be too rude of me to ask them to leave so I can talk to Haymitch alone. Effie would be appalled by my bad manners._' I chuckled.

"Good morning," I announced. Tamryn ran into me with a tight hug around my legs.

"Katniss, I missed you," she said.

"I missed you too. Sorry I haven't been around lately. I've been sick. I haven't been feeling well," I added.

"Are you sick too? Are you going far away like Peeta," she panicked as she looked at her grandmother. "Grandma, Katniss is going away too. She's going to miss my birthday party, just like Peeta."

"Hey, Tamryn. I'm not going anywhere. I'm staying right here," I stated as I placed her on my lap.

It's not usual for Haymitch to join us so the atmosphere was subdued and awkward. It's obvious that Peeta's absence affected Tamryn. She questioned all of us whether we knew when he was coming back. There were no words to assure her of Peeta's return.

An hour later, I tried not to rush Sae and Tamryn out the door. My nerves are shot. I couldn't taste the food Sae prepared for us. I'm so distracted that I burned my tongue after not checking on the temperature of my tea before taking a sip. I am a mess. I returned to find Haymitch standing in the viewing room adjusting the volume to the monitor. He had turned it on. "What are you doing?" I demanded. Why was he in my viewing room watching the monitor when he knew I wanted to talk about Peeta. I shoved him away and turned the monitor off.

"Before you go off on me, I first need to tell you that Peeta is fine. He's in good hands so try not to worry about him," he assured me as he sat down on the sofa and gestured for me to join him. "

"He's back in the Capitol, Haymitch. Do you know what those words did to me?" I bawled. My knees buckled as I sat down.

"I'm sorry, Katniss, I didn't meant to say it like that," he apologized.

"Just tell me if he's okay," I questioned. "When is he coming back?"

"He's only been there for two days and from what Aurelius tells me, he's been sleeping the whole time," he voiced. '_Sleeping for two days,' _I thought. The same two days that I had not slept a wink worrying about him. I sighed in relief. "As for coming back, it's too soon to say."

"But he is coming back?" I wondered.

"Of course, he's coming back. This is his home. In the meantime, he has his treatments and sessions to complete. And with this last episode, who knows how long Aurelius will keep him." he said.

"I know I ran out when you told me he was gone, can you tell me what happened?" I inquired. He proceeded to tell me in full detail of the incident including Tamryn's involvement. I felt a bit resentful of Tamryn's ability to put Peeta at ease. After the reaping, despite my denials and horrible treatment of Peeta, we protected each other. It was he and I against the Capitol. I was lost in my thoughts.

"Katniss, there is something else you need to know. Something that I kept from you," he added.

"What do you need to tell me?" I asked as I tried to contain my anxiety and fears.

"I don't know if you've noticed that there are no media or news reporters in District 12," he mentioned. "President Paylor and the New Security Bureau had imposed a no media access to District 12. Imprisonment and a large fine are enforced if the law is broken."

"I need to thank Paylor for that," I commented. After my return from the war, I wondered why there was no press coverage stalking me at District 12.

"The thing is…the deal with her I made on your behalf," he stated. "She agreed that no media will ever set foot on 12 under one condition.

My eyes narrowed as I gritted my teeth. I tensed for a few minutes. "What was the condition?" I asked.

"Once a year, you and Peeta are to appear together at the Capitol," he stated.

"No way in hell am I going back there," I yelled as I stood up and paced the floor. He watched me for a few minutes. "What did Peeta say about this agreement?"

"Uh…he doesn't know," he said putting his head down in shame. Another secret he had kept from us. I knew he did it in our best interest, but the act stings of betrayal. I sat down, placed my elbows on my knees and covered my hands over my head.

"There something else," he added. "Anytime you or Peeta leave 12, you will be escorted with a security detail." I knew that was coming. "The New Security Bureau headed by Gale Hawthorne." I haven't thought of Gale in weeks. His involvement with Prim's death is still fresh in my mind. It's not anger that I feel towards him, but sadness. I've forgiven him but I could never forget. I'll never forget the boy who had helped me keep Prim safe. The same boy, who designed the bomb that killed her and many others. My best friend killed my sister.

"I'm sorry for all this, I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I just didn't know how or when to tell you," he said. I looked at Haymitch and realized that the war aged him considerably. New lines aged his face. The war changed all of us in so many ways. I couldn't find in myself to be angry with him. I was tired of being angry all the time.

"I know you did it to protect us, me and Peeta. Just like you always have since our reaping," I said. He looked back at me in relief. "Just next time, talk to us first. This is our lives you are playing with. We're not children anymore, we haven't been since the first games. It's insulting when you don't consult us."

He nodded his head. "There is so much I need to say. I owe you and Peeta a long and overdue apology. Not for what is happening now, but for everything that has transpired since the reaping." He gulped as he tried to find the words he wanted to say.

"When we first met, I didn't see you as two young kids who were scared, angry and alone. I just saw two more casualties from the games. But when you both won, and became the hope and figureheads to the rebellion, I only saw a tactical advantage and an opportunity to a cause that had started long before you were born. I'm so sorry, Katniss. You've given up so much, lost so much. Panem owes their freedom to both you and Peeta."

I am shocked and speechless from Haymitch's admission. "It's done and over with, Haymitch. There is nothing to forgive. I have accepted my part and role in the rebellion. I just wish that so many people didn't suffer and lost so much, especially District 12. Panem is free from the Capitol. That was the goal. There will be no more reapings, and not a single person controlling of how we live our lives. I have so many regrets. I don't want to live in guilt and anger. I want to live and more on." Though the words flowed with ease from my mouth, I knew that it was easier said than done. I had an epiphany, "I want to do more than survive."

"So we watch over each other, as we have done. We protect each other," he stated. I smiled as he sounded so much like Peeta. "Anyway, I also wanted to tell you that I'll be getting daily updates of Peeta's progress while he's in the hospital." I felt a wave of relief.

"And the first thing you should know is that Peeta's been getting death threats at the Capitol." I gasped at the news. I stood up to leave the room. "Hey, where are you going?" He grabbed my arm.

"I have to go to the Capitol. Someone has to protect him. He's alone there with no one to watch his back. We always watched each others' back," I stated.

"Sweetheart, did you forget that you are forbidden to leave 12? Are you going to defy Paylor's order?" he said. I closed my eyes in frustration. "Listen, he's safe where he is. Dr. Aurelius have doubled security. He's going to be all right. Besides, he's not alone." I stiffened at his statement. Who? I mouthed. He answered, "Delly Cartwright, his friend from school is working at the hospital. So he isn't completely alone." I cringed, Delly is his friend from childhood, but I couldn't stop the feeling of jealousy overtake me. Where is this feeling of jealousy and possessiveness coming from? I don't know and I snapped myself out of it. I didn't realize that Delly became a nurse after the war. At least I should be relieved that he is not alone.

A week later, I woke up from a dream, gasping for breath as I felt my heart beating loud in my ears. It was unlike any dream I ever had before. I blushed as I realized that I actually had a sex dream…with Peeta…and myself. The dream confused me since I only learned the mechanics of sex in our sex education course in school. Take off clothes, lots of kissing, groping, insert body part, pain and blood and you're done. It seemed not at all that exciting if you ask me. I shook my mind from my dream.

I walked into my kitchen to see Sae and Tamryn with breakfast prepared. I sat down and greeted them both as I realized that Tamryn is not usual exuberant self. She was quiet and sad. "Are you looking forward to your party, Tamryn? It's in two days, isn't it?" I asked.

"I'm not having a party," she answered.

I looked at Sae. "Oh, what happened?" I wondered.

"My classmates are mean and dumb. I hate them," she whined.

"Tamryn," Sae scolded. "Don't talk like that. They're your friends."

"No, there not," she said.

I looked for an explanation from Sae. "Yesterday at recess she told her classmates that her friend, Peeta was going to bake her birthday cake for her party. One of the boys said that he's a traitor. She didn't know what it meant so she asked her teacher. By lunch time, the kids were making fun of her," she explained. "She came home crying and upset and said that she didn't want a party anymore.

"I don't want a party. Peeta's my friend. He's not a traitor," she reiterated, her eyes big brimmed with tears. I have heard the rumors from town. I was horrified and appalled that anyone would think of him as a traitor.

"It's okay, Tamryn. This is what we're going to do. We'll have a small party with me, your grandma and Haymitch on your birthday. What do you think?" I asked.

"What about Peeta? Can he come too?" she asked.

"You know he's still in the hospital." I said.

"I don't want a party. He's promised me that he was coming and was going to make my cake," she said in defiance.

Days passed, on her birthday she arrived with Sae, sullen and withdrawn. We ate breakfast in silence when my front door opened with a bang. Haymitch walked in with four wrapped birthday presents. Their boxes differed in size. I stood up and helped Haymitch with his load as his arms struggled to hold them. Tamryn eyes lit the room. We followed him as walked into the living room and dropped the gifts on a coffee table.

"So I heard that someone is having a birthday today," Haymitch announced. Tamryn looked up at him with a big smile on her face as he placed the gifts in front of her.

"Wait, hold on a second," I said as I rushed out the room and came back with a wrapped gift. "Happy Birthday, Tamryn." She reached over and grabbed my present first. She squealed in laughter as she opened her gift and pulled a fuchsia colored dress fit for a princess. It was a dark pink dress with a skirt made of organza with a round neckline and scoop sleeves. A pink satin sash and back bow on the waistline.

"Thank you, Katniss. It's most beautiful dress I've even seen," she gushed as she hugged me close and then, turned to her grandmother.

"Can I wear this to school today? Please grandma?" she begged. Sae nodded her head.

"Oh, open mine next. This would go well with the dress," Haymitch added. He winced as she screamed again when sees a beautiful white peacoat lined with white fur on the collar. He accepted her hug awkwardly. Sae smiled to herself and looked pleased.

I wondered where the other three gifts came from, but before I could ask, Haymitch opened a card and gives it to Tamryn. She read, "_'Tamryn, Happy Birthday, princess. Sorry I'm couldn't be there with you on your special day. I hope you like your gifts. Love, Peeta_.' She placed the card down on the table and I looked at it, recognizing Peeta's beautiful penmanship. "Grandma, Peeta didn't forget, he didn't forget my birthday," she bawled. She opened the largest gift first, tearing into the wrapping paper with her little hands. Inside was a set of miniature garden tools with a spade, rake, watering pot and dark brown rubber garden boots. Inside the box was a note. _'Please take care of my garden while I am away.'_

"He remembered Grandma. Peeta remembered." Sae proceeded to tell us that Peeta promised her a set of tools of her very own so they would tend his garden together.

She opened up another gift, which consisted of a paint set and collapsible easel designed for a child. Inside included another note, _'To my favorite artist.'_ His last gift was a framed colored charcoal drawing of her, sitting in middle of a field of daisies. "It's me grandma. Peeta drawed a picture of me," she shrieked.

"He drew a picture of you, Tamryn," she corrected.

"That's what I said," she argued as a frown appeared on her brow. "Can I take this to school? I want my classmates to see the picture Peeta drew for me?" she asked. Her smile was infectious.

"Okay, but just be careful with it," she agreed. "When you're in class give it to your teacher for safe keeping." I knew what she was doing. The kids still taunted her and a gift from Peeta was open to careless manhandling from her classmate. Children can be cruel and I know that for a fact. I had known bullying and mean spirited behavior from seam and merchant kids alike. With the crises averted, Tamryn didn't once mention her birthday party.

Suddenly, a ringing interrupted our little gathering. Haymitch reached into his pants pocket and answered a mobile receiver. I didn't realize he owned one until now. Hmmm. I reminded myself later to ask him about it. "Hello, your timing is perfect. Give me a second," he instructed as he pressed a button and placed it on the table. "Tamryn, I have another surprise, say _'hi'_ to Peeta."

I gasped in surprise as I placed a hand in front of my mouth. "Happy Birthday, Tamryn," he announced.

"Peeta!" she screamed so loud I swore that the town had heard it. Haymitch jumped in his seat, Sae smiled so wide in surprise and I tried not to burst into tears.

"How's my girl doing on her birthday? Did you like all your presents?" he asked. His voice wavered a bit. He sounded tired.

"I love them all. When are you coming back? I missed you. I miss you a lot. You are coming back, right?" she asked as she grabbed the receiver.

"I missed you too. I don't know when I'll be back," he said. "But. I'm coming back."

"You promise?" she asked.

"I promise. Besides, don't I owe you a birthday cake?" he teased. I sighed to myself with joy and relief. I knew that once Peeta made a promise, he never broke it.

"Yes, with lots of daisies and a butterfly on top of the cake," she giggled. I heard a soft female voice in the background. "It's time Peeta."

"Okay, I need to hang up now. I just wanted to wish you a Happy Birthday. You take care of yourself and your grandma for me," he said.

"I will, thank you for my presents. I love you Peeta," she said. "Goodbye."

"Good bye and…," he said as the line goes dead. Tamryn picked up her dress and asked her grandmother to help her put it on for school. They exited the room leaving Haymitch and I alone.

"How did you manage that?" I questioned.

"It wasn't my idea. It's actually Peeta's since he knew he would miss her birthday," he said. Haymitch caught the look of surprise on my face. "Dr. Aurelius called last week saying that Peeta wanted to send her some gifts. He also requested if he could wish her Happy Birthday personally via phone. He thought it would help Peeta if he had a little contact outside of the hospital. He clearly adores Tamryn."

I nodded in agreement. "Have you talked to him? I asked.

Haymitch shook his head, "I've tried on many occasions. This was just an exception. His sessions physically and emotionally drain him and after them, he's unresponsive for the rest of the day. Aurelius has restricted any contact besides himself and Delly. This is the first I've heard his voice since I dropped him off on the train weeks ago."

"He sounded good, but tired," I commented. I wished I had an opportunity to talk to him, but then I realized that I wouldn't know what to say since we never spoke while he was here.

"Dr. Aurelius said that his recovery looks promising. He won't tell me about his sessions. Doctor's confidentiality rules, I guess." I don't understand what that meant as he continued. "And, since I'm not family, he can't divulge anything except that he's okay and safe. Having Delly there helps." I winced and turned my head so he can't see my reaction.

Days crept by and life in District 12 moved forward. Everyday, Haymitch would tell me news about Peeta. It's been 3 weeks since his departure. I miss him. I think of the moments we shared, though they were a few. I tried to remember the touch of his hand on the small of my back, hands clasped together during our interview or whenever he escorted me to an event. His eyes were always open and expressive that I had to look away. I remembered the look of admiration in his eyes when I entered the room and the lingering look as I left it. Some nights I'm assaulted with nightmares while others are dreams of Peeta and I touching and caressing each other. His touch felt real as he held me in his arms, my breasts pressed close to his hard chest that I wake up clutching my pillow. These feeling that has surfaced had awakened an ache that I have not felt since our time together at the beach. I suppressed those feelings when I thought I had lost Peeta forever after his abduction. With the passage of time and distance, I have opened my eyes for the first time to see Peeta. For who he was and what he meant to me. I don't know if I love Peeta, like my mom loved my dad, but I know that I care about him, I worry for his safety and I miss him. I need time to figure it out.

One day as I sat in bedroom looking out my window, I watched a female figure appear at Haymitch's doorstep. The woman with bright red hair knocked on his door and waited. She launched her arms around him as soon as he opened the door. Surprised for a moment, he returned the embrace. A few words were spoken, a loud laugh and she walked into his home. I tried not to be nosy as I noticed that she remained for an hour. Soon, his door opened and they left his home. I ducked behind my curtains in hopes that Haymitch did not catch me spying on him. They headed towards Peeta's house and entered. Half an hour later, a large delivery truck arrived and both Haymitch and the mystery woman met the driver as he exited his vehicle.

Two week priors, I watched as Thom and Benj, the new furniture store owner to load all of Peeta's furniture that he had donated.

I was hurt that everyone knew of Peeta's plans from Haymitch, to Sae and Thom. I felt left out. I looked closer to the woman invading Peeta's home when I realizde that it is no other than Johanna Mason.

I haven't seen or heard from Johanna for close to a year. My relationship with her is lukewarm at best. Next thing I knew my feet flew from my room, down the stairs and out my door. Once outside, I approached them. Her back was turned as she spoke to the driver and delivery crew giving them directions to where each piece was placed. Haymitch's eyes bulged as he saw me approach them.

"Hey, Johanna," I greeted. She turned around, eyed me up and down.

"Hello, Everdeen. Long time so see,' she returned.

"What are you doing here?" I asked as I watched two men carry a king size mattress inside Peeta's house.

"I'll be staying at Peet's house for with next few days overseeing the delivery of his furniture that he ordered from my district. Make sure that everything is delivered in pristine condition," she said. "Hey, that goes inside the master bedroom; upstairs down the hall, the room on the left," she instructed as the workers head inside the house. I frown in surprised wondering how she knew that.

"Does Peeta know you're here? I asked, feeling left out yet again.

"We made arrangements long before he went back to the Capitol. I even helped him pick out his bedroom furniture," she implied. First Delly and now Johanna, he had reconnected with people in his life. I pondered if Effie made that list.

We all stood in there in front of Peeta's home in awkward silence. "So...," Haymitch started.

"I'd like to stand here and continue this reunion, but I should go inside and make sure these lunkheads don't scratch or break anything. Can't trust day workers these days," Johanna interrupted as she turned and walked away. "Everdeen," she yelled once she crossed the door way to Peeta's house, "we'll catch up later before I leave. We need to get to together, you know for some…'girl talk'." She turned and walked further into the house. I didn't like her invitation. I was not looking forward to having any _'girl talk'_ with her.

"Katniss, I didn't know she was coming. Really. I'm just as surprised as you are," he stated. I knew that was true since I saw the look on his as he opened his door an hour before. I felt annoyed and frustrated at Johanna's presence in 12. The world around me had moved forward and I felt left behind. I had no right to be angry since I hid myself from everyone and everything after the war. It's my own fault that I am and alone with a mentor, an elderly woman and her granddaughter as my only friends. Any communication outside 12 I ignored. A list of people popped into my head. Annie, Delly and Gale attempted to contact me via letters and calls I have all dismissed. Their presence in my life at the time brought too many painful memories of the war and most of all, Prim. Peeta who is my neighbor and friend I've all but avoided since his return. I told myself that I wanted to do more than survive; I needed to move forward. It was time that I faced the world. I didn't think it would start with Johanna Mason.

For close to a week Johanna stayed at Peeta's house. She visited the town, had nightly dinners with Haymitch and managed to become friends with both Sae and Tamryn. The townspeople in 12 avoided her. It seemed that she too was tagged a traitor like Peeta. She looked deadly and formidable with the long, thick knife sheathed on her left leg. She wore a black ensemble of leather pants, long sleeve t-shirt and leather vest. She also wore knee length black, steel plated boots over her pants. She was left alone.

Everywhere she went in 12, people stared, whispered amongst themselves. They talked about her for weeks even after her arrival. The newest rumor was that she was now Peeta's lover. It seemed that they had bonded after Peeta betrayed me during the rebellion. The star-crossed lovers love life was still popular and newsworthy.

During her visit, Tamryn, dressed in her garden boots while holding her watering can, and I would watered his plants. I never invited myself to his home. It didn't feel right without him there or accepting Johanna's invitation even when I was dying to know how his home looked inside.

On the last night of her visit, I joined Haymitch and Johanna for dinner. "The place looked great, Johanna. I bet Peeta's not going to recognize it when he gets back," Haymitch mentioned as he shoved a spoonful of lamb stew into his mouth after taking a big bite of bread. I shouldn't be surprised or jealous that he was in Peeta's home.

"I guess my training wasn't wasted after all these years," she commented as she played with her meal, swirling her spoon in her dinner bowl. I looked at her in surprised, a question in my eyes. "I attended interior design classes in District 7. I was close to graduating before I was reaped." It made sense since District 7 main manufacturing was lumber. Furniture building as well as carpentry was the main occupation. She had a wistful look about her. It was a disturbing contrast to her look of melancholy as she was dressed in her black ensemble, her knife still attached to her leg. She never left without it. I bet she even slept with it under her pillow. There was a softness in her face, I have never seen before. Maybe I haven't seen it because I wasn't looking. Just like I never really looked at Peeta.

"How's your district doing? Any problems like 4 and 6?" Haymitch questioned. I didn't know what they were talking about. His questioned snapped Johanna from her state when she realized I was clueless to the activity outside 12.

"Figures," she smirked at me. "Still living in your own little bubble."

"She doesn't know and you can't blame her," Haymitch added. They spoke as if I wasn't present in the room. "She doesn't need to do anything anymore. She's done enough."

"People looked up to her, followed her to war. She should at least know what's happening outside 12," she corrected without malice or anger. Just resignation. "They need to know that she's okay and healing too. She just can't disappear from the world."

"Johanna…" Haymitch voiced.

"I don't know what you two are talking about. But she's right, Haymitch," I added. I turned to Johanna. "I've been recovering in 12, licking my wounds. I'm sorry that I couldn't recover fast enough for you. I didn't want to be the symbol of the rebellion. I didn't want that burden on my shoulders, but I accepted it reluctantly. I lost my sister, my mother, my best friend and I lost…so forgive me for trying to heal on my own time and away from everyone."

"I'm sorry for your loss. I know that you were forced to be the Mockingjay. It wasn't a role I envied. But the districts lost as much as you. You survived, Katniss. With all the odds against you, you survived, two games and a rebellion. The war may be over but Panem is still looking at you, to help heal them, to let tell them that after everything we all went through, it was worth it. It is worth it."

I mulled over her words. "So tell me, what have I been missing?" I asked.

She stands up, "Come on, I need you to see something," she gestured as she walked over to Haymitch's viewing room and turned on his monitor.

'…_I'm standing in District 4 live with a crowd of angry citizens in front of their Justice Building,' _I see a news reporter from the Capitol standing in front of camera with microphone in his hand. Behind him are the new Guardsmen in heavy gear armed with tasers standing in the street as a large crowd stand before them. _'The protests and stand off have been going on for hours. The looting was stopped hours before but the angry crowd has not abated.' _He stopped as he placed a hand to his ears, listening into his ear mic. _'Hold on a second… 1__st__ Guardsmen Hawthorne will be addressing the crowd in a few seconds.'_

I gasped. I haven't seen or heard from Gale since my return. My stomach churned as I will be seeing him for the first time. The reporter turned around just as Gale came into view. He is handsome in his all black military Guardsmen gear. A complete reversal of the Peacekeeper uniform. It's design reflected the rebel gear from District 13 during the war. Gale stood tall, proud and fit. He sported a beard that covered his boyish face. I would have to have been blind not to acknowledge that he was handsome back before I was reaped, but thoughts like that I couldn't afford. He was my friend and hunting partner. I didn't think of him that way. It wasn't until I met Peeta who aroused new feelings he awakened in me.

'_People of District 4 please step back and go home. This is not the solution to your grievances. We have just risen from a war that tore our nation apart. We fought against the Capitol, from their greed and tyranny. Please do not fight amongst ourselves. Go home to your families, hold on to them and try to build a better future. Give yourself time to heal.'_ Some of the crowd dispersed while the majority stayed behind. Gale stood with his guards, his men ready at a moments noticed. _'That was 1__st__ Guardsmen Gale Hawthorne addressing a disgruntled crowd in District 4 commerce sector. I'm Arn DeVille I'm here in live at District 4. I will give you more updates in a few moments after a commercial break.'_ Johanna turned off the monitor.

I'm shocked and surprised. I was impressed by Gale's speech but I knew that they were words written by Heavensbee. I recognized his style.

"That's what has been happening while you were recovering in 12," Johanna interrupted. "Small looting parties have surfaced in 6 and 9. People are angry because they feel slighted and neglected. They feel that every district deserved to be compensated, why is 12 getting the full benefit after the war with the new town and new beginning?"

"I didn't know." I admitted.

"You mean you didn't want to know," Johanna stated. "I understand that you went through a lot even before the reaping. We all have. We didn't sacrifice so many lives and suffered so many losses to stop living, Katniss. We freed the districts from the Capitol but the scars and wounds are still there. You were their hope and savior, you still are. People still look up to you for guidance. You are and always will be the Mockingjay. This nation will heal as long as you do the same. I'm not asking to be in the line of fire again. I just want you to be aware of what is ahead of us. All of us."

"You don't owe anyone anything," Haymitch added. "We need to heal together. You are not alone in this, Katniss." That night we all cried together. No big hugs and kisses, but I came back with a new understanding and respect for Johanna. We may not be friends, but I am happy she is in my life. If she is in Peeta's life, I want her to me in mine too. Maybe in time, we will be. I think Peeta will like that.

Days later, I stood at the train platform. I am a few yards away from Haymitch, Sae and Tamryn who were there to greet him. I knew that Peeta was returning today and I wanted to see him, surprise him and welcome him home since I didn't have the courage the last time he came back. So Haymitch isn't aware of my presence. I needed to do this on my own. I'm nervous, scared and excited at the same time. I dressed for him today. I wore an orange dress with dark brown flats and my hair in a braid. I must be a sight standing on the platform, wearing a dress as I clutched an arrangement of flowers in my hands. People are staring at me but I ignore them. I had a mission. After my talk with Johanna the night she left, I mulled over her words of concern over Peeta's mental welfare. It was a rude awakening as she voiced her feelings of my relationship with Peeta. A conversation I wrestled with myself that had opened my eyes clearly.

I hear the whistle of the train arriving. I strangled the bunch of dandelion with both my hands in front of me. My heart is beating fast. My is mouth dry. I'm so excited that I don't see Gale as he exited the luxury compartments situated in front of the train. "Catnip," he yelled. My name doesn't register, I just see Peeta as he disembarked from the train. I don't acknowledge the people behind him.

The next thing I knew, Gale had his large arms around me, lifting me into the air as he swung me in a circular motion. I'm not even aware that I had dropped the flower on the ground. He stopped and placed me on the ground. I gasped, "Gale." He smiled so wide in surprise and joy. He dipped his head down and kissed me. I was so shocked that I froze for a moment, my hands on his upper arms. I heard a gasp behind Gale as he released me. I see Delly, Johanna and Peeta staring at us with Haymitch, Sae and Tamryn behind them. Delly looked disappointed. Johanna's death glare etched on her face and Peeta, his eyes sad and resigned. "Oh, shit," I cursed.


	7. Chapter 7 - The Reunion

Chapter 7 – The Reunion of the Star Crossed Lovers

_**AN: To my reviewers, you guys are the best. To my fellow writers/reviewers, thanks for the kind words of encouragement. This chapter Haymitch, Katniss and Delly POVs.**_

**Haymitch POV – **

I felt a sense of déjà vu standing at the train platform, waiting for Peeta. I remembered how sad I felt that there was no one but me to welcome him home the first time. The reception was awkward, subdued and painful. It revealed to me what I had lost with Peeta, his trust and friendship. Two things I knew I needed to earn back. So on this occasion I have decided to get back up. I brought Sae and Tamryn along to welcome Peeta back home. An act of cowardice and self-preservation, you bet. I needed all the help I can get. My thoughts are interrupted as I hear the whistle of train approaching. Tamryn is bouncing on her heals. She missed him. A lot. Every single day all she asked was when he was coming home. I don't blame her since I did the same with Dr. Aurelius in our daily phone conversations.

The trained stopped. Flocks of people from all districts are migrating to 12. I tried not to think of the thousands who died in order for 12 to have a new life after the rebellion. A few who had survived managed to come back, to start over. Tamryn pulled on my leg pants. "Can you see him, Mr. Abernathy?" she asked. She held a bunch of hand-picked daisies in her hand with a sloppy bow wrapped around it.

"Not yet, kid." I answered as I strained my neck to search for him. The crowd thinned out and I started to panic wondering if he made it. He had left a few days ago and decided to make a stop to see Johanna. I felt comforted that she had his back and would make sure he got back on the train after his visit. However, a lot can happen between 7 and 12. What if something happened to him? I remembered Dr. Aurelius telling me of the security breach on Peeta's floor and the rose that was left behind on his door. This was a pressing issue that I had not resolved - his safety back in 12 and the Victor's village. I'll need to discuss that with Peeta.

'_I should have gone to the Capitol and picked him up,'_ I scolded myself as he doesn't appear. At last, I see him, blond curls peek out from under his cap indicating that he's in need of a haircut. His eyes roamed the crowd searching. I was about to call him out when I hear a voice ring into the air.

"Catnip?" Gale yelled. I turned to see him run out of the train and head towards…Katniss? I didn't realize that she was here. When I told her that Peeta was arriving today, she just shook her and thanked me for letting her know. Is this why she didn't want to come with us? She was here to meet Gale? What the hell?

So let me tell you, I have experienced and seen many horrific events in my life. What unraveled right before my eyes was a train wreck. I watched as Gale reached Katniss, picked her up in his arms in what appeared to be a long awaited reunion between lovers. Then, he placed her on the floor and kissed her. Katniss appeared shell-shocked as she gasped his name. Within seconds she looked straight at us or more likely to Peeta. I turned to see Peeta who dropped his duffel bag, his eyes sad as he stared at the two for a few seconds. Then, his eyes glazed over as he placed both hands over his ears chanting, _'not real, not real'_ over and over.

"What the fuck?" Johanna exclaimed, her eyes dark and murderous as she stared at Katniss and Gale.

"Grandma, the lady said a bad word," Tamryn gasped. Sae grabbed Tamryn with a confused look on her face as she shushed her.

"Not real, not real, not real," Peeta continued as he rocked back and forth. Delly walked in front of him and placed her hands on his head and looked straight into his eyes.

"Real, Peeta. Real," she confirmed in a soft tone. "Look at me."

"Delly!" Both Johanna and I screamed. "What the hell are you doing?" I roared as Peeta's eyes bulged, his hands dropped to his sides.

"Shut up, both of you," Delly instructed. "I know what I'm doing." She grabbed Peeta's left arm. I then noticed a silver band wrapped around his wrist.

"The hell you do, you're going to make him have an episode," I barked. Peeta's eyes went from confusion to fear. His lips trembled. His hands shook as his eyes targeted on Katniss blinking.

"What? Do you want me to lie to him?" she interjected as she continued to look into the wristband. A light on his band went from green to light yellow in seconds.

"Yes!" I exploded, "he can't have an episode in the middle of the platform in front of all these people." I looked around and sure enough, people are staring and whispering round us. I turned to Sae as she held Tamryn. The poor girl was crying. "Take her home. She shouldn't be here."

"I don't want to go home, I want to help Peeta," she cried as she remembered Peeta's episode weeks before.

"Go!" I bellowed. Sae picked Tamryn up and walked off the platform with her crying out to Peeta.

"This is real, he has to face it now or he never will," Delly said as she faced Haymitch. She was right if Katniss had chosen Gale, Peeta would find out sooner or later. But damn Katniss for picking this moment to have her reunion in front of Peeta. It was heartless and cruel.

I looked to see what Katniss was doing. I was surprised. She struggled against Gale as he held on to her. She was yelling at him. Tears running down her face. "Let go of me," she bellowed as Gale kept a hard grip on her arms. "Let go!"

Delly kept a hold of Peeta's left arm. "Real, Peeta. Real," she insisted as she placed a hand on his cheek.

"Peeta!" Katniss screamed. Her scream caught Peeta's attention. His eyes glazed over as he turned to see Katniss struggling with Gale. His demeanor changed in an instant. He broke free from Delly and ran towards her. Peeta pulled Gale by the arm freeing Katniss from his grip. "Don't touch her," Peeta snarled. "Stay away from her, you mutt." Peeta's eyes were dark and angry.

Gale stepped over and shoved him hard causing Peeta to stumble. "Make me, Mellark," he taunted, his eyes threatening and hard.

Before Peeta reacted, I grabbed him from the waist and pulled him away. He kicked his arms and legs trying to break free. Delly had her arms wrapped around Katniss as Johanna stood between Gale and me. "Fuck Katniss, did you have to do that if front of him?" I spat. I was so mad at her for being insensitive to Peeta's feelings.

"I didn't mean for this to happen," she cried.

"Katniss, Katniss," Peeta screamed. "Katniss. Let go of me. Katniss!"

"Peeta," Katniss bawled as tears ran down her cheeks. "Peeta." Delly held on to her as Peeta struggled in my arms. Then, suddenly his body slumped and he dropped on the ground. Without a thought, I picked him up and carried him away, running towards the Victors Village. I can hear Katniss screaming Peeta's name from a distance.

* * *

><p><strong>Katniss POV – <strong>

I watched as Haymitch picked up Peeta's unconscious body and head home. My throat is tight and my eyes burned from crying. Delly released her hold and looked back at me with sadness and sympathy. "Hey, Katniss," she greeted. "He'll be okay, I'll take good care of him for you." I am tired and speechless as she turned and walked away.

My eyes meet with Johanna's, unforgiving and angry. "Everdeen, sorry to interrupt your happy reunion," she sneered as she looked at Gale behind me. Her eyes returned to mine. "You're a real piece of work, you know that?"

"Back off, Mason," Gale interrupted. "Go take care of Mellark, leave us Katniss alone."

Johanna's eyes left mine as she looked at Gale, "One piece of advice, Hawthorne. Stay away from Peeta. You'll answer to me if you don't," she promised as she turned to me. "Same goes for you." She spat and walked away.

Dumbstruck, I can't believe what had happened. Whatever happiness I felt was dashed within seconds. When I first saw Peeta get off the train, I felt joy and excited to finally see, touch him if he'd let me. My blood ran cold as I hear Gale from behind me. "Catnip?" he said.

I saw red. I turned to him and stared into his eyes. "Catnip?" he repeated. He stood there with a smile on his face.

During my training in the games, Haymitch had once told me that when I am feeling trapped, stressed and angry, I react without thinking. I have_'no impulse control.'_ I remembered how I reacted when Peeta revealed to all of Panem, his crush on me. Without thinking, I shoved him against the wall, hurting him. So without considering the consequences, I swung my right arm and punched Gale right in the face so hard he reeled backwards. My hand felt numb that I'm sure that I sprained it. Once the adrenaline wears off I'll feel the pain. Right now, my pain radiates elsewhere. In my chest.

The crowd around us gasped in horror. "Shit, Katniss! What was that for?" he whined as he cupped his nose that started to swell with blood dripping from it.

"That was for Peeta," I yelled d as I stepped forward and shoved him. "For hurting him. For ruining everything!"

"He could have hurt you," he stated, justifying his behavior. "Did you see his face? He was just like in 13, crazy and uncontrollable."

"He wasn't coming after me, you idiot," I corrected. "Who the hell do you think you are to just come here and grab me like that? And then kiss me?" I shrieked. I'm so livid I can't think straight. All I see is Peeta and how he reacted in seeing Gale kiss me.

"When I saw you," he explained. "I thought…"

"Though what, that I was waiting for YOU?" I bellowed in disgust. "I haven't seen or talked to you for months!"

"Well, whose fault is that?" he yelled back. "I've tried calling you, I wrote letters that you returned. I've been trying to talk to you and you won't see me."

"Because I don't want to see you!" I roared. I don't acknowledge the hurt and sad look on his face. I'm so angry that I'm closed to tears. I am not about to cry over Gale and his assumptions. I looked around and I noticed the people around me are watching and taking video of my confrontation with Gale. Great, even though there is media access to 12 that didn't stop people from taking pictures and video of me wherever I went. Damn the new technology accessible to everyone. Horrified that my life is again televised to the public, I turned and walked away from Gale, I walked back angry, frustrated and alone.

Hours later, the media got hold of my altercation with Gale. The incident was televised all night reporting that the Star Crossed lovers is now involved in a love triangle. It was humiliating. I hope that Peeta isn't watching the news. I hid in my home. I didn't want to see or talk to anyone. Gale attempted to talk to me. I slammed the door on his face the first time he appeared on my doorstep. He knew better to try it again.

I'm standing at the edge of the woods in a middle of the rain. I haven't been able to hunt or visit the woods since my return to 12. I couldn't stand staying in my home any longer so I decided to take a walk. My feet led me here. I am wet, cold and miserable. It's been 3 days since my disastrous reunion with Peeta. My hopes to be reunited with him are squashed. I haven't been able to see or talk to him. His ever-faithful watchdog, Johanna won't let me near him. The day after the incident I went over to see him when she appeared at his door, blocking the way. She told me to not to come near him or talk to him. I guess I can't blame her. I remember the conversation we had the night before she went back to 7. That night we came into an understanding, as she imparted her words of wisdom. The night she left and gave us her blessing and a warning.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Flashback, weeks prior before Peeta's return –<strong>_

Johanna and I left Haymitch's home in a somber mood. She had opened my eyes to the world that I had ignored since my return to 12. I swore to myself that I would try to be better. I know that Prim would want that for me. As I made it to my house, Johanna addressed me. "So, before I leave, I thought we should have that 'girl talk' I mentioned while back," she snickered. Talking to Johanna is something I didn't look forward to. My conversations with her are either embarrassing or humiliating but in most cases they're both. I led her to my living room. She eyed the room for a moment. "You should redecorate. There's nothing like exorcising ghosts from your house," she suggested.

"Do you want water or juice? I don't have alcohol in my house," I asked, remembering my manners. Effie would be very proud of me.

"No thanks, I had enough at Haymitch's. I need a clear head when I get on the train tomorrow" she explained. I sat down a chair away from Johanna as she sat herself on the sofa. "So, Peeta is coming home in a few days." She started with no warning or preamble. "I don't know when exactly, but it's soon."

"You've talked to him?" I asked as jealousy filled my mind. How would she know that? Did Haymitch? Why wouldn't be tell me?

"No, Delly told me," she said. She's friends with Delly? "Haymitch doesn't know if you're wondering." I felt as though she read my mind. It unnerved me. "So, I'll get to the point…Peeta's my friend, you can say that after what we've been through…he's my best friend. I don't have a lot of those so what I say to you I say with good intentions. He means a lot to me. I don't ever want anyone to hurt him."

'_How dare she think that I would ever hurt Peeta in any way.' _I fumed. "You need to make up your mind of what he means to you. The Peeta we have now is different, but the same. However, he's not the same Peeta that ran after you, waiting for little crumbs here and there for your attention. So I'm telling you right now…you take him or leave him."

I am astounded by her bluntness. "If you want him, then you need show him. I know that you're not good with words. Peeta has always been able to understand that. So what you lack in words, you need to show him of what he means to you. And if you mean to keep him and love him the way he deserved to be loved, show him every day for the rest of your life. Your life together will be hard. You both are former tributes and victors from the games. You are the Star-Crossed lovers of the 74th Hunger Games. Your lives are in a fish bowl for all the world to see. What you and he have together is a gift. Don't deny him or yourself what the world has known since the games. You won't be disappointed. He won't disappoint you." I smiled at Johanna. Her faith in us is encouraging.

"However, if you don't want him the way he's always wanted you, you have to let him go. You need to. If that's the case, you need to look him in the eye and use words that he can fully understand. Make it quick and crystal clear of what needs to be said. Don't ask for friendship, don't string him along in your life as his friend. Cut him off from your life completely; find a way to crush that little boy who had loved you since he was 5. You need to kill that part of him that's been devoted to you since he's laid his eyes on you. End it so painfully and swiftly that he has no choice but to move on from you because it's the only way he'll ever get over you."

"Who the hell do you think you are to dictate my life?" I seethed. I can't fathom her audacity, the presumption to tell me what to do with Peeta or how I feel about him. "You're not his keeper."

"No, but I love him, I love him as a friend," she corrected. "Can you say the same?"

I'm dumbstruck and speechless. Lost for words, I remained silent. "I love him enough to protect him. I know that you care are about him. You would be heartless if you didn't. And I know you're not. You were forced together as allies and tributes, but in your time together, has he ever been your friend?" A look of sympathy crossed her face. "Don't hurt him anymore. Make up your mind before he gets here. If you need more time," she warned, "stay away from him until you know what you really want."

"And what if Peeta wants to be friends?" I asked implying that even if I don't love him, Peeta might still want a friendship with me.

"Then, I'll do whatever it takes to help him get over you. Friendship is last thing he needs from you," she added.

"And what is your friendship based on, your time in the Capitol made you what…torture buddies?" I retaliated. It was mean and uncalled for but I was too angry to hold my tongue. I didn't realize how much my friendship with Peeta meant to me. Were we even friends?

"Lash out all you want, you need to hear the hard truths. My grandma told me something once about love. I never understood it. Until now. _'To be loved by someone, it's a gift, but to love someone, it takes courage.' _

* * *

><p><strong>Present time – <strong>

So in perspective I can't blame Johanna for being protective over Peeta. In her eyes I've strung him along. Never committing to him in any way either in friendship or in love. I used Gale when I thought I lost Peeta. And when Peeta came back damaged and broken, I sought Gale for comfort. I abandoned him. After our talk, she assumed I chose Gale.

As for Gale, I don't even think about him. When I do, all I can think about is how he ruined my chance with Peeta. Sae told me that he hasn't left 12. I've heard that Hazelle and her family are returning and Gale was back to secure their residency. In the meantime, I hid in my home, cried myself to sleep and had my own little pity party. Once I get over my humiliation and anger, I need to find a way to fix my relationship not just with Peeta but with Johanna too.

Maybe I can get Delly to help me.

So while I'm in the middle of my pity fest, I don't see Tamryn with Peeta holding his hand. Not far behind is Johanna and Delly trailing behind them.

"Katniss," Tamryn shrieked while she dragged Peeta with her. I didn't notice that it stopped raining. The sun began to peek from behind the clouds. The air is crisp and cold. The sunrays shine behind Peeta making his blond curls glow. He looked like an angel. He took my breath away. They are both wearing rain gear with Peeta holding a bright yellow polka dot umbrella with his free hand, while I wore a simple jacket, pants and boots. They were adorable.

Hi, Tamryn," I greeted and smiled at the both of them.

I see Peeta's shocked look on his face. It vanished once they reached me. "You're all wet, Katniss," she giggled. "Did you forget your umbrella?"

"I know. I left it at home. I was taking a walk when it started to rain," I explained as I looked at Peeta. He looked everywhere but me. "Hi, Peeta."

"Hi, Katniss," he said in a whisper. Behind him, I see Delly holding onto Johanna's arm.

"Hey, why aren't you in school?" I asked.

"It's Parent-Teacher Day," Tamryn explained. "Grandma had to go school today."

"Oh, I see," I said. I remembered those days since my mother missed most of them after my dad passed away. Her grief kept her away from Prim and me that I took the role of parent at a young age.

"I get to stay with Peeta. We went to your house but your weren't there," she said. "I want to invite you to my birthday party," she gushed. I looked at Peeta.

"I promised her a birthday cake and what's a birthday cake without a party," he explained. "It'll be in 3 days at my house around noon. She's inviting all her friends from school."

"You're coming right?" she asked.

"Of course, Tam, I wouldn't miss it for the world," I replied.

The morning of Tamryn's party I had emptied out my closest after trying 6 dresses, 7 blouses and 6 skirts. As for shoes, I decided for comfort than for style. I didn't have many clothes days before the party. Everything I owned was lost during the rebellion. It took a desperate phone conversation with Effie for me to acquire my new and meager wardrobe. I laughed when Effie gushed of my reason for my new clothes. After our conversation and with a promise to keep in touch, she mailed me new clothes including undergarments that made me blush red. I stuffed the unmentionables on the closet floor. Maybe if I'm lucky I would show it for Peeta. One day.

Prim would have been amused and proud of my girlish behavior. It's not like Peeta asked me out on a date, but HE was going to be there. There was no way he can avoid me since the party is held in his house. I'm anxious and giddy at the same time. I've never felt like this before. This was it, my chance to see Peeta and talk to him. I swore I would find the time to pull him aside and explain what happened at the train station. I know it's inexcusable to be using Tamryn's party as a way to talk to Peeta, but how else am I going to get him alone when he's always with Johanna or Delly.

After an hour of dressing and undressing some more, I decided on wearing a simple orange blouse with dark brown skirt and knee hi boots. I can't look at the dress I wore at the train station ever again without remembering the look on Peeta's face. I should burn it.

I walked the short distance to Peeta's house and knocked on his door. And as usual, it's Johanna who answered it. She had scowl on her face.

"Katniss, oh my it's been so long since I've seen you," Delly squealed as she embraced me. "Come on in, make yourself comfortable." She led me to the living room which was decorated with pink balloons, and a large sign, _'Happy Birthday, Tamryn'_ on one wall. The room looked cozy and comfortable with large overstuffed furniture that contrasted to my Capitol minimalist furnishings in my home. There was large area rug that almost covered the living room floor. I can see Peeta everywhere in the room from the lamps to the small floral vases that decorated each end table. The room was painted a faint yellow. There are no paintings on the wall. Though our houses are built and decorated the same from the interior to the exterior, Peeta had replaced everything that came from the Capitol. In his dining room, on the large oak table is Tamryn's cake. It is a tall 3 layer tiered cake decorated with daisies made of frosting. On top is a beautiful sugar sculpted butterfly. It was exquisite.

I looked around hoping to see him but he is nowhere in sight. "He's upstairs getting ready. It's been a long couple of days," Delly said as if she read my mind. "He worked really hard to make Tamryn's cake perfect."

"The cake is beautiful, Delly," I commented. I see a wistful look on her face. Johanna had disappeared after closing the door behind us.

"He finished the cake about 3 this morning. It took him all night making each of those daisies on the cake," she added.

"How is he, Delly?" I asked.

"Baking the cake was really difficult for him. But beyond that, he's good," she said. "Katniss, just be very patient with him, okay? I don't know what's going on between you and Gale, just don't upset him."

"Delly, the last thing I ever want to do is upset him. I'm not here to hurt him. I know this isn't the proper time, but do you think he'd be okay to talk to me?" I asked. "I've been meaning to talk to him but every chance I get, Johanna is there to stop me."

"She's just worried about him. We all are," Delly explained. "Listen, I'll try to get you some alone time with Peeta. But in the meantime, there's a birthday party we have to get started. As soon as the birthday girl gets her, that is."

"Where is she? I thought she'd be here by now," I observed.

"She and Sae are on the way," she said. "They should be here by now." And as she finished Tamryn walked through the door in the dress I gave her for her birthday with a harried Sae behind her. Delly greeted them hello as they walked into the room.

"Katniss, you're here," she squealed. "Where's Peeta?" She looked about the room then eyed her cake. "Is that my cake? It's so pretty."

I turned to see Peeta and Johanna walked down the stairs. He wore a dark blue dress shirt that brought out his eyes, and dark brown pants and boots. You would have thought that we had coordinated our wardrobe together. He was still too thin as his clothes looked large on him. His long hair is slicked back. He looked tired from staying up all night. Johanna is dressed in her usual black ensemble minus knife on her leg.

"Peeta, my cake is so pretty. Thank you. Thank you," she exclaimed as she hugged him around his legs. He winced when she pulled away from him to goggle over her cake again. "All my classmates are going to be so jealous when they see the cake Peeta made me." Delly and Sae walked over to the table. "Johanna, did you see my cake." She pulled her by the hand leaving Peeta and I alone. There's an awkward silence between us.

"Hey, Peeta. The cake looks great. You really did a great job," I complimented him.

"Thanks, I just hope it tastes okay. I've haven't baked a cake since Finnick's wedding," he said. "Thank you for coming. I didn't know if you would come…," Peeta said stumbling with his words.

"I told Tamryn I would. Besides, I came here for the cake," I teased. My attempt for humor goes flat as Peeta looked at Tamryn. He had a melancholy look on his face.

"What wrong, Peeta?" I asked. I wondered if baking the cake brought painful memories of his family and the bakery.

"I just want this day to be perfect for Tamryn. I feel bad that she waited this long to have her party," he said.

"Don't feel bad. She would have waited forever. She just wanted you home," I said_. 'Me too,' _my mind echoed as I looked at him.

"She's a great kid, sort of reminded me of someone," he sighed. I looked at Tamryn and realized with her long dark hair in a braid and her hazel eyes, she reminded me of myself at that age.

"Listen, Peeta, I was wondering if we could talk later...," I asked. Before I could continue, there's a knock on the door as guests arrived for the party.

Hours later, I watched Peeta during the party. If he wasn't standing and talking to Delly, he would socialize with Sae and Johanna. The parents of Tamryn's classmates were civil but not friendly to him. Even Haymitch behaved, moody but sober as he enjoyed the lunch that was served. All afternoon, I noticed him watching me. I haven't spoken to him at all. I was too embarrassed and hurt that he would accuse me of hurting Peeta.

When it came time to open the gifts, Tamryn pulled Peeta, Sae and I to sit beside her; Sae on her right and Peeta and I to her left. I tried not to fidget as Peeta sat to my left, his leg would brush against mine. Peeta was also next to me when Tamryn cut her cake. I helped Peeta serve cake and ice cream as he played the perfect host to his guests. The ice cream became a big hit with her classmate because before the rebellion only the rich can afford it. It was not a luxury that even the Merchants of 12 could afford. His proximity was comforting and overwhelming at the same time. We were polite and cordial to each other all afternoon. It felt like we were back in the Capitol playing a part in front of a camera. I felt sick to my stomach when I realized that Peeta could barely look me in the eye. I could see the sympathetic look in Delly's face and the worry in Johanna's.

Soon the party died down, as each child left Tamryn and Peeta would hand them a small gift bag. I wondered which district tradition the gift bag came from. Probably 1 or the Capitol. Tamryn and Sae soon left afterwards with Haymitch trailing along with all her gifts to be carried home. Once the guests were gone, I stayed to help clean up. Peeta and Johanna worked in the kitchen washing dishes while Delly and I cleared the table and wrapped the leftovers. I can hear Peeta and Johanna in the kitchen talking.

"Peet, you've been up all morning. You're exhausted. Delly and I can take care of the mess," Johanna said.

"I'm too wired. Besides, you know I can't sleep and when I do I get…," Peeta admitted.

"You've been awake for almost 3 days. You need sleep," she insisted. "If you don't, I'm going to you knock you over the head." He laughed. "I'm serious." The tone in her voice meant business.

"Johanna, please don't. I'll sleep tonight, I promise. I just can't right now," he sounded like a little boy who had been scolded.

"Is it because of her?" she asked. "She shouldn't be here if she's just upsetting you."

"No, it's not about her," he stated. "Not completely. She came, Johanna. She's here in my house."

"Yes, she's real and you're agitated," she said.

"I keep wondering if she's real or not. I'm wondering if I'm dreaming again," he admitted.

"Don't push yourself, Peet. You're still recovering from your treatments and yes, you're better, but you need to slow down," she said. "Go rest."

"Thank you for standing by me, Seven," Peeta quipped. 7 must be her nickname. "I couldn't have done this without you and Delly." I walked over to the kitchen doorway and watched them with their backs facing me. He wiped his hands with a kitchen towel.

"Okay, you must be feeling better, Twelve. You're getting mushy and all. If you don't get some sleep soon, I'm gonna beat you unconscious," she warned, her voice teasing. She bumped him by the shoulders. "Hey, let me take over KP duty. Take my offer I don't make it often." She shoved him out of the way. "Take a breather, get some fresh air." She pointed to a wooden bench outside in his garden. I watched him walk out the back door. "Hey, Mellark," Johanna called out, "I hate you, okay?"

He smiled back smirking, "I hate you too, Mason."

"Hey," Delly said. I gasped when I find her beside me trying not to look guilty for spying on Peeta and Johanna. "Are you okay?" I nodded my head. "Where's Peeta?" she asked as she craned her neck looking for him.

"Out back," I said.

"Well, that's your chance," she smiled encouraging me.

"What about?" I said as I pointed at Johanna in the kitchen.

"I'll handle Johanna. Go!" she ordered giving a slight shove. I walked outside to see Peeta resting on a wooden bench in front of his empty garden. He staring at a post with a hand painted sun on a wood board in the middle of the yard.

"Hey, Peeta. Would it be okay if I sat down with you?" I asked. He nodded his head as his eyes looked down on the ground. "It was a great party. You made Tamryn very happy and popular today. The kids couldn't stop talking about the cake and ice cream. Everyone wants to be her best friend."

"I know it's been difficult for her, Haymitch told me what's been going on in her school. I didn't mean to make it hard for her," he sighed.

"She's a strong kid, Peeta. She can handle herself," I added.

"Sounds like someone I know," he mentioned. His ears turned pink as he tried to hide his smile from me. We sat there for a few minutes.

"By the way, you look good, Peeta," I complimented him. Despite his weight loss, he still looked handsome and sweet with his hair curling, his lips and cheeks pink from the frosty chill in the air.

"You're beautiful," he whispered so low that I thought I imagined it. I blushed and felt hot under the collar. We smiled at each other like two nervous teenagers out on a first date. After a few agonizing moments, we both spoke up.

"Is this…" Peeta started.

"Do you think..." I said.

"Go ahead," he gestured to me.

"Sorry, you first," I interrupted. We both laughed.

"This is real, you're sitting here with me?" he voiced.

"Yes, Peeta this is real. I'm right here next to you," I acknowledged.

"It's just sometimes… It's hurts my head…I think I see things and I don't know if it real sometimes," he said as he looked away. I realized that he talking about what happened at the train station.

"Peeta, I want to explain about what happened last week...," I started. I'm about to explain when he turned to me.

"Katniss, can we just sit here. Together. I just want to freeze this moment forever," he sighed once again. I blinked my eyes from tearing up. I realized that he's reliving a moment that we shared together. Grateful, I nodded my head. He closed his eyes and laid his head on the back of the bench. We sat there for few minutes when I discovered that he's fallen asleep. His soft snore was music to my ears. His breathing is steady and calm. I reached over to take his hand in mine hoping he won't wake up. I sit back and bask in this moment as I watch him continue to sleep next to me.

* * *

><p><strong>Delly POV – <strong>

I stood guard as I watched Peeta and Katniss sitting together. It was a bittersweet moment for them as I see Katniss trying to reach for him. He's weary and skittish, blinking his eyes and chanting in his head if she's real or not. For years, I have watched him yearn for this moment. I am startled as Johanna surprised me.

"He shouldn't be out there with her alone," she suggested. Her face etched with worry and a bit of anger.

"He won't hurt her," I reassured her.

"He's not whom I'm worried about," she stated. I felt her concern but was not worried. You can tell that Katniss cares for Peeta. Loves him. She has from the start. As for Peeta, his love for her has been true and strong, but even he had his limits. I remember the conversation we had a week ago.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Flashback, the night after the train station fiasco – <strong>_

I watched Peeta by doorway as he unpacked the last of his drawing pads from his duffel bag. His clothes hanged and placed in the drawers. He wore gray sweatpants and a black t-shirt. His boney frame jutted from clothing. He was unconscious for the better part of the day, the incident with Gale and Katniss caused an episode. He woke up hours later, exhausted, hungry and a need of a shower.

"Hey baker boy, how are you feeling?" I asked as I walked into the room and sat on his bed. On top of the covers are the clothes I bought him for the trip back home. He balked at the idea of my buying clothes for him until he made me swear to buy what he wanted. He was specific, nothing pastel, floral or any design. I had told him that I've helped my boyfriend shop his clothes. I know what to buy.

Peeta shuddered and said. "Oh don't tell me that you got him wearing pink?" I blushed when I think of the light red shirt I bought for my boyfriend, Bron.

"It's light red, Peeta. Not pink," I corrected. He laughed.

"Oh, Delly, he must really have it bad for you to wear anything pink," he commented. I smiled at that idea. He placed his duffel bag inside his master closet.

"Peeta, are you sure you're okay?" I asked in concern. "Maybe we should have stayed in 7 with Johanna a little longer."

"I couldn't delay the inevitable, Delly," he said. "You even said it yourself." He sat next to me. "I have to face my demons, as Dr. Aurelius said in one of my sessions."

"So I'm sorry for what happened today," she said.

"Not your fault, Delly," he said as he toyed with the edge of the pillow on his bed. "It was bound to happen, I just didn't think it would happen today of all days."

"What are you going to do?" I inquired.

"Nothing, there's nothing to do. I've moving on with my life and so is she," he added. "It's time that I faced the reality that she and I never had a chance. Besides, I'm different now. If she didn't love me before, she would never love me now. It's done. I'm done."

"You're not, Peeta. You can't tell me that after 13 years of being in love with Katniss Everdeen that it's over. Just like that," she stated. "You saw how she reacted when she was with Gale. Maybe it's not what it looked like."

"It doesn't matter if she's with him or not. It's not my concern. We were never together to begin with," he said. "I don't know how I feel anymore."

"That's bullshit, and you know it," I yelled. "Tell me, look me straight in the eyes and tell me that you don't love her anymore. That you stopped." He looked down on the floor. "Swear to me, that you're over her, Peeta." He turned his face from me as I took his hand in mine. He remained quiet as tears brimmed from his eyelids. "You can't because you're still in love with her. The Capitol didn't take that from you."

"It doesn't matter. I don't want to hurt her anymore. My sessions didn't guarantee that I won't hurt her in one of my episodes. She can still trigger them," he admitted.

"You're doing better, Peet. You just need time," I said.

"And what if she's moved on," he said.

"I know she hasn't moved on to anyone. If she did, which I know she didn't, I'll help you. We'll face it together. But you're wrong. You can't give up on her," I advised. "You can't give up now after all you've been through."

"I don't know, Delly. I don't know if I have it in me anymore," he sighed.

"Then we'll take it a day at a time, okay. Don't decide without seeing her or talking to her. She might surprise you," I said.

* * *

><p><strong>Present time – <strong>

After that night, Peeta had been quiet, unresponsive and somber. I thought that making Tamryn's cake would pull him out of his funk but all it did was add to his nightmares and exhausted him. Both Johanna and I had kept a close eye on him. The reading on his wrist stayed green meaning that his stress level was normal.

Peeta has to wear a medical wristband at all times. A band designed by Dr. Aurelius and Mr. Beetee Latier. It would indicate when he's over stressing himself; causing him to have an episode. Haymitch asked me about it once we reached Peeta's home after the altercation with Gale. It's specifically designed to track the venom that still in his blood. Once it reached a red level, a signal is sent via satellite to a monitoring system at the Capitol. A signal returns back to his wrist administering a sedative to his blood stream equipped on his wristband. Dr. Aurelius would be alerted whenever he got a dosage. It was never tested since Peeta didn't' suffer an attack while he was at the Capitol. Of course, Peeta could administer it to himself with a touch of a button. Only Dr. Aurelius and I have access to his band. I'm glad it worked at the train station.

We haven't talked again since our return to 12. He never mentioned or asked about Katniss. I just hope he hasn't given up after seeing her and Gale together. My thoughts are interrupted as Johanna gasped in surprise.

"Well take a look at that," Johanna said with an amazed look on her face. I looked to see Peeta asleep as Katniss watched over him. Her head leaning close to his. They are so cute together. Maybe there's still hope left for the both of them.

* * *

><p><strong>Katniss POV – <strong>

Days pass, I don't see or hear from Peeta after the party. The limited time we shared at her party was just a start. I made a promise to myself to give him space and time. He waited 13 years for me. Though I don't have his patience, I will wait for him for as long as I have to.

There's someone knocking on my door, I get up to open it to find Gale standing in my front porch. Again. For the past couple of days, he's been hovering on my doorstep asking to talk to him.

"Katniss, please hear me out," he begged. "Please for the sake of our friendship, what is left of it, we need to talk." I nodded and left my house not wanting Gale to come inside. The last thing I need is Peeta seeing me invite Gale inside my home.

We walked to the edge of the woods. I stopped and faced him. "Tell me what you want to say because I don't have all day," I said.

"I'm sorry for what happened at the train station. You were right, I did assume that you were waiting for me," he uttered with an embarrassed look on his face. "It's just that Thom had been telling me that you and him haven't been talking or seeing each other. Everyone in 12 knew that you're relationship during the games was fake."

I was losing my composure. Even if my relationship wasn't real, it still didn't give him the right to assume that Gale had a chance with me.

"So when I saw you there wearing a dress and holding flowers, waiting at the platform, I just thought you've forgiven me and was there for me," he said.

"I don't know what gave you that idea. But I have to admit it was my fault. What I did with you in District 13 while Peeta was gone, wasn't right. I used you both and I'm sorry for that," I said.

"You're wrong, Catnip. What we had before, it was real," he noted. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

"It doesn't matter what you thought, too much has happened. We can't go back to what you think we had," I explained. I can't seem to get though to Gale. He is adamant in his belief that our great love affair at 13 was real.

"We've been best friends for a long time," he said. "I've been miserable since we've been apart. I know I am at fault for our ruined relationship. I'm so sorry for Prim. I can't tell how sorry I am. But please believe me. I never had intended for Prim to die when Beetee and I were designing the bomb."

"It wasn't only Prim who died, Gale. You created a bomb that killed hundreds of people," I yelled.

"She wasn't suppose to be there," he yelled back. "It's not my fault that she was there that day. If she had stayed where she was supposed to, she'd still be alive."

"You still don't get it. You designed a bomb to kill people," I explained.

"Just for the Capitol…" he justified himself.

"It doesn't matter if it was Capitol, they were still people, with families and loved ones," I interrupted. "You murdered hundreds of people, just like those in 12."

"It's not the same thing, we were at war," he spat. "There will always be casualties."

"And Prim became one of them," I screamed. We're both hurt and angry. This is why I knew that we would not work together. The war changed him. The games had changed me but it didn't make me angry at the world. My anger was focused on President Snow. Gale never understood that after the first game, I was not the same Katniss he knew. I wanted to believe that the Capitol couldn't control me. I never realized how so much alike we were. Being together angry and spiteful at the world, it would have consumed us. Even if I had never met Peeta, Gale was too much like me. I would have stayed alone, not marrying and not having children. I was too scared. Meeting Peeta changed all that.

"So what happens now, after all the years we supported and protected each other, we're not friends anymore?" he asked.

"Gale, I'm not naïve to think that is all you want from me," I told him. "Too much has happened to me. We would have never worked."

"That's because you never gave us a chance," he reiterated. "I believe in time, you'll be able to forgive me. We are so perfect for each other. I've loved you for a long time and I just never said anything."

"Gale," I whined. This is not what I wanted.

"Please hear me out, you and I have shared so much together. We could have a really great future together. We're a team, Katniss. You just need time and I'm willing to give it to you."

I placed a hand on my forehead wondering if I'm really standing here listening to Gale talk in his delusion of a happily ever after between us. "Gale, my sister is dead, that will always be between us."

"I'm sorry. But tell me truthfully, if she was alive and survived the bomb, would there be anything else between us?" he asked. I remained quiet not knowing how to finally tell him what needed to be said. What I couldn't admit to him, let alone to myself.

"You've got to be kidding me! You're still hung up on Mellark. The guy who wanted you dead after I rescued him for you," he spat in disgust. His hands clenched on his sides. "He's dangerous, Katniss. You'll never be safe with him. He'll end up killing you during his episodes."

"You don't know him, Gale. You never have," I said. I may not have known Peeta as long I have known Gale, but I do know Peeta's heart. I am certain of that.

"Oh but I do, I saw him wrap his hands around your neck and almost killed you. How can you possibly think you can have a future with him. He's a killer."

"And so am I. As a matter of fact, I killed more people with my own hands. So that makes me a killer too," I corrected him.

"He doesn't deserve you," he remarked since he won't admit that I'm right. I have more blood on my hands than anyone, even after Gales' bombs. I incited a whole nation to follow me, to go to war for me.

"You're wrong, it is I who doesn't deserve him," I said. I looked up in sky and realized I should head back home. It's getting dark.

"You just feel sorry for him, Catnip. That's all you're feeling for him," he added. I almost turned around to smack on the face again but thought better of it. I turned to walk away. "I'll wait for you, Katniss. Just like he did, I'll wait until you clear your head and realize we belong together." I ran straight home and locked my front door.

Since my return to District 12, I still have the same nightmares that has haunted me after the rebellion. That night however, I dreamt of Peeta walking ahead of me. I ran after him as fast as I could but I could never catch up to him. I yelled at him to wait for me but he kept on walking. I woke up sweating, my heart beating fast. I wished that Peeta was there beside me, holding me in his arms like he did during the Victory Tour and the Quarter Quell. I missed those nights together. I only thought of us as comrades in need of comfort and support for each other. I denied what he was offering me. I took him for granted. He gave me his heart and never expected anything from me. Johanna was right, Peeta gave me a gift that I threw back to his face, repeatedly. I was just too scared to accept it.

After seeing him with Tamryn at her party, I realized that I want a life with him. I want to stand beside him. I want to love him as he deserved to be loved, and to admit to him that I do want him, all of him. I can no longer deny what has been in front of me all these years. I am in love with Peeta Mellark. The boy who has loved me since he was 5. The boy who saved my life when he threw the burnt bread to me, all those years ago. The same boy who protected and would have died for me during the two arenas. My Boy with the Bread. I just hope that my epiphany isn't too late.


	8. Chapter 8 - The Baker and the Hunter

Chapter 8 – The Baker and the Hunter

_**AN: To my reviewers, an eternal thank you for your comments. They are always appreciated. Any mistakes made in writing this chapter, I blame on my mad caffeine fix. Happy reading and have a great weekend.**_

The night air is cool as I sit on my bed against the headboard. The bedroom window is wide open even though it's freezing outside. It's quiet and the silence unnerves me. Something in the air hovers like a shadow. I tried to clear my mind from the last few days. The task of baking Tamryn's cake almost shattered whatever piece of sanity I had left. The memories of my family and the bakery consumed me with both anger and sadness. My hands trembled as I poured each ingredient into a bowl. Images of the past before the games flashed in my mind gutting me. The urgency to explode was imminent. What saved me from imploding was my promise to Tamryn. I concentrated on her sweet little face as we drew the design to her cake weeks before. Taking deep breaths, I latched on to the memory of her twinkling eyes and smile. My mind also streamed images of a little girl with the same dark hair and steel colored eyes. The Capitol didn't warp those memories. At least I know they were real.

With task completed, I was too exhausted in mind and body to dwell on any recollections of my family. So here I am, tired but relieved that I kept the promise I had made. The wind entering though the window brushed my face. I sniffed the air as a familiar smell surrounded me. The perfume that blew in shocked me to awareness. It is of Katniss. Reminding me the waft of the trees and primroses that clung to her skin after a morning out in the woods. I closed my eyes and prayed that I am not in a middle of another hallucination. My visual delusions were not the only thing that developed during my torture. I had developed olfactory delusions as well. After a nightmare I swore I smelled blood and ash.

"Hey," Katniss whispered as she appeared before me in my bedroom. "I guess you couldn't sleep either." I'm not surprised that she was able to walk into my home undetected. Her steps were always light.

"Real?" I gasped in surprise as my eyes bulged. "Are you real?"

Her brow lifted at my question. "What?" she asked as she approached me and stood by my bed.

"You're here?" I reiterated. "You're real?"

"Yes, I'm real," she answered. "Feel your heart, Peeta." She gestured to herself as she placed a hand on her own chest. I raised my hand and felt my own. My chest was beating fast. "I hope you don't mind, but I couldn't sleep and I saw the light in your room."

"Why can't you sleep?" I asked. It was stupid to ask since I've known. I've always known what haunted her.

"Bad dreams. Nightmares. I still have them," she answered.

"Me too," I admitted. I was all too aware of her presence. She wore a light dressing gown that covered her mid thigh. I gulped feeling my throat constrict. Her unbraided hair is cascading down her shoulders. She was beautiful standing before me, dreamlike and ethereal. She walked towards me and sat down on the edge of the bed. "Actually, I've been thinking about you. I've missed you." One hand was close to my leg as she leaned forward.

I'm speechless. When I decided to return to 12, I knew that whatever chance I had with Katniss was gone. I had to move on with my life even though I lived near her. I had to exorcise my obsession with her but she never lingered far from my mind. So I stayed away. And yet here she appeared always so close but unattainable.

"I'm sorry, Peeta. I'm sorry for everything," she apologized. She placed a finger on my lips, as I was about to speak. She felt cold from the cool air. "I'm not good with words so maybe I'll should just show you what I can't say." She placed her lips on mine. They felt soft and cool against my own. I whimpered as her lips left mine. "Is this okay?" she asked as her hand cupped my cold check.

'_Real, real,'_ my mind chanted as I prayed that she was here in my room. I blinked my eyes several times. She laughed. "I'm here, Peeta. Real," she quipped. "I know that we need to talk but can't we just…" she said with shy smile as she took my hand in hers. This is the Katniss I never knew. Shy, vulnerable and unsure of herself. "I haven't been able to sleep well since the Victory Tour. You make my nightmares go away."

"You want to sleep here?" I asked. "With me." She nodded her head with a pleading look in her eyes. Without any hesitation, I lifted my blanket and gestured her to join me. Smiling, she took off her robe and slipped next to me. She shivered from the chilly air as a gust of wind passed through my window. "It's too cold for you. I'll go close the window." I'm nervous and stupefied that she has come to me. It's been so long since I had held her in my arms. I got out of bed when I noticed my prosthetic leg leaning against my nightstand. I looked down to see that I am standing on my bare feet. Both feet. I lurched over as if someone has punched me in the gut.

"Peeta, what's wrong?" Katniss cried out in concern as she gets on her knees to reach for me. I backed away.

"Not real," I wailed as I begin to sway. "Not real."

I woke sitting up on my bed as reached down to feel for my leg. It was a dream, Katniss in my bedroom kissing me. It felt real. I dropped backwards and sighed. I looked around my room; the lights are off, my window closed and I am hidden in darkness. Some nights I dreamt that I am home with my family at the bakery. Other times, I'm with Katniss in the train during the Victory Tour. I dreamt of rare moments when I was happy. Those dreams were rare and a few. My nightmares consisted of killing Katniss over and over. There is a battle inside me that fights for what I know and what I feel. My love for Katniss will always be real and true but I know that what she felt for me was never real. Now, I have too many mental and physical scars. Whatever dreams I had of having a normal and happy life will never come to fruition. I have nothing to offer but a broken heart and mind. And that is what I had to accept.

My days are filled with mindless errands and routines. I wake up, tend my garden, eat, sleep (if I can) and repeat. One day a week I call Dr. Aurelius for a forty-five minute session. Our parley together are a retelling of my mundane routine, and spewing emotional vomit that exhausted me physically and mentally. After my session Johanna or Delly had to walk me to my bed where I sleep for the rest of the day. All in all, it's embarrassing and humiliating. I am forever grateful for my roommate's patience and tolerance of my mood swings and sullen behavior. Knowing that this cannot go on forever and after much prodding, I convinced them that they had to go on with their lives. So Delly found work at the new Medical Clinic in town. As for Johanna, she left to go back to 7 stating that she would return after she had taken care of unfinished business.

Today, my anxiety level is at its' peak. Greasy Sae called me and asked if I could pick up Tamryn from school. She is helping a midwife deliver a neighbor's baby and cannot pick up her granddaughter. I said yes not realizing the impact the decision would affect me. I am standing in the middle of a schoolyard with several women gawking and whispering around me. The topic of conversation? It's probably me.

The attitude in town towards me took a turn since my return. There are only a handful of former residents who had survived the bombing. Where I was once welcomed home, I am now shunned by the new community. The new residents didn't appreciate the traitor from District 12 living amongst them.

Soon, the dismissal bell rings. I craned my neck to watch for Tamryn since she doesn't know I am here to pick her up. I smiled as soon as she recognized me.

"Peeta!" she shrieked so loud that everyone turned to watch us. I crouched down to hug her since I'm still uncomfortable of her hugging my prosthetic leg. "What are you doing here?"

"You're grandma is busy so she asked me to come and get you," I answered.

"That's so cool," she gushed as she grabbed my hand. "Come on, I want to show you my drawing I made at school today." The whispers and gossiping continued as we left the schoolyard hand in hand.

I don't know whether it's just me being paranoid but as we walked back home I felt that someone was watching us. I kept my face neutral as not to alarm Tamryn. I felt a prickling in the back of my neck. I could no longer hold back the fear I felt not for me but for Tamryn. I remembered the conversation I had with Dr. Aurelius when he informed me of the threat against my life. The media, stalkers and groupies were common fixtures in our lives after becoming Victors and the Star Crossed Lovers. It was most apparent when Katniss and I visited the Capitol during the Victory Tour. Our experience taught me vigilance.

After a couple of yards, I turned to look and discovered a figure walking behind us. As I watched him approached us. I turned to Tamryn, "Go run home, Tamryn. Go ahead of me, and go to Mr. Abernathy's," I ordered.

"Why, Peeta?" she asked as she looked around her. She was frightened.

"Just be a good girl and do as I say, go now and don't stop until you get to Mr. Abernathy's house," I commanded leaving no room for an argument. She took off not looking behind her. I focused my eyes making sure that what's in front of me was real. He looked the same like he did at the train station wearing all black. His uniform and facial hair made him looked older and more mature than his 20 years. However, he was still the brooding, sullen and angry classmate I remembered back before the games.

"What do you want, Gale?" I asked.

"Shouldn't you be in house arrest or something?" he commented as a sneer appeared on his face.

"I'm home like you, Gale. It's a free country," I remarked. He inched towards me.

"They should have kept you in solitary confinement far away from people. You are a danger to society, especially to Katniss," he said as he placed his hand on his Taser gun.

"Katniss can take of herself, or haven't you noticed. She been doing that for a long time," I reminded him. I felt my pulse beat faster. I looked at my wristband and noticed that it was still green. Gale noticed my gesture as he too looked at the band.

"You not good enough for her, you never have been. Now, you're a danger to her. You should stay away from Katniss," he barked as his anger rose. I knew he had a mean temper and was quick to anger when provoked. I remembered an incident in school when he got into a fistfight over a comment one of the merchant classmate said to him one day. Gale reacted quick and decisive as he pummeled him with his fist. He was suspended for 3 days.

I am well aware that Gale is taunting me. I took a deep breath to calm my nerves. I didn't want to have another episode in front of him.

"I'm heading home, Gale. You should do the same," I said as I turned to walk to away. I took two steps.

"You're a pussy, Mellark. You hide behind your calm and peaceful demeanor when you're nothing but a coward and pussy," he spat.

I turned to him. "And what about you, Gale. You think that throwing insults at me makes you better than me. Is name calling all that you can do? I fought bigger and stronger people than you. I survived the Capitol. You maybe bigger and taller than me, and all you're insults and taunting just make you a bully."

"Fight me, you pussy. Or did the Capitol take your balls too?" he spewed as spit flew from his mouth. He took a step and shoved me hard that I fell on the ground falling on my back. I stood up as fast as I could. He charged at me and I stepped aside to avoid any contact from him.

"I don't want to fight you, Gale," I said with bated breath.

"Fight me, Mellark," he spat. I turned to walk away. My gesture only fueled his anger towards me. "Don't turn you back at me, you coward.

Again, he charged at me that I took the advantage with a move I learned from my wrestling days. For a moment, we grappled together until I had him face down on the ground and one arm behind his back. I pined him down with his other arm trapped beneath him and my other arm wrapped around his neck.

"Stop moving or I'll break your neck," I said. He struggled for a moment. "I said stop moving," I ordered as he strained to free himself. He stopped when we hear a voice cut the air.

"Peeta," Katniss screamed as she ran towards us. I let go of Gale and stood up away from him. "Peeta." She ran straight to my arms that I had to anchor my legs from falling backwards. She searched my face and head, touching my face with her hands. "Are you hurt?"

"He attacked me Katniss," Gale screamed as he stood off the ground glaring at us.

"Don't lie to me, I saw everything, Gale. He was walking away when you charged at him," she yelled back at him. "Get the hell away from him, I swear if you hurt him, I'll kick your ass."

"You have to get away from him, Catnip. He's still unstable. Who knows when he'll have an episode and kill you," Gale voiced his concern. "I'm only looking out for you."

"I can take care of myself," she spat. "I don't need you to watch over me." She stood between Gale and me her hands clenched at her sides.

"Someone has to. You're not thinking straight. What is it going to take for you to realize that Mellark is dangerous," he uttered then spat, "I swear you're just as bad as his groupies back in the Capitol. Why don't you just fuck him already and get it out of your system."

Both Katniss and I gasped from the vile spewing out of Gale's mouth. She pulled her arm back and punched him in his already bruised face. "You're an asshole," Katniss bellowed. I reached and grabbed Katniss' arm and held her back. "Stay away from Peeta, I mean it."

"Katniss, I'm just trying to protect you from him," he pleaded.

"I don't need you to protect me. Just get that into your thick skull," she screamed.

"Katniss, where's Tamryn?" I interrupted trying to relieve the tension in the air. "What are you doing here?"

"She's fine. I saw her running to Haymitch but he wasn't home. So she came to me," she explained. "I left her at my house. You're sure you're not hurt?"

"I'm fine," I answered. "Calm down, everything is okay." She looked relieved. "I gotta go, Tamryn is probably scared," I turned and walked away.

"I'll go with you, there nothing for me here," she added as followed me home without a backwards glance to Gale.

I walked as fast as I could back to the Victor's Village. I twisted my prosthetic leg from the fall but I didn't mention it to Katniss. Pain radiated from my leg with each step I took. I just ignored it. As we reached her home, Tamryn ran from the house and greeted us with a frightened look in her face.

"Peeta, you're alright? I was so scared," she bawled. I picked her up and walked inside Katniss' home. She sobbed in my arms for a while not letting go. Katniss made hot chocolate to soothe her. It was the first time that I had been inside her home. It felt odd being there not seeing Prim or her mother. I wondered how she managed to stay in a house filled with ghosts.

Tamryn clung to me all afternoon, never leaving my side. She got tired from crying and fell asleep so we left her in the living room sofa. Katniss caught my grimace as I stood up and walked into her dining room to stretch my legs.

"So not that the emergency is over, you want to tell me the truth?" she questioned as her brow lifted. She pointed to my leg.

"It's nothing, Katniss. I just twisted it when I fell," I said as I rubbed the upper portion of my leg. "I'm all right."

"You didn't fall, Peeta. You were pushed to the ground," she spat in response. "I don't know what the hell is wrong with him."

"He has every right to be concerned," I admitted as I turned away.

"No, he doesn't. I don't see him for months and suddenly he wants to play hero. I was fine without him," she said in a bitter tone. "I don't need anyone to take care of me."

"That's apparent," I whispered as I sat down on a chair and closed my eyes.

"Peeta?" Katniss asked.

I opened my eyes to see anger replaced with a worried look on her face. "I should head home," I said as I stood up only to fall back down from fatigue. Katniss laid a hand on my arm to steady me.

"You look beat. Why don't you stay until Sae calls and have dinner with Tamryn and me? Besides, she might freak if she wakes up to find you gone," she advised. Too tired to argue I agreed. Dinner was calm and relaxing. Having Tamryn between us made the situation bearable.

By the time Sae came to pick her up she was tired and it was late. Katniss offered to let them stay over for the night. I said my goodnight to Sae and Tamryn and I turned to leave when Katniss called out to me. "I'll walk you back home, Peeta." She walked to her closet to put on her jacket.

"It's not necessary, Katniss," I fired back. I didn't want her to go with me. I had reason not to.

"I'm coming," she argued as she walked out the door. I followed behind her. I couldn't prevent what would happen next. She walked up my porch and faced me. "I know why you didn't want me to walk you home." She turned and picked up white rose sitting in front of my door. "Were you ever going to tell me about this?"

I turned my head not knowing what to say to her. It was my problem not hers. "I didn't want anyone to know," I admitted.

"I'm not anyone. Haymitch told me what's been happening at the Capitol during your recovery," she said. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"First off, it wasn't his business to tell you," I added as I felt a tinge of anger surfacing. "And second, I resent him for talking to you about my business."

"Why, Peeta?" she voiced as I heard the hurt in her tone. "Why keep this from me?"

"It's my business. I can take care of it myself," I said. I took the rose away from her. "Go home, Katniss. This doesn't involve you." I saw the hurt look in her eyes. "I mean, I don't want you to get involved." I walked inside my home hoping that she would leave me alone. I turned to close my door but she placed a hand from shutting it on her.

"We protect each other, Peeta. We have since the reaping," she reminded me. Something caught her attention as her eyes bulged when she looked behind me. She pushed through my door and walked straight into my living room. On the walls were 'Killer' and 'Traitor' spelled out in upper case and in blood red. On my coffee table were a dozen white roses in a crystal vase.

The air grew thick around me. My mind flashed with memories of my torture and abuse. I heard screams in my head.

"Peeta?" she queried as I turned my back on her. I didn't want her to see me fall apart. "Are you okay?" She placed a hand on my back.

"You need to leave," I said as I gritted my teeth. My band remained green so I knew I was not experiencing an episode. I was assaulted of images that will be forever etched in my mind. "I'm fine. Just please leave me alone."

"I can't. I won't," she said as she stood her ground. "I've left you alone too long."

"I don't need a keeper. You don't have to pretend anymore. The games are over and I have accepted that what we had wasn't real," I said as I sat on my sofa. My head began to throb.

"I'm not pretending and I'm not leaving you alone," she demanded. I remained quiet. "Regardless of what happened between us, all the pretending and all the lies, we still protected each other. That was real."

I knew she was stubborn. I didn't want her pity or feel obligated to me. So I fought back with the one argument she couldn't dispute. "Just leave. Gale was right, you're not safe with me anymore."

She opened her mouth to argue but we both heard a gasp that interrupted us. Delly stood at the entryway with a hand covering her mouth, "Peeta, what happened? Who did this?" she asked. "Katniss, what are you doing here?" She fired questions I couldn't answer fast enough when she gasped again noticing the white roses on the coffee table. "Peeta, are you okay?"

"I'm okay, Delly. We just got here ourselves," I answered. "I'm just glad that neither you and Johanna were here when this happened."

My eyes were unfocused as my head ached. "Thank you for walking me home, Katniss, but I think we should call it a night. It's been a long day." I turned and ran up the stairs.

The next day I repainted my walls. Katniss offered to help but I refused it. I can't have her anywhere around me. Anyone close to me would be in danger. A few days later Johanna returned to 12. She was livid that I didn't tell her about the graffiti and the roses when she called days before.

"Peeta, do not ever keep anything from me. We have gone though so much together, if I was to lose you now to some creep, I'll kill you myself," she seethed.

"How do you think I would feel if you or Delly, or anyone got hurt because of me? I can't…I won't be able to live with myself," I said. "It's best that you and Delly find somewhere else to live. Maybe you both should go back to 7."

"You're stupid if you think you can do this on your own," she added. "So far, all he's done is break into your house and leave a message. The next time, you might not be so lucky."

"I think that's a good enough reason for you and Delly to leave," I insisted.

"You really are out of your mind if you think I'm leaving you alone," she fired back. "I agree that Delly needs to go, but I'm staying with you and I will not hear anymore discussion about it."

"If you stay, so will Delly," I alleged. "I can't have her stay here."

"I'll talk to Delly," she said. "You and I, we're in this together. You'd do the same for me. I've never forgotten, Peeta. How you took care of Annie and me at the Capitol. Let me do the same for you."

A couple of days later, Delly moved to another home in the Victor's Village. Johanna had petitioned to live in one of the other empty houses. It wasn't official but with the circumstances, Delly moved into Johanna's home temporarily. She protested and screamed at us. I gave her no choice. I couldn't stand to lose another person in my life.

* * *

><p><strong>Katniss POV –<strong>

When I came home after the rebellion, I didn't have a lot to pack. Whatever clothing I had was either District 13 gray or the Mockingjay suit. Neither of which I wanted to take with me. I wore pants, shirt and jacket when I was dropped off at the train station. Haymitch carried a travel bag and my bow that I used during the rebellion. He dropped off both items as soon as I entered my home in the Victor's Village. I had forgotten about the bag and its' contents. I found it lying in the bottom of my hallway closet. Curiosity won me over as I looked inside. Besides a pair of socks, pants, shirt and underwear, I found two items I had thought was lost or destroyed during the Quarter Quell; the locket and pearl that Peeta gave me at the beach. How both had survived I will never know. The pearl was in my pocket in my wetsuit while I wore the locket before Peeta and I separated that night.

I clutched the locket in my trembling hands. It was tarnished and beaten from the explosion. With all the courage I could muster, I pried the locket open to find my mother, Prim and Gale's pictures in great condition. I sobbed as I gazed at Prim's photo. I will have to ask Peeta how he obtained the photos of my mother and Prim. How he also managed to get Gale's is beyond me. I cringed as I look at the image of my old hunting partner and best friend. The Gale I now know is someone foreign to me. With his facial hair, it made him look older and sophisticated, not the miner's son who hunted besides me during the hardest times of my life. I miss that Gale, not the Gale I see now with his new job and disposition. The new Gale is confident, hard and bitter. It was unrealistic for me to think that the war didn't change all of us.

Gale and Peeta. One is night as the other is day.

I think that between the two, the one that changed the most is Gale. Beyond the torture of both body and mind, I know deep inside that Peeta is still the Boy with the Bread. I see it in his eyes and in the tone of his voice. I want and need that Peeta to move forward in my life.

Gale was wrong when he said that I would choose the one I couldn't survive without. I could survive without Peeta. I survived without my mother's love and guidance. I survived without love because I didn't know what love was all about. The only example I had was with my parents. When my dad died, a part of my mother died too. I thought that's what love did to people. I was wrong. I could survive and live without Gale. Surviving without Peeta is one thing, but to live without him, I know I couldn't. Not only do I need him in my life, I know that I can't live without him. I haven't been living before he entered my life. Peeta is the sun that breaks through a dark rainstorm. He is the ray of light in the middle of darkness.

It hurts knowing that I know longer have his regard, his affection. What I shunned due to my ignorance pains me. Is this how he felt each time he reached out to me in friendship and love? How he endured this feeling for so long attested to his complete devotion and fidelity. I have to get it back. I need to.

After the incident, Haymitch and I spoke in great depth of what must be done to protect Peeta. I know that Peeta denying my help was out of concern for my welfare. I just need to find a way to convince him that we need each other, to protect each other. Just like we did during the games.

I'm sitting in my room when I hear Delly screaming as she ran out of Peeta's house. I rushed out my front door.

"Where the hell have you been, Peeta?" she screeched as he walked up to his front steps holding a brown paper bag. Both are oblivious to my presence.

"I went into town for some groceries," he answered as he gestured to the bag in his arms.

"By yourself? What's wrong with you?" she yelled.

"Delly, I'm capable enough to go to town by myself without a bodyguard," he said.

"We all agreed that you would not go anywhere without one of us going with you, especially if you're going into town," she exclaimed.

"No, you and Johanna agreed," he smirked. "I'm not going to be a prisoner in my own home just because some psycho painted graffiti in my house."

"You're not taking the threat to your life seriously," she added.

"Oh, I am taking it seriously, Delly. I'll be ready," he disagreed as he gestured to a knife sheathed in his waist belt. Delly stared at the knife.

"Peeta, where did you get that?" she asked in shock. He kept quiet for a moment. "Never mind I know who. I can't believe she gave that to you. What are you doing, Peeta?"

"I'm protecting myself," he answered as he moved to walk inside his home.

"No, you trying to get yourself killed," she sobbed. "If something happens to you, I don't know what I'll do." Delly grabbed him in a tight hug. They stood together in an embrace while he whispered into her ear. A minute later, she nodded her head as they both headed inside the house.

I am shocked and paralyzed to what I have witnessed. Was I so oblivious that I didn't realize that something had developed between Delly and Peeta? How long has this been going on? When did this happen? My stomach sunk as new feelings surfaced. Feelings I had never felt before. Rage and jealousy. I am so crazed and distraught that I didn't realize I was standing outside of Haymitch's door until he opened it.

"What's wrong, sweetheart? You look like you've seen a ghost," he said with a surprised look on his face. I pushed myself into his house without an invitation. I walked over to his liquor cabinet and took a long swig of his coveted Winter's Solstice. I chocked as the bitter liquor hit my throat and burned my eyes.

"Hey, watch it that's my last bottle until the next delivery," Haymitch hollered as he took the bottle away from my grasp. "Now, you sit over there and tell me what's got you into a tizzy that you would raid my cabinet without so much of a hello and ado."

"Peeta and Delly," I answered as I tried to hold the tears from falling. Bile rose from my stomach. _'This can't be happening. Not now,'_ I thought to myself.

"Peeta and Delly?" he said dumbstruck. "Yeah, what about them?"

"They're together," I sobbed as I covered my face with my hands.

"Together as in living together? I thought she moved out and is living next to you," he said. He still wasn't getting it that I had to spell it out.

"No, they're together as in…boyfriend and girlfriend," I choked. The pain in my chest grew with each word I spoke, stifling me.

Haymitch looked at me for a mere second then laughed. A loud belly laugh. Here I am in his home, confessing my pain and heartache and what is he doing? He's laughing at me.

"Oh, Katniss, we really need to work on your self-image," he said after composing himself. "What makes you think that they're together like that?"

"I just saw them outside his house. You should have seen her face when she thought he was missing," I said. "The way they are with each other. I didn't see it."

"You do know that they're best friend and she's been taking care of him at the hospital during his recovery, right?" he stated. I couldn't face him or believe him. "They're just friends, Katniss. Close friends. Like you and Gale."

"I never looked at Gale the way Delly looked at Peeta just now," I whimpered.

"You're seeing things that's not there, sweetheart," he said. "You're just torturing yourself."

"What if it's too late? What if Peeta has finally given up on me?" I whined at the realization. This feeling hurt more than anything I have every known.

"For as long as I've known him, Katniss. What he has always felt for you has never waivered. I don't believe for one minute that he's over you. I believe that he loves you more than he ever has. He's just to afraid to," he confessed.

"How do you know?" I asked, needing the assurance from him.

"Even in his broken and hijacked mind, he came back to 12. He could have gone anywhere. He came back here, Katniss. To you," he smiled at me.

"You think so?" I asked as I wiped the tears from eyes.

"I know so, like I know that the sun rises in the east," Haymitch nodded as he handed me a tissue to blow my nose.

"That's sappy even for you. So what do I do?" I queried.

"Now, what you're going to do is be patient with him and give him time," he recommended. His advise for me was easier said than done. But what else can I do, but be patient and wait as he suggested. "So, are you ready for dinner this evening?"

I was so distressed I had forgotten that Delly had arranged a dinner party at Peeta's house. This time it's an adult party with no kids and liquor being served. It was a mini celebration of sorts. Delly had just accepted a new job in town and Johanna's application as resident of 12 was approved. Thus revealing her unfinished business she had mentioned before leaving District 12. I had asked Delly if I should bring something for dinner. Delly rejected my offer. She advised me to look pretty and find the opportunity to spend time with Peeta. Bless her heart, she was providing the time I needed to bond with Peeta. I wished I had remembered that before I had my meltdown with Haymitch. It would have saved me a world of embarrassment and humiliation. Still, my conversation with him was reassuring and it gave me the courage to pursue Peeta.

I looked forward to the get together just as long as Johanna does not confront me. My attempt to see or speak to Peeta has been thwarted by Johanna's interference. She still hasn't forgiven or talked to me since the incident at the train station. This, however, won't stop me from spending time with him.

My preparation for this evening didn't take as along as the first time. I had a little help from Effie again. She sent me a nice blue dress that matched Peeta's eyes. It was simple and comfortable. Soon I found myself in front of another door. I felt queasy and excited at the thought of spending a few hours with Peeta. I hoped that Johanna didn't answer the door. To my relief Delly yanked the door open.

"Katniss, come on in," she gestured with her head as she pulled my arm. "Haymitch just got here a few minutes ago." I greeted Haymitch who held a glass of liquor in his hand and grunted back at me. "Please make yourself comfortable. I'll be right back." Delly left the room leaving Haymitch and I alone. He gazed at me and smirked.

"Ready for battle, Katniss?" he snickered. I smiled back as he gestured a thumbs up in my direction.

The smell of fresh paint lingered in the air as I remembered the words painted on the walls. I looked around to see if Peeta was anywhere in site when he appeared walking out of the kitchen with an apron around his waist. For a moment I saw a glimpse of the Boy with Bread. He looked shy and handsome as ever.

"Hey, Peeta," I greeted him. I was nervous all of a sudden. "Whatever you're cooking smells wonderful."

"Hi, Katniss. We're having Beef Burgundy. Delly cooked so if you get sick it's not my fault," he quipped. Delly hits him in the arm as she rounded the corner.

"I heard that," she said. "Don't pay attention to him. I'm a great cook." I looked at Peeta and Delly. I envied the ease and friendship between them. An image of Gale flashed in my mind. I shook it away acknowledging that my friendship with him was gone forever. What he wanted from me, I never could give him. It was something I never felt for him. After a moment of awkward silence, Delly bantered, "Doesn't Katniss look beautiful, Peeta?" She nudged him.

I blushed as I realized that Peeta was staring at me. I saw a look of longing in his eyes that faded away. A look I hadn't seen since the Victory Tour. Maybe Haymitch was right, there is still hope for us.

"You look lovely, Katniss," Peeta complimented me. He wore a dark green shirt and brown pants. I wondered if he remembered that green was my favorite color. The moment was broken as Johanna entered the room.

"Hey, now that everyone is here, can we eat already? I'm starving," Johanna announced. She looked at me for a moment. "Hey Katniss." For this evening, she wasn't attired in her usual black clothes. She wore a simple dark green knee length dress with dark black boots while Delly wore a light pink dress that suited her personality.

"Johanna, congratulations with your new residency at 12," I said as I walked to the dining area. She nodded her head in thanks.

The meal was delicious as the company was enjoyable. Delly was right, she was a wonderful cook. Peeta was subdued throughout dinner. Haymitch didn't talk much as Delly and Johanna dominated the topic of conversation. Delly loved her new job as a resident nurse at the Medical Clinic while Johanna spoke of the tension and riots that still prevailed in Districts 4, 6 and 9. It was a discussion I thought wasn't appropriate for a dinner party. Effie would have agreed with me. But, I didn't care because I sat next to Peeta during dinner. His presence soothed me.

"You know what I don't understand? Why is Gale still here in 12 when he should be containing the riots?" Johanna asked. I caught Peeta's reaction to Gale's name being mentioned in the conversation. He flinched and closed his eyes for a second.

"Hazelle is bringing her family back to 12 and Gale is preparing for their arrival and housing," Haymitch added. "I heard a rumor that he's trying to make 12 his permanent resident."

"Doesn't his job restrict him to District 2?" Johanna wondered. "That's where the New Guardsmen offices are located."

"Doesn't matter what he wants, it'll never happen," Haymitch interrupted. We all looked at him to explain further. "Even if he wanted to set up shop in 12, he can't. No hovercrafts are allowed in District 12 and he needs them for transportation to get to the other districts. So he can request and demand all he wants. Paylor will never agree to it." I remembered his deal with Paylor and what it entailed. I wondered if he mentioned it to Peeta. "Besides, Gale will be gone in a few days."

I sighed as I glimpsed at Peeta. He had a blank look on his face. Johanna was relieved and Delly was nonchalant. I guess Gale didn't endear himself with this crowd.

"Hey, what's with the doom and gloom? It's time for cake," Delly announced at she stood up to retrieve the long anticipated confection. It was a simple one layer chocolate cake with vanilla bean frosting. The cake was moist and delicious and the frosting creamy and smooth. "This is delicious, Delly," I said as I took another bite.

"Don't thank me, it's all Peeta. He hovered and bossed me around all afternoon," she smiled at him in appreciation. "Putting it together was not hard, but icing it was a challenge." I guess baking Tamryn's cake was a one-time deal. It didn't matter.

"It's still wonderful. You two did a great job," I added.

"It's marvelous, Delly," Johanna said as stuffed a large piece in her mouth. After two pieces later and stuffed stomachs, we sat in the living room for coffee. Haymitch walked over to Peeta's kitchen and opened a cabinet revealing a bottle of Winter's Solstice in his hand.

"You dog, I thought you said that you couldn't get another bottle until the next delivery," Johanna beamed a smile at Haymitch.

"Got one for this house so you won't be taking a swig of mine, Mason," he snickered as he poured the rare liquid in five glasses. "I like to make a toast. To a new era in Panem and a new beginning for everyone."

We all raised our glass and toasted each other. "To new beginnings," I repeated as I looked at Peeta. Our eyes met for a second. His crystal blue eyes mesmerized me. I long to stare at his eyes for the rest of my life. Our moment was broken as Johanna grabbed the bottle and gave another toast.

The night continued with good humor as Haymitch told stories of Johanna as a young victor. "I mean, all I saw was this skinny girl with long black hair wearing nothing but her skivvies running after Finnick with a very large axe," he laughed. "He learned a very important lesson that day. Never play a prank on Johanna while she's sleeping." Haymitch's eyes twinkled from the memory.

"Yeah, we became best buds that day. We even swore to get tattoos together, but he chickened out the last minute confessing that he was delicate and was scared of needles," Johanna guffawed. "Big, strong and manly Finnick was scared of a needle."

"I only met Finnick once when he showed up at the infirmary after they rescued Peeta, Johanna and Annie from the Capitol," Delly recollected. "He was so sweet with Annie. I couldn't believe he was the same Finnick I saw during the games." She sighed. "Then, the next day he turned up and started to flirt with me. I wanted to slap him on the face." We all laughed. "He was such a character."

"That's Finnick, the charmer. I miss him," Johanna voiced. The doorbell rang interrupting our celebration. Peeta walked to his door and looked down to find a large white box with big white box wrapped around it.

"This was left in front of the door," he said as he carried the box inside the house. He placed it in front of him.

"I don't see a card. Maybe you have a secret admirer." Delly teased. I felt my stomach dropped. Peeta peeled the large bow from the box and lifted the cover. The smell of roses filled the air. Inside the box was a white formal suit covered by a dozen roses. It was the suit that Peeta wore during his interview with Caesar Flickerman. Peeta's face turned pale as Delly reached out to hug him. I took his cold and clammy hand into mine. Enraged, Johanna took the box and flung across the room.

"What the fuck! Who the hell is this guy?" she roared as she ran to the front door. "Come out you coward." She yelled into the dark night. "Face Peeta like a man, you shit." She turned around, slammed the door and walked back into the living room. "We have to find this guy. We have to find him so I can throw an axe in his face. Where's my fucking axe when I need it?" Her face was red and her breathing harsh. She looked at Peeta. "I'm sorry, Peeta."

He gazed at her for moment before he placed a hand on his mouth and ran up the stairs into his bathroom, locking the door. The sound of retching filled the air and running water a few minutes later. When he came back down the stairs we're all in the middle of a conversation that we didn't notice his presence.

"I know Peeta, Haymitch. He's not going to leave 12. This is his home. He's not going to runaway," Delly said.

"Well, he can't stay here. This isn't a secure place," he stated. "He can get to Peeta at anytime."

"Haymitch, it wouldn't matter where he went. His life is in danger wherever he goes. It's best that he stays her. We can protect him here," I added. I couldn't bear to have him leave when I couldn't watch his back.

"You're damn right he's not going anywhere. We're going to hunt this asshole down," Johanna cried out with venom in her voice.

"Johanna, stop saying things like that, you're scaring me," Delly sniffled.

"What!? It's the truth. It's the only way for Peeta to be safe. We need to go after him when he least expects it," Johanna stated. "Get to him first."

"And how are going to do that?" I asked, frustrated and scared for Peeta. "We don't have any idea who he is? Where do we start?"

"You're doing no such thing. What we need to do is set a trap. Have Peeta call him out of hiding," Haymitch suggested.

"No way," Johanna refused.

"You'd put Peeta in harms way?" I shrieked. Delly sobbed by my side, speechless.

"Why don't all of you ask me what I want?" Peeta screamed at us. We all turned to him in shock. He was beyond angry. He was white as a ghost and his eyes blazed with heat as his hands shook.

"We're just talking, Peeta," Haymitch said as he shrank from Peeta's angry gaze.

"You're all talking about me, like I'm not here. Like I don't have a mind of own to decide what's best for me. I shouldn't be surprised. You…" He pointed at Haymitch. "You look me straight in the eye and lie to me. You make deals without my consent. You talk behind me back. Making decisions and plans with her." He then pointed to me with an accusing tone. "You did it during the games and you're still doing now. Stop treating me like I'm some idiot."

"Peeta, you need to calm down," Delly interjected as she stood up and placed a hand on his arm. He retracted his arm from her touch.

"I'm sick and tired of everyone talking over me, about me and making decisions for me. It's insulting. You making decisions for me just put me and anyone around me danger." I recalled his anger when I revealed what I had hidden from him and Haymitch in District 11. Lives were lost with my omission during the Victory Tour.

"Peet, we're just talking," Johanna defended. Peeta glared at her. "We wouldn't have done anything without your input."

"They had been lying to me and making plans without me since the games," Peeta sneered. "It's like I'm not a real person who mattered. Like I have no voice or my opinions don't matter."

"That's not true, Peeta," I whimpered. Is that what he thought and felt all this time?

"How would you like it if someone lies to you all the time. Pretend that they listen to you while they're making plans behind your back. Well, all the games, the pretending, the decision making without me is going to stop," he roared. "This is my life all of you are fucking with." He stopped as his breathing became impaired. He placed a hand on his chest as he looked into his wristband. "And if you can't, you can all get the hell out of my house. Get out of my life while you're at it."

We are all stunned into silence. Delly placed an arm over Peeta's shoulder. They walked to the sofa and sat down. He was angry and trying not to cry. He was trying to hold himself together. Peeta was right. Both Haymitch and I talked about the threat to his life right after the graffiti incident. We never approached him or consulted him of what we should do.

I sat next to him. His hands trembled as I took his into mine. "You're right, Peeta. I'm sorry. We all are."

"I'm sorry too, Peet," Haymitch added. "It's a habit I developed through my years as a mentor. I don't mean any disrespect."

"You have to stop treating me like some innocent boy who needs protection. I know that all of you care and are worried. I really appreciate it. Just stop talking behind my back. Talk to me," Peeta said as he leaned over to Delly's shoulder and closed his eyes. I felt jealous that he sought her comfort and not with me. I watched as she took his left wrist and checked on his wristband. I remembered the conversation I had with Haymitch explaining the devise and its purpose. Delly sighed when she noticed it was green but nearing yellow.

"Just breath, Peeta. Clear your mind. Take deep breaths," she said in soothing tone. Peeta responded and a few breaths later, he calmed down. When he looked up his eyes were sad and weary.

"Peeta, just remember one thing. We all care about you and we want to help. You're not alone," I reminded him. "We are all in this together. All of us." I squeezed his hand in assurance.

Throughout the games I was distrustful and resentful of those around me. My faith in humanity was nonexistent. I trusted and lived for Prim. Only she mattered to me. When Peeta entered my life, I couldn't trust what he offered. I looked at the people around me. This is my family now. We are broken and weathered but we are also resilient. Delly is ever faithful, Johanna is loyal to a fault, Haymitch is reliable and Peeta is… There are not enough words to describe him, but the Boy with the Bread even after being altered by the Capitol.

That night Haymitch and I left Peeta's home in a somber mood. The next few days were tense and nerve wracking. We never spoke of Peeta's meltdown and carried on as if it never happened. I now know I have much work to do in order to have Peeta's love, trust and faith in me restored. The end result will be worth it. He's worth. I was surprised when he showed up on my doorstep and asked me to accompany him to town. We walked together in silence and ease as we enjoyed each other's company without any angst or drama. It was a baby step. To my relief, I heard that Gale had left a few days ago returning to District 2. His job as 1st Guardsmen demanded it. The community watched us as we walked into town together. The Star Crossed Lovers were once again the topic of town gossip. I didn't care. I walked beside him with a huge smile on my face.

* * *

><p><strong>Peeta POV – <strong>

Then next morning after Delly's dinner party, I woke up as if I had a hangover. To say that I was embarrassed for my outburst the night before was an understatement. I was jolted from my thoughts as Johanna appeared in my bedroom.

"Hey, Peeta. It's close to noon. It's time you got up," she said. "Tea is ready downstairs."

"Thanks, Johanna. Hey, about what happened last night…" I started. She brought her hand up.

"No need to explain, Peeta. No apologies necessary," she added as turned and left the room. One thing you can rely on Johanna is her deep understanding of anger and how it affects you. I remembered the days and nights of her angry screams during her torture. After one of her beatings she had confessed to me that anger fueled her and had kept her alive. But it also festered and rotted her soul. She kept people at a distance. She told me to stay true to who I am and never let the Capitol change me like they had changed her. I had promised her that I would try, but the hijacking changed me in so many other ways. Still, my nature to protect the people I care about hasn't altered me. And I surprised myself when I asked Katniss to accompany me to town. I felt guilty for screaming at her days before. I can tell that she was pleased with my request, but I kept her at bay from my heart. Reaching out to her again to have her pity me after all this time, I couldn't bear it. I still don't know what is real when it came to her feelings for me. I don't have the energy and mental strength to pursue it.

Johanna confronted me after my walk with Katniss.

"Did you have a nice walk into town with Katniss?" she asked, as her face displayed no emotion of anger or resentment.

"It was okay. Just the same old curiosity about the Star Crossed Lovers in District 12," I commented. "They kept their distance even though we knew they were talking about us."

"How do you feel about that?" she queried as she crossed her arms and forehead furrowed.

"Everyone adores Katniss. She's the Mockingjay that freed Panem from the Capitol. I'm just the guy who betrayed her. The guy she forgave," I said. "Not all of Panem has forgiven me for my 'betrayal.' You're a witness to that," I mentioned. "What I did in the Capitol will be written down in history as her lover who betrayed Katniss during the rebellion. It will never be forgotten."

"We know the truth, Peeta. That's all that matters," Johanna stated. "And what they know is just out of ignorance. Not everyone believes that," she argued.

"Public opinion will always matter when it comes to us Victors, you know that, Johanna," he corrected. "It affect us on how we make decisions and how we live our lives. They're entitled to have it just as long as it doesn't dictate our lives."

You're a good man, Peeta. Even with everything you've been through, Katniss is lucky to have you," she said.

"She doesn't have me, not the way you think," I corrected.

"She would if you let yourself," she encouraged.

"I'm not going there, Johanna. I've been there so many times to only be disappointed," I said.

"She's trying, Peeta. Everyone can see it. She's changed," she implied. "Even I can admit that."

"I've changed too," I said. My confidence is shot and my courage diminished. Besides, love is in the bottom of my list of priorities.

All afternoon, my mind swirled with thoughts of my stalker. What is his endgame? What's his next move? Is Haymitch right that I should leave 12? Should I leave so that everyone I care about would not be in danger? I pulled a rake out of my shed. I needed physical exertion to distract my mind. Gardening was therapeutic and cathartic. My mind was at peace for a few hours. My body ached from staying out in the garden. It's a good ache. The next thing I knew, the sun was setting and the air dropped to a cool temperature. The air felt wonderful as it cooled my sweaty skin. I was so engrossed that I didn't see a figure sneak up from behind me. I felt a sting on the back of my neck. The world turned black as my last thoughts were of Katniss.


	9. Chapter 9 - Moving Forward

Chapter 9 – Moving Forward

_**AN: To my loyal readers, I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. Thank you for hanging on the Peeta and Katniss rollercoaster. All new characters belong to me just like any mistakes found in this chapter. Any rights or claims to the Hunger Games belong to Suzanne Collins. Thanks again for the reviews and comments. As always they are greatly appreciated. This chapter contains a slight M rating. Stay safe and Merry Christmas to all of you. **_

**Katniss POV - **

The days passed at a slow pace. Everyone's nerves were shattered. Each day my anxiety level escalated waiting for the next incident to happen. Though my walk with Peeta lifted my spirit, I knew that my joy was short-lived. My happy bubble burst as a vase of white roses was delivered to Johanna and Delly's resident a week after Peeta's meltdown. The tips were dipped in red paint that drizzled onto the flawless petals. It was a beautiful and yet horrifying sight. Its message was clear that both Johanna and Delly were not safe and were targets as well. Peeta begged both his roommates to leave 12. They rejected his plea telling him that family stuck together in good times and most of all during the bad times. They were stuck with him for good. It was an endearing sight to see the three of them in a hug that I couldn't help but envy them. Wishing I was included in Peeta's warm embrace. After a few moments of witnessing their private moment, Johanna turned and picked the vase and threw it outside into her trash bin. No words were necessary. She had cancelled any deliveries and remodeling in her home and stated that it lead to too many people having access to their house.

How the stalker got inside their home was a mystery since we all locked our doors. Haymitch proceeded to have everyone's locks replaced with a dermal scan lock. The next day he spoke to Beetee who had a new locking system shipped in express delivery. It was complicated and hi tech that the whole door had to be replaced. The mechanics was too sophisticated to understand. All I knew is that no one can get in without a hand print recognition to release the lock on the door. When the doors arrived the delivery came complete with Beetee's engineers, the sight was daunting as they spoke little but worked with precision and efficiency. By the end of the day, both doors and doorjambs in front and the back of our houses were installed. We all had our hands imprinted and programmed. Everyone had access to each other's home incase of an emergency. It was the first time in days that I sighed in relief.

Everyone's mood shifted since the installation of the security doors. The doors looked out of place, but was it served a purpose. I was so relieved that I had forgotten about Greasy Sae and Tamryn when they showed up ringing the doorbell on my new fancy door. Tamryn thought it was cool as Sae looked at it with concern. Sae and Tamryn hands were scanned to my doors since we have our breakfast together. I explained the procedure to Sae and Tamryn as they both looked puzzled but accepted it without question or an explanation. I didn't want to frighten them. Ignorance is bliss.

However, whatever calm and peace we had was shattered within days. I had just left Haymitch's house delivering his dinner and opened my mailbox. I walked straight through my door and perused through my mail. My mood soured when I noticed I received two letters. One came from Dr. Aurelius who communications both mail and calls all of which I've ignored. The other letter was from Gale. I had just dropped the letters on a table when I peered through my window to check on Peeta's house. I saw a tall figure walked to Peeta's door, knocked for a second and proceeded to head to the backyard. I looked at him in recognition, tall, broad shoulders, and dark hair with a beard. It was Gale.

"What the…" I gasped as my emotions swirled from shock, panic to anger. I turned and without hesitation pulled my bow and arrow out of the hallway closet and ran out my home. I seethed with anger as I sprinted to Peeta's home while I drew an arrow on my bow. As I turned the corner I noticed Gale hovering over Peeta's inert body on the ground. His back towards me, I snuck up behind him.

"Get away from him right now," I yelled as Gale stood up and placed a hand on his taser gun on his holster. "Hands in the air, Gale or I'll plug an arrow into your thick skull." He raised both hands. "Now turn around slowly." He turned and to my surprise it was not Gale. The intruder was the same height, build and hair coloring as former hunting partner that I assumed it was he. From behind he looked like him but as I analyzed his features he didn't resemble Gale at all. His blue eyes though frightened were soft and kind. His light complexion contrasted to Gale's darker skin tone. There was a tinge of sunburn on his pale skin. Who I saw in front of me was a complete stranger. Frightened for Peeta, I drew my hand ready to release my arrow. "Move away from him."

He moved away from Peeta when I noticed a slender pen lying next to him. "What did you do to him?" I inquired as I masked my anger. I couldn't lose control now. Peeta needed me.

"I just got here when I saw someone over him. So I called out to him but he just turned away and ran off. I think I surprised him. I went to check if Peeta was alright," he explained. "I think he's been tranquilized."

"Who are you and what do you want from Peeta?" I asked, my hands steady. My thoughts were of Peeta who lay still on the ground.

"Please let me explain, my name is Bron Masters. I'm Delly Cartwright's boyfriend," he uttered as sweat glistened on his forehead. Since Delly's return to 12 I never bothered to find what went on her life. What had happened to her during her stay in the Capitol as she took care of Peeta. Boyfriend or not, I couldn't assume his explanation were true.

"Delly doesn't live here," I corrected him. "Try again, what are you doing here?" I looked at him once more recognizing his Guardsmen uniform. The same suit that Gale wore when he first arrived at 12.

"I know she told me. But when I knocked on her door, I assumed that when she didn't answer, she would be with Peeta. She knows that I am arriving today but the train came an hour early. I wanted to surprise her," he said.

"I don't know who you are and Delly has never mentioned you to me, so how do I know you're really who you say you are?" I asked.

"I'm going to reach for my wallet and show you my identification and proof I am Delly's boyfriend," he said as he reached into his breast pocket.

"Throw you gun over there," I pointed to his left. He unbuckled the taser and threw it away from him. "Now throw your ID to me." The wallet landed face open. "Don't move. I can draw this arrow before you can take another step towards me."

"I know who you are. You're the Mockingjay, you're Katniss Everdeen," he smiled with a look of admiration on his face. "I'm just going to sit down so you can look at my ID." He sat down without my consent and clasped his hands together. His face showed a sign of relief as he sighed.

I dropped my bow and arrow and pick up his wallet. Inside was his Guardsmen identification with name, rank and resident. The picture on the card resembled the stranger before me minus facial hair. On the other side is a photo of Delly biting and pulling Bron's left earlobe as they sat on the ground with what's looks like a picnic.

They looked very much in love and happy together. I was about to address him when a voice shrieked from behind me. I cringed as I recognized the shrill that cut through the air. Delly appeared by my side as Johanna walked out of the house at the same time. It was evident that Johanna had just got out of the shower. Her hair now dark brown is still wet. "What's going on? Hey, Bron, what are you doing sitting on the ground?" she smirked.

"Bron, what are you doing here? Is that Peeta?" Delly fired questions in rapid succession as she rushed to his arms. After the quick embrace she turned to Peeta, "What happened to Peeta?" Her voice tinged with fright as she reached over to him to check his vitals.

"I found him like this" he said as he stood up brushing dirt from his pants.

I left my bow and ran up to her and Bron. I knelt beside her. "Is he okay?" I picked up the pen on the ground. "What is this?"

"It's a tranquilizer pen. We use it to sedate patients at the hospital. It's a low dosage but very strong. The effect is instant. Come on, the ground is cold and damp, let's get him inside the house," Delly instructed as she turned into nurse mode. Bron picked Peeta up onto his shoulders and walked inside his home with me, Delly and Johanna trailing behind him.

Hours later, we waited in anticipation for Peeta to regain consciousness. After a quick dinner of soup and bread, we remained downstairs as Delly returned to Peeta's side. He was still unconscious indicating how strong the sedative was used on him. The mood is bleak as we all realize how close we were to have almost lost Peeta. I shook from fear and anger. Johanna is pacing the room, cursing up a storm that would make Finnick proud. Haymitch is sullen as he conversed with Delly's boyfriend, Bron. There was no conversation of his sudden appearance during dinner since everyone was still shocked and anguished with the incident. Bron was quick to admit that he didn't get a better look at the figure that sedated Peeta. Just that he was tall, slender build and dressed in black from head to tow. He wore a black cap that hid his hair.

"This is my fault," Johanna exclaimed as she sat down next to me. "I didn't think anything would happen to him while I was busy having a spa moment." She pointed to her new colored hair.

"This isn't your fault, Jo," Bron said. "You didn't anticipate for anything to happen to Peeta in complete daylight and out in the open no less. Whoever did this was pretty bold and gutsy."

"Or desperate," Haymitch interrupted.

"Must have been the shock of life with Katniss pointing her bow at you, Bron," Johanna smirked, breaking the tense moment.

"Yeah, not the way I wanted to be introduced but…" he chuckled as he looked at me. "It's not everyday you get to meet Katniss Everdeen in the flesh while she's threatening your life."

"Sorry, it's just that…when I saw you with Peeta…" I explained. I'm frustrated as I struggled with my words.

"No apologies necessary. It's just finally great to meet you. Delly hasn't stopped talking about you since we've meet," he interrupted and smiled back at me. "I'm just glad you didn't shoot me. I can't wait to tell the guys in my squad that I finally got to meet you."

I blushed with his compliment. Just at that very moment, Delly walked down the stairs. "Peeta is still asleep. He's resting for now. There's really not much we can do but let him sleep off the sedative," she declared as she turned to Bron. "Thank you for finding him." She hugged her boyfriend. I too was grateful for Bron.

"Okay kids, why don't you take Bron back to the house, Delly," Johanna stated. "I'll call you if Peeta needs anything." She hugged Delly and Bron for the night. She turned to Haymitch. "Hey old man, you don't have to stay here for the night. I'll watch over Peeta."

Haymitch nodded and stood up. "Katniss?" he addressed me expecting to walk me home.

"I'm staying here with Johanna. I can't sleep anyway so I'll keep her company," I said as I made a unilateral decision without consulting her. He turned and hugged us and walked out the house. The gesture surprised me since he was not much of touchy feely person.

"You don't have to stay, Katniss," she commented. "He's safe. Nothing is going to happen to him."

"I don't want to go home, Johanna. I want to stay," I said. "I need to stay." I looked into her eyes hoping she would read the words I couldn't convey. My throat tightened. After a few seconds I lost my patience. "I need to see him."

"He's asleep and probably will be for the rest of the night," she stated.

"I don't care," I said. I tread up the stairs and felt as though my feet were made of lead. I walked into Peeta's bedroom to find his door a bit open. A lamp illuminated the room. On top of the king size bed and under a blanket, Peeta lay asleep. His breath is steady and calm. However, his eyes lids fluttered as if he's having a dream. I hoped that it wasn't a nightmare. I wanted him to sleep without any interruptions. A second later he moaned and shifted on his bed. I longed to brush my fingers through his unruly hair. This is the first time in weeks that I am alone with him. The last time was at Tamryn's part when he slept beside me. I wanted to slip beside him and hold him in my arms. After a few moments of sitting beside him, he opened his eyes, blinked for a second or two and sat up on his bed.

He stared at me like as if I was a dream. "Peeta?" I whispered hoping not to alarm him.

"Not real," he said. Surprised, I stood still. "You're not real." He shook his head.

"Real, Peeta," I said as stood before him. "Feel your heart."

He laughed. "See you're not real. You said that before in my dreams."

"Peeta, I'm real," I corrected him as I approached him and placed a hand on his shoulder. He gasped and closed his eyes. His body swayed back and forth.

"No!" he screamed. "Not real, note real." He repeated to himself. His scream alarmed Johanna that she entered the room with an axe in her hand.

"What's wrong?" she asked as she clutched her axe tight, her fingers turning white.

"He doesn't think I'm real," I explained as Peeta continued to chant to himself. Johanna dropped the axe and sat on the bed next to him. "Help him." I felt useless and scared that he was having an episode because of me.

"Peeta," she said in soothing manner taking a hand into hers. "It's me, Johanna. I'm real." He stopped chanting and looked at their clasped hands. "See real." She turned to me. "I think the tranquilizer has confused him." She gestured to me to come closer. "Katniss, come here. Take his other hand." I moved to the other side of the bed and took his cold hand into mine. His hand felt solid and strong. "See she's real too, Peeta." He refocused his eyes, staring into our hands and my eyes, switching back and forth.

"I'm real, Peeta, " I said my voice shaking.

"What are you two doing in my bedroom?" he asked. "What's going on?" I saw the confusion in his eyes as he spoke in a whisper.

"What's the last thing you remembered?" Johanna queried. He thought for a few second with his hand still in mine. I hope that he would let me hold him just for a little while.

"I was…in my the backyard, I think. Yeah, I was in the garden when I felt something sting me in the back of my head," he answered as he lifted his away from Johanna's and felt for the back of his neck.

"Someone knocked you out, Peet. He sedated you from behind. Bron was able to scare him away before he could do anything else to you," she said.

"Bron's here. Oh, Delly said he was arriving today," he remembered. A few seconds later his voice rose into a panic. "Is everyone okay? He didn't go after anyone, did he?" That's my Peeta. Always thinking of others before him.

"Everyone's fine. We're just glad that you're okay. You gave us a scare," Johanna chuckled. "Katniss almost shot Bron. She thought it was him that sedated you."

He looked at me realizing that I'm still there holding his hand. He pulled it away. I tried to hide the hurt I felt when he yanked his hand from me. A blush rose on his cheeks as he looked down onto his bedcovers. "How did I get here?"

"Bron carried you into the house. We all have been waiting for you to wake up," Johanna explained. "You hungry? You missed dinner."

"I'm not hungry, I actually want to take a bath," he said as he climbed out of bed. He stopped and stared at his attire. He was dressed in a plain light blue t-shirt and matching colored pajama bottoms. He looked yummy and cute with his hair tussled. He groaned, "Please tell me that Delly changed me." His eyes bulged with embarrassment. Before Johanna can answer he rushed out of his room and entered his bathroom. We hear the flush of the toilet and the tap of water released into the tub.

"Oh, come on, Peet. You're wearing you pajamas. Besides, it's not like something I haven't seen you naked before," she teased. I glared at Johanna at her implication. _'She had seen Peeta naked? When and where?' _My jealousy rose as thoughts crossed my mind of all the scenarios flashing before me. "Katniss, lighten up. You have nothing to be jealous of."

'_Really,'_ my mind screamed. _'You just admitted that you've seen Peeta naked and I'm not supposed to get jealous.' _My eyes narrowed.

"I just wanted to say thanks for being there for Peeta. We were lucky that Bron stopped whoever it was on time. Who knows where Peeta would be right now if it wasn't for him and you for watching over him," she confessed. My anger and jealousy abated. She was right. All that mattered is that Peeta is safe. My curiosity would have to wait.

"I'm going home now. Tell him...tell him I'm glad he's okay," I stumbled with my words. I turned to walk away before she placed a hand on my arm.

"Katniss," she started, "I know you're trying and I can see that now. But he's weak and vulnerable not just physically. So tread lightly and carefully. I know that you'll do whatever it takes to keep him safe. I never doubted your concern for him. I just doubted your heart. Take care of his that's all I ask." With a grateful nod, I turned and walked out of the room. A smile on my face lingered as I fell asleep that night without a nightmare.

A day later, a very sober Haymitch called us to meet at his home. I was surprised to find Bron amongst us. I watched Peeta as he talked between Delly and Bron. He looked well rested and at ease with them. My thoughts are interrupted as Haymitch addressed us.

"It has come to my attention with Peeta's last incident that Johanna is right," he said. "We need to be proactive in regards to his safety. Whoever he is, he's escalating. We can't take anymore chances of him catching Peeta off guard again." He looked at all of us. We all agreed with him in silence.

"What do you have in mind?" Peeta asked in concern. "Listen, I know that all of you are worried but if any of you got hurt because of me… I can't permit anything that might put any of you in danger."

"Shut up, Peeta," Johanna berated him. "You know, you would do same for any of us in the room. Am I right?" She challenged him with a look as if they were having a silent conversation with each other.

"What I'm suggesting won't put anyone in danger, Peeta. For now we need to figure out who this person is," Haymitch advised. "Please all of you follow me." He stood up and led us to his second floor. Since all the rooms in the Victor's Village were designed the same, I was surprised that he led us into the master bedroom. The bedroom furniture was cobwebbed and dusty. There were at least 15 mail delivery bags all over the room. "Can everyone pick up a bag and take it downstairs." We all picked up one bag. I heard Delly and Bron argue as he carried a bag for his girlfriend. I smiled.

"Now that you had us take your dirty laundry out of your filthy bedroom, do you mind telling us what this is all about?" Johanna asked in an exasperated tone. Patience is not one of her virtues.

"Inside you'll find hundreds of letters all addressed to Peeta," he explained. "These letters arrived at the hospital when Peeta was in recovery after the rebellion."

"Peeta you got fan mail," Delly teased. We all knew better. Once you became a tribute and a victor, hundreds of letters or correspondence were delivered to our homes after the games. Prim and my mother all but destroyed them at my request. Not once did I open a single letter.

"I'm hoping that somewhere in the bags we will find a clue to who he is. Or who she is. We aren't certain that Peeta's stalker is male. It could be a she for all we know," Haymitch suggested.

"What makes you think that he would even write a letter to Peeta?" I asked. The idea seemed ridiculous.

"He couldn't get to Peeta while he was in the hospital. The only way he could reach him is by correspondence. He had to have written to him, threatening him with his life. Peeta has not read any of the letters. He may have realized that the letters weren't enough to get his message across. He felt ignored. He has taken great pains to leave a message with the graffiti, the roses and the white suit. Things Peeta can't ignore," he said. " He has to have written him earlier. I know it's a stretch but I think he would find a way to let Peeta know of his existence. I mean, what is he saying by leaving a white rose and suit?

"That he's from the Capitol?" Delly answered.

"Maybe but I think he's reminding Peeta of his involvement in collaborating with the Capitol. Remember there are people in the district that hate Peeta for siding with the Capitol," Haymitch lectured. I looked at Peeta who was pale and somber. I wanted to take his hand to comfort him. Haymitch left out the one word we all knew that labeled Peeta after the war. He became a traitor to many. The thought angered me. "So what we need to do is shift through every piece of paper in each bag. Look for letters that has any hint of harmful intent to Peeta."

"You mean anything that might indicate a threat to his life," Bron said.

"Isn't that what I said?" Haymitch sighed in frustration.

Haymitch could be as eloquent as Peeta when he spoke. But this time, I needed him to speak without any fancy words or metaphors.

"Sorry Haymitch. You can't blame us. Sometimes you're difficult to understand when you're pissed drunk let alone sober," Johanna said defending Bron.

"Whatever. I don't care how insignificant. We all have to take every letter seriously," Haymitch instructed. We dug into a bag and read each letter. After an hour, we all had two piles each. I never knew that many women had proposed marriage to Peeta. Several suggested being the father of his children. I was surprised with the number of men he attracted. The good letters ranged from their admiration for surviving the arena while others wrote of wanting romance and a relationship with him. To my shock some just wanted straight up sex with him. I remembered how Johanna introduced herself for the first time during the Quarter Quell. I thought she was kidding when she said strangers wanted to sleep with him. How naïve and ignorant I was of the world around me.

"These letters are horrible," Delly said. "Why would anyone take these seriously?" She pointed to a tall pile of 'love letters' addressed to Peeta. "And these are just as horrifying. I don't see how anyone would want to hurt Peeta in any way. These people are scary." She waved a letter from her 'hate' pile.

"They're real. I had bag loads of mail when I won my game. When you become a Victor, you'll have people who love and adore you, and just as many of those that hate you," Johanna admitted. Haymitch nodded his head in agreement. I never knew the extent of my popularity. Peeta and I were the Victors for the year. We both assumed that the next victor would gain popularity, eclipsing us. But Haymitch and Effie claimed as Star Crossed Lovers, we were the most popular and unique. Our game and ratings were the highest ever. Even now as the Mockingjay I will never be just Katniss Everdeen from District 12. Just as Peeta will always be known as my scorned lover who betrayed me. I need speak to Haymitch and Effie and figure out how to redeem Peeta. I refuse to have him written in the history books as a traitor to Panem but most of all to me.

"Oh my…listen to this." Delly said, her eyes wide as saucers. "My dearest beloved Peeta. You are my soul mate. I knew it the first time I saw you. Your eyes penetrated mine as if you can see my soul. They are clear blue as the sky above me. How I long for you to cover me with your kisses. Your hands touching me all over. I cannot wait for you to take me and ravage me with…"

Bron grabbed the letter from her hand. "Delly, I think that's enough. We get the gist of some crazy woman's fantasy. I really don't think we need to hear it. You're embarrassing Peeta."

Johanna snatched the letter from Bron. "Speak for yourself," Johanna said as she continued to read the letter. Delly joined her. They both gasped seconds later.

"Is that even possible?" Delly shrieked as her cheeks turned a deep red. "Let me read that again."

"I don't know. Why don't you and Bron tell me if it's possible," Johanna teased. Delly smacked her in the head. "Hey, if you don't want to find out. I'll help you figure it out." She laughed, wiggling her eyebrows at Delly and Bron.

"You two cut it out," Haymitch warned. "I think this is all we could do for tonight." He said as he looked at Peeta. His eyes were red, tired and drooping. His shoulders slumped and his lips formed a thin line. He didn't look amused at all. "We can start again tomorrow evening after dinner. Johanna, why don't' you take Peeta home."

"Oh, right. Come on, Peet," she said as she took his arm and led out of Haymitch's house. "We can read all your love letters tomorrow." Peeta said his good byes and walked out the door.

"Thanks for dinner, Haymitch," Bron said as he shook Haymitch's hand. "Delly and I will provide dinner tomorrow."

"That would be great," Haymitch agreed. "Good night." Delly and Bron left the room leaving Haymitch and I alone.

"How many bags do I have, Haymitch," I asked in curiosity. He looked at me for a second.

"You have a ton of letters, Katniss. Not like Peeta's. Most of them wanted to say thank you for helping free Panem. You don't have many hate letters. You don't have to worry about that," he assured me. That wasn't what I wanted to hear.

"Did I receive as many letters as Peeta before the Quarter Quell?" I inquired. He shook his head to answer. I'm not surprised since I didn't do well during the interviews with my bubbling personality. Peeta gain his popularity as he charmed Panem with his witty words, his charm and his smile. The Capitolites loved him. I didn't care at all for the celebrity status or their adoration. Peeta knew how to play the game. I didn't handle it as well as him.

"Why didn't you tell me about this?" I pointed to the bags and pile of letters on the floor.

"What would be the point? He got them in the Capitol and they're still being delivered each week at the station," he said. "We all got letters after our games. It's a normal occurrence."

"Fine, we all did, but you didn't come back from a rebellion labeled as a traitor. Haymitch, they think Peeta betrayed us," I sobbed as I clutched a pile of hate letters in my hand. My Boy with the Bread was tortured and abused. And everyone thought that he supported the Capitol. I came out as the heroine that saved Panem. "He's being stalked, his life is threatened. How much more do you think he can take?"

"Katniss, we're all going to make sure nothing happens to him," he said as he took me in his arms. "We'll do whatever it takes to protect him, I promise."

"You said that the last time," I cried as I left his embrace. I knew it wasn't fair to blame him. But it was Peeta's life at stake. I couldn't stand to have another person make a promise to me to only be disappointed.

"I didn't lie to you. I swore that I would have protected him, but the situation was out of my control," he clarified. "You knew why I chose you." He looked ashamed and angry. "I had no choice."

"You had a choice. You should have told us, Haymitch," I said as I held the anger simmering inside me. "I would have never separated from him, ever."

"You know, you wouldn't have agreed. You know damn well that you would have never participated in the rebellion as our Mockingjay. Panem needed you," he said. "Peeta wanted you to live. If I had to do it all over again, Peeta would have agreed with my choice. I would pick you."

"What about Peeta? Doesn't his life mean anything to you, to anyone? He was right," I screamed. "He always came second. It isn't right. How can anyone value my life over his? He's worth more than ten of me."

"You're wrong and not because you became the Mockingjay. Peeta knew that," he said. "He loved you enough to cast his life aside because he knew you were worth it. He saw in you what others couldn't see. What I couldn't see. That you were a life worth saving."

"No, I'm not. You told me that even if it takes a hundred lifetimes, I would never be worthy of him." I agreed. I acted in self-preservation, never thinking about his worth. I just didn't want more blood in my hands, especially if it was Peeta's. I was tired and ready to give up.

"I was wrong to say that. You are worthy. Why would Peeta go through everything he experienced if he didn't think you were worth it," he added. He was wrong but if Peeta thought I was worth dying for, I could do the same for him. Now that I know how I feel about him.

"Besides, what's the point in rehashing all this? It's done and over with. We need to concentrate on how to protect Peeta," he continued. "Did you watch him tonight? He looked like he's giving up. That's what I saw, Katniss."

"I know. He's beaten and tired. His mind is broken and he's so sad all the time," I stated. "What are we going to do?"

"We remind him everyday, that we're here for him. We tell him not to give up," he rallied.

"I miss him, Haymitch," I wailed, tears tracked down my cheeks.

"I miss him too," he admitted. "I miss the kid who came to my house delivering fresh bread in the morning. I miss how he would hide my liquor and make me search for it all over my house."

I remembered that boy. I just wished I didn't dismiss him when he was whole, happy and in love with me. "But there is one thing I do know. We can get that Peeta back," he continued with a wistful look on his face.

"How?" I asked as I wiped my snot and tears on my sleeve.

"With a lot of time and patience. We need to give him that. But also we need to remind him…tell him that we love him," he challenged.

Love. The one thing he sought for all his life. The one thing his mother denied him. I never knew it but it was love that drew me to him, even when I denied my feelings for him. I felt sadness and shame for ignoring what has been in front of me. I thought I was being noble when I was willing to sacrifice my life for his. I was wrong. It was out of love. It was time that I admitted it to Peeta. I just hope he gives me the chance.

Each day we took turns going through the bags. More arrived from the Capitol when Dr. Aurelius released them to our care. The job was daunting but necessary. I had to admit that a few left me embarrassed as his admirers wrote in great detail of how they would seduce Peeta. After reading a couple of letters, I found myself reenacting them in my dreams. I woke up gasping, my breath labored and my heart racing. I reached over to Peeta hoping he was beside me. I flushed with the memory of his hands roving over my naked chest as his lips grazed between my breasts. There is an unfamiliar ache and wetness between my legs. Reading his 'fan mail' is going to be the death of me. Its no wonder that he refused to read them around us. It would take weeks before we finished going through them. I hope that in time, we can yield some results. This incident did produce spending more time in his company. All of us would have dinner 2- 3 times a week. It's great to have family again. It was a feeling I missed when my father passed away.

I felt bad for meeting Bron the way I did. So I asked him and Delly to join me for dinner one night. It was a simple affair of lamb stew and bread. Delly brought dessert that Bron had ordered from the Capitol. It was to-die-for Crème Brule. I never had anything like it. Where was this when I was in the Capitol? We sat in my living room for tea and coffee. It was nice to have an evening with no drama. I smiled at the two of them sitting on my sofa. Delly giggled when Bron threatened to not shave the next day. He scrubbed his razor stubble chin on her cheek when she told the story of how she 'suggested' that he better shave off his beard. He argued back that he liked it because made him look manly and mature.

"If you ever expect to see my bed again, Bron. You better have all that hair off your face," she retorted in mock anger. Bron smiled back and threatened to tickle her to death.

"So Delly how did you and Bron meet?" I wondered. He was the opposite of what I thought she was attracted to. Her blond curly hair was in contrast to his dark head. It was taboo for blond hair Merchants to mingle with dark hair and olive skinned Seam.

"It was love at first sight for me," Bron said with a bright smile and a twinkle in his eyes.

"Oh, really. For me it was love at first vomit," she returned. Bron laughed at the recollection. "We met in District 13 at the Recovering Unit. There he was lying in bed with a bandage covering one eye, two fractured legs and a broken arm. I saw him looking green and queasy. He was reaching for a bucket next to him. So I went to him to help when he sat up in bed and vomited all over my uniform. That's how I first met Bron." She smiled like it was the most romantic thing that had ever happened to her. "I also discovered he was biggest flirt in the unit."

"I couldn't help myself. You were just the most beautiful girl I've ever seen," he said in his defense.

"Right, that why's you were also flirting with what's her name…Sienna Cooley," she corrected.

"Hey, I was in pain. I would have flirted with anyone for more morphine," he said.

"Anyway, so for days he would find any excuse for me to help him. He needed another blanket because he was cold or having to adjust his bed when he felt uncomfortable," she said.

"I was uncomfortable. How would you like it if you're legs and arm is in a cast for days and can't get up on your own without getting help from someone," he said.

"You do know that there were other healers and nurses in the ward besides me right?" she challenged him.

"I just wanted you," he confessed as he looked nonplus to her.

"The best excuse was when he kept telling me that he needed to write to his family back in the Capitol and needed my help since his right arm was broken," she continued.

"So did you help him?" I asked curious of their history together.

"Yeah, she came back with a digital writing pad," he laughed. "She resisted my charm for a long time."

"I was working and was busy. I didn't have time for romance. I didn't know if his feelings was true or real," she added. "Besides, he was from the Capitol."

"A bone of contention between us. I couldn't understand why she resisted me when I knew she felt something happening between us," he said. "After I was released I persisted. I asked her to have dinner with me everyday. And I kept asking until she relented."

"Why did it matter if he was Capitol, Delly?" I asked.

"Because I'm from District 12. What kind of relationship could we have with the class difference," she explained. "I argued with him that we would never work. I wanted to return to 12 and his life is in the Capitol. But in reality, he scared me." I knew how she felt. The feelings Peeta instilled in me frightened and angered me. I didn't want to fall in love especially with a merchant boy. I didn't realize that there were a class difference between the Capitol and Merchants. They seemed the same to me.

"What finally got you to give Bron a chance," I inquired.

"Peeta. He knew I was interested in someone. I never mentioned his name but that he was from the Capitol. When I told him, he didn't even blink," Delly said. "He said I was being stupid for denying my feelings and for a chance of happiness. Peeta said to trust my heart." She paused for second. "He said it was okay to be scared because it meant that Bron must really mean something to me. Because love is scary and messy but worth it if he made me happy." She turned to Bron and took his large hand into hers. I wished I had Delly's courage at the time I first felt something for Peeta.

"So when I met Peeta at Johanna's house in District 7, I told him he was my new best bud. How can I not love the guy for opening Delly's eyes and heart," Bron said. "And he is Delly's best friend." My heart swelled with the thought of Peeta playing matchmaker for his best friend. Bron was right how can anyone not love Peeta. That night I dreamt of Peeta and I in the meadow holding each other as we lay on soft green grass. It was a pleasant dream that I wished to happen.

The next couple of days pass without incident. One evening I get a surprise visit from Haymitch with Thom trailing behind him. "What's wrong Haymitch," my voice hitched to a panic tone. "Did something happen to Peeta?" My thoughts and mind were always on Peeta.

"Um, not exactly but we do need to talk about him," Haymitch said. I led them into my living room. "Go ahead Thom, you tell her." They both sat down on the long sofa as I sat across them.

Thom looked nervous. "Well, it just that someone in town is applying to open a bakery café. I'm in the process of having the application processed," he said.

"That can't happen. If anyone is going to rebuild the bakery it should be Peeta," I exclaimed.

"I agree with you and so does Haymitch," Thom agreed.

"The problem is that every time someone mentions it to Peeta, he gets a full blown panic attack," Haymitch explained. "How are going to get him to agree to at least apply for the application if he gets an episode?"

"I didn't know that," I said. I knew that when he baked Tamryn's cake, Delly mentioned how distraught he was. He didn't sleep for days. "Does Peeta know about this?" The fact that Haymitch approached me with Thom made me wonder if Peeta is aware of the situation.

Haymitch was silent confirming my suspicion. "Haymitch, we promised Peeta that we would not do things behind his back anymore. And this is definitely one of them," I scolded him.

"I know," he said with a look of shame on his face. "I'm sorry but it's a hard habit to break. I don't want to hurt him. It's obvious that the bakery is a very painful memory for him. But how do you think he'll react when we tell him someone is trying to take over his family's business. He's not even ready."

"It doesn't matter. He should be here discussing this with Thom," I corrected. "At least just let him know. Maybe the threat of someone trying to rebuild the bakery might force him to face his demons. He needs something to fight for."

"You're right Katniss," Haymitch admitted. "Thom and I will talk to Peeta tomorrow."

"I want to be there," I said.

"Katniss, that might not be a good idea," Haymitch said.

"I want to be there to when you tell him," I said. "If you think it's going to be a problem then have everyone there just in case something happens. We should all be there to show our support."

"It's settle then. Before dinner we'll talk to Peeta and see how he reacts," Haymitch agreed. I walked them over to my door when Thom called my attention.

"Katniss, before I leave I need to talk to you," he announced. He looked nervous and scared all of the sudden. I bade Haymitch good night and turned to Thom who stood up.

"I don't know how to…I guess I should apologize first…" he started.

"Thom, sit down. What is it you need to talk about?" I asked.

"It's about Gale," he said. I sat in my chair stunned. He continued, "I've been keeping in touch with him since your return to District 12." He paused. "He was really worried about you being alone and recovering from the rebellion that he asked me to…give him updates. He'd also asked about Peeta. Wondering how he was doing."

"Oh," I said.

"I didn't mean to tell him about what's been going on between you and Peeta," he lamented. "He'd ask me questions whether or not you're seen together or you know…"

"You mean you've been spying on me and Peeta, and reporting to Gale," I accused.

"I wasn't reporting to him I was just…" he said. "He wanted to know if the rumors were true."

"What rumors, Thom? What is everyone gossiping in town about Peeta and me?" I asked.

"The rumor is that you broke up and have been avoiding each other," he said. "And since no one saw you two together, we all assumed that the rumor was true. That you dumped him for betraying you while he was in the Capitol. And at District 13 everyone saw you with Gale." I closed my eyes in shame. "When Peeta arrived at 13, he was different. Not a lover returning to you. You avoided him and were forced to work with him. It just confirmed what we all thought."

I wanted to scream. I treated Peeta with scorn and anger. I didn't want anything to do with him. I kept Gale beside me. My behavior at 13 only solidified the rumors. "So when you came back, everyone assumed that you were pining after Gale because they would see you going into the woods like you used to," he added. "I sorta encouraged him to visit you because you did look sad and unhappy without him."

And the gossip kept getting worse as he continued with his observation. My mind reeled from the rumors rampant all over Panem.

"Most people in town are so angry with Peeta for what he did to you..." he said.

"He didn't do anything to me!" I screamed. "Peeta is not a traitor. He was tortured and abused in the Capitol. He was tortured for information about the rebellion. A rebellion that he wasn't even aware was forming. They almost killed him because of me." My voice rose as tears filled my eyes. "All the rumors are nothing but lies. And they have to stop, do you hear me?"

Thom stood frozen in fear from my wrath. I sidled before him even though he towered over me. "And you had no right to be talking to Gale. Reporting to him like some flunky. It's your fault that he has some delusion of us living happily ever after. I never wanted Gale that way. And as for Peeta, whatever is going on between Peeta and I is private and none of anyone's business." I said as I poked my finger into Thom's chest.

"I'm sorry, Katniss," he apologized. I waved him aside. Peeta's life was already filled with many complications. I feared for his reaction to the news about the bakery. Peeta had to know the rumors going around about him. It was evident when we walked to town that day.

"I thought Peeta was your friend, Thom," I uttered. "How could you encourage Gale with nothing but rumors and innuendo."

"He is my friend. He's one of the nicest guys I've known even before the rebellion," he said. "But I have been friends with Gale longer than Peeta. I wanted you both to be happy. We all thought that's who you wanted."

"My happiness is no one's concern, especially Gale," I said in resignation. "Please leave." I was tired of being angry and frustrated. Taking it out of Thom would serve no purpose. It wouldn't erase the mistakes I made.

"I'm really sorry for causing you and Peeta any harm," he apologized. He turned and left my home.

* * *

><p><strong>Peeta POV –<strong>

I stood in my shower letting the hot water cascade over my aching body. It's been days and I can still feel the sting on the back of my neck where the pen penetrated my skin. Delly told me that the pen left a bruise from the impact. I could feel it when I lay on my back. A reminder of the close call I had with my stalker. If it were not for Bron, who knew where I would be right now. I looked down to see my prosthetic leg shiny and wet. I will never get used to seeing my fake limb. The shiny unit was waterproof and can withstand hot and cold temperature. It's not the usual leg I used daily.

The shower was a welcome relief after hours of numbing and mindless reading of my 'fan mail.' I have seen and experienced a lot when I was in the Capitol. It didn't prepare me for the content written on the letters. I knew and felt the hate and anger from the townspeople in 12. The letters verified what I had already known and there is nothing I could do to change it. As amusing as some of letter are they left me wanting of a life that I know I will never have. I was resigned that the fake leg could repulse any normal woman but with my hijacking it only added to my list of undesirable attributes. Before the games nobody needed me, now who would want me. I shook myself from my own pity party and took a deep breath. I didn't realize that I stayed in the shower too long as the water turned hot to freezing. I yelped as the water hit me. I reached for a towel and dried myself. Sitting down the edge of the tub, I replaced my waterproofed leg with my state of the art prosthesis that not only looked real, but it felt like my own skin. From a distance you couldn't tell I'm wearing a fake limb. I rubbed my towel to dry my hair then realized that I didn't bring a change of clothes with me after the shower.

I walked into my bedroom feeling the cool floor on my bare foot. I opened a drawer finding that all my boxer shorts are still downstairs in the laundry room. Without giving it much thought, I walked down the stair sporting a towel around my hips. I heard a gasp. From the living room Johanna, Delly, and Katniss sat staring at me. I stared back realizing that Katniss is looking at my tattoo right in the middle of my chest.

Delly giggled, "Umm, Peet we have company." I blushed for a second and walked past them to retrieve my clothes.

"Was that a tattoo on his chest?" Katniss asked in a surprised tone.

"Yup, he designed it himself. Even designed mine and Annie's too," Johanna added, I can hear her say as I disappeared in to the laundry room. _'Oh, crap,'_ my mind reeled. I had never intended to let Katniss see my tattoo, ever. Johanna, Annie and I got one months after we were released from 13. It was sort of a bond and vow we took together, a reminder that we survived Snow and the Capitol. They had tortured our minds and our bodies, but they didn't break us. We survived. Our bodies belong to us.

Finding enough clothes in the laundry room, I joined the ladies in the living room. I hopped on one foot to another trying to put on some socks then sat down on the sofa. "What's going on? Isn't our scheduled dinner tomorrow night?" I inquired as I looked to Johanna. I tried not looking at Katniss' direction as I remembered that I wore a towel when she saw me. I hoped that I didn't turn too red from blushing from embarrassment. I was glad that I wore my natural leg and not my metallic one. I couldn't bear her to see me that way.

"Last minute change of plans, Peet," she explained. "Katniss brought dinner and Haymitch will be here in a few minutes." Before I could ask for an explanation, Haymitch and Thom walked into the room.

"Peeta, ladies. I hope that I didn't interrupt any plans you may have made this evening," he said as he sat down and nodded Thom to do the same. Everyone greeted our guest as if they were expecting him.

"Hi, Thom," I greeted him then I turned to Delly. " Is Bron joining us?"

"He has patrol tonight," Delly explained. "It's good to see you, Thom."

"Hey, Delly," Thom said. "I want to thank for the dinner invitation. It's nice to see you again, Johanna." She nodded her head in greeting.

I squinted my eyes. I could tell that something was up. "Okay, can anyone tell me what the hell is going on," I asked.

"Nothing is up, Peeta," Haymitch said. "I mean nothing to serious or life threatening."

"Actually, Peeta. It was my idea to have everyone here this evening to discuss a matter that needs to be addressed," Katniss interrupted. She wrung her hands together. It was a habit I noticed when she was nervous.

"What's going on? All of you are nervous about something and I feel that it has to do something with me," I said. "This is beginning to feel like an intervention or something."

"I swear it isn't, Peeta," Haymitch said. "But there something we need to discuss with you and we thought that we should be here for moral support."

"Okay, now you're all making me nervous and anxious," I cringed to myself. "Will some just tell me what's going on?" I tried not to let my anxiety show in front of them.

"I guess it's best that I should explain why I'm here," Thom said as he paused for a second. "You know that I work at the New Justice building. I handle new business applications and construction permits for District 12. A couple of days ago, someone applied for a new bakery permit." I stiffened at the mention of the bakery.

"I thought that I should give you a heads up. I know that you didn't react well the last time I mentioned it," said Thom as he looked at Haymitch. "But I thought that maybe you would like to give it some thought as to whether you might apply yourself. It would be a shame to have your family business be taken away from you. It wouldn't have to done right away."

"What he means is," Haymitch interrupted. "You don't have to build it right away. You just need to apply for the planning and designing of the bakery. We know that you're not ready…"

"And we didn't want you to lose what is rightfully yours," Delly included.

"We're not pushing you to do anything, Peet," Johanna interjected. "Just think about it. Fast. Because you need to apply soon."

"So you're all here because of the bakery. Someone applied for it to be rebuild." I asked. "Somehow this does feel like an intervention. Why are you all here? I could have discussed this Thom without an audience." I knew they meant well since I've haven't baked anything since Tamryn's birthday day. And that incident was difficult and stressful.

"There a process and procedure that has to be followed," Thom explained. "Anyone can apply for new store to be approved, but actual ownership has to be considered in case someone else is applying for it. We can't have two stores opening up at the same time. It isn't fair. As the town grows then another bakery can be considered."

"You haven't mentioned whether you are interested in going back to baking or reopening your family business," Delly said. "We just want you to be aware of your options. And to think about your future."

"We're here to support you, Peeta," Katniss chimed in. "We'll be behind you with whatever decision you make."

"You guys are really something else," I snickered. "Did you honestly think I was gong to have another meltdown?" I waited for a response and none came. "Yes, I didn't react well the time first time Thom brought it up. The timing wasn't right. It was just too soon." I see a sigh of relief from everyone's faces. Thom smiled. "I'm okay. Don't you think that my immediate problem and concern should be finding my stalker than worrying rebuilding the bakery?"

"You can still think about it though," Johanna mentioned. "Don't put your life on hold because of some guy stalking you. You're doing so well and it's time that you should consider what you want to do about the bakery." The room was silent as they waited for me to speak.

"This is a lot to think about. I don't know what to say," I admitted and sighed to myself.

"I told you he'd be all right," Delly said as she punched Haymitch in the arm. He howled from the punch. "Served you right for making this more than it should be."

"Don't be harsh with Haymitch, Delly," I said. "He meant well."

"So does that mean that your ready to apply for the reconstruction because I can bring the papers here tomorrow," Thom said in an excited tone.

"Now hold on," I chuckled. "I didn't say that. I need a couple of days to make a decision."

"That's all the time you have because once you apply, the town's new council has to approve the application," Thom added. My smile dropped as I realized my chances of rebuilding my family business might be slim. The new council was made up of people unknown to me with the exception of Thom. "Just let me say something to help you decide." He looked to Haymitch and Katniss for a second.

"District 12 is quickly rebuilding itself. There are new stores and things that were not available to us before." he smirked. I remember the day he pointed the new stores in town. "The community is thriving and a stranger is applying for a new bakery. As Delly said the bakery is rightfully yours. Your father's bakery was a staple in the merchant town before the rebellion. Every morning as I walked to school I remember the smell of bread coming from your store. It was a symbol of home to me, what made 12 a happy memory. And, I never forgot your father's generous heart when he provided bread to the families who were reaped. That bakery is your legacy, Peeta. I don't want your legacy to be forgotten or stolen from you. Only one bakery should be build and that should be the Mellark's Bakery.

With the exception of Thom and myself, the girls and Haymitch had tears in their eyes. I looked around me. This was my family now.

"Nice speech, Thom," I smirked. "How long did you work on that?"

"I had a little help," he admitted as his eyes turned to Haymitch.

"I just gave him a few pointers. You should have heard his first speech," Haymitch confessed as his eyes widened. I laughed. It was the first time in weeks that something lifted my spirits.

That night after a hearty meal with everyone, I went to bed feeling light and thinking that I have a chance for a bright future. I look forward to moving on with my new family and prospect.


	10. Chapter 10 - Bumps on the Road

Chapter 10 – Bumps on the Road

_**AN: So, new career and new job in the upcoming New Year. This means shorter chapters to update but I hope to upload new chapters in a regular basis. Happy New Year everyone and stay safe.**_

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><p>The next day my hand shook as I reached for the phone to call Dr. Aurelius. I took a deep breath as I closed my eyes. My sessions have continued and more so now that he is aware of my last incident regarding my stalker. He had even advised me that if I need more sessions I should call him regardless of what time. Though they have been helpful I still find them tiring emotionally as well as physically. At least at the end of each session I no longer feel the need to stay in bed. I guess I am made some progress. Forty-five minutes later, I complete my session but make a last minute request.<p>

"Dr. Aurelius, can you send me my box?" I asked in a whisper as if someone is listening to our conversation.

"Your art box, you mean," he reiterated. I can hear the concern in his tone. "You're doing well and having those might send your recovery back. Are you sure you ready to have those in your possession?"

"I'll never be ready, but I think under these circumstances, I would rather have the box for safe keeping," I said. I'm not sure what I'll do when I have them but I need them close by.

"It's safe here, Peeta. Nobody but you and this hospital staff know the existence of its' contents," Dr. Aurelius said. "And everyone in my staff is under the patient/hospital staff confidentiality clause. Floor 4 staff is under strict rules to never discuss what happens there. Any information or leak will result in dismissal from the premises and assignment to other districts."

"I'd rather be safe than sorry. Please send them to me," I demanded. "You said that they belong to me and that I can have them any time I want."

"Okay, I'll package it myself," he confirmed. "It will be expedited to 11 within hours. It will be hand delivered to 12."

"When you do send them, can you address it to Delly Cartwright?" I asked. "Someone might be tempted to open or steal it if it's addressed to me or Johanna."

"I understand," he said. "Anything else you want to talk about or address before we end our call?"

"No, Dr. Aurelius. I feel good about what we discussed," I confirmed. Today's session left me with a positive outlook for my future.

"Just make sure you're making the right decision for yourself regarding the bakery," he counseled. "It's big decision that will have a lot of impact on your life and those around you. I feel that you're ready but that's my opinion. Do what you think is best for you."

I smiled at his approval and faith in me to make the right decision. I know that I have to decide what my future holds with the bakery. I thought long and hard what reconstructing it would do for me. Am I ready? Honestly, I don't know. Will the thoughts and memories of my family cause me to have another panic attack or an episode? That alone is reason enough to decide against rebuilding my family business. But what do I have for a future? Any proceeds I received as a victor ceased soon after my second reaping. I had saved more than enough to last a lifetime. I couldn't go through my life without some form of occupation. The only thing I've known is baking and drawing. The latter will not produce a decent income. It is more of a hobby than a serious profession. Besides, who would take my work seriously? Who would buy art from a former victor and traitor of District 12? With that thought in mind, my decision was made for me of what I needed to do. I went to bed that night feeling optimistic and scared in anticipation for my decision for the bakery and the box's arrival.

The next morning my lingering thoughts are interrupted as Delly stepped into my home. Her bright smile etched on her face never failed to calm me. Besides being one of the remaining survivors of District 12 she had been a great source of comfort and a happy reminder of the family I used to have. Though my bond with Johanna was forged by the Capitol's abuse and torture, Delly became someone I can rely on and trust. We had revealed a lot of secrets during my recovery. I was convinced that Johanna and I would not survive but here we are alive and with each day rebuilding our lives with the help of Delly Cartwright.

"Hey, Peeta. I got that packaged you were waiting for," she announced as she sat beside me and dropped the box on the coffee table. She reached over my forehead to check my temperature. My Delly always looking out for me. "You look a little flush, are you feeling okay?" she asked in concern and checked on my wristband.

"I'm feeling fine, Del," I returned. "Thanks for getting this for me." I picked up the package from the table and placed it on my lap. I held my breath for a moment.

"Do you want me to leave?" she asked. "I know it's from Dr. Aurelius." She pointed to the label on the box. I shook my head as I stared it for a minute.

"Could you stay with me?" I requested. She nodded her head and grabbed my hand for a moment. I peeled off the tape, removed the parcel paper wrapped around the box and lifted the lid. On top was a short note from Dr. Aurelius. _'If you need me for any reason please don't hesitate to call.' _I gave the note to Delly to read. I lifted a drawing pad and counted the pads inside the box making sure all of them were accounted for.

I flipped the cover page to reveal a horrifying image of Mutt Katniss with red eyes and bared sharp teeth pointing her bow. I heard a gasp beside me as I had forgotten that Delly was there beside me.

"Peeta!" she exclaimed. "Why in the world would you…"

"It's okay, Delly. I asked Dr. Aurelius to send my drawings to me," I explained as I flipped a couple of pages over. Each new page revealed a horrifying and terrifying image of Katniss in a not so flattering image.

"You don't need to see those again. Why would you want to?" she asked. She grabbed the box from me.

"I have to, Delly. I can't have them in the wrong hands. I can't trust anyone in the Capitol to find these," I told her. I closed the pad and sighed to myself. "I need to face parts of me that still exist."

"Peeta, you're not that person anymore," she interrupted.

"I will never be the same. I know that now," I admitted. "I know that whatever future or dreams I had will never come true. Whatever chance I had died when the Capitol altered me. They changed me, Delly. I can never deny that fact."

"You're wrong. How many times do we have to have this conversation? They didn't change you completely. You just need to take each day at a time. And, you have to…you have to let people in, Peeta," she suggested. I knew what she implied but I couldn't afford to think that way. "You have a future to look forward to. You're have people who love and care about you." She paused for a moment as she took my shaking hand into hers. "Have you decided what to do with the bakery?"

"I have," I said not adding more to my statement. I almost laughed at Delly's sour expression as she waited for me to continue.

"Well, tell me. What have you decided?" she asked, her brows lifted on her forehead. Her curiosity peaked.

"I'm not telling you," I answered. She slapped my arm not to harm but to aggravate.

"That's mean, Peeta," she said with mock anger.

"I've made a decision but I need to ask Haymitch something first," I explained. "I don't want to say anything until I speak to him."

"Oh," Delly responded in disappointment.

"You know me, Delly. You knew before anyone what my answer would be," I told her as I wrapped an arm over her shoulder. She smiled back at me because she did know. She always had.

"I'm so proud of you, Peeta," she said as she tussled my hair with her hand. "And you need to shave and get a haircut soon. You're going to be a business owner and you can't be looking like some bum off the street."

"Hey, I thought you said I was cute with my long hair," I said in defense. She was right. I did need a decent shave and haircut. But the thought of a sharp instrument in close proximity to my person still shook me. And finding a barber in town who I can trust was still an issue.

"If you want, I can cut it for you?" she volunteered.

"No way, Delly. I remembered the last time you cut my hair," I yelped. Memories of that incident still haunted me. My hair had grown so long one hot summer. I remembered the look on my mother's face when she saw me after my cut.

"Hey, I was only 11 and it was your idea," she reminded me. I shivered at the memory of the uneven haircut I received. My mother threatened to shave my head. In horror, I ran away. My mother screamed at me for losing business for one day as my father searched for me. The ending result was my father taking me to a barbershop and receiving the shortest haircut of my life as a lesson. My parents never knew who was my stylist and years later, Delly and I would laugh at the memory.

After a moment of going down memory lane, Delly picked up another pad. Inside were drawings of Tamryn that I drew when I was back in the Capitol after my last visit. She eyed them with great interest. "These are wonderful, Peeta. How can you say that you're not the same? These drawings prove otherwise." She continued to peer into my drawings. They were several drawing of Tamryn that I drew in my spare time. She smiled after a few minutes.

"What's so amusing?" I asked. She was looking at a drawing of Tamryn playing in a field of flowers.

"I'd tell you but you wouldn't believe me," she answered. I narrowed my eyes as she continued to ignore me. "Have you heard from Johanna?"

"She called to let me know that she arrived at 4 safely," I answered back. "She says that little Finn is getting real big and looking just like his daddy." I sighed at the memory of our conversation. "I wish I could visit but Johanna's says she's still having memory lapses. And Annie doesn't want to leave 4 since it's the only home she's every known. I don't blame her." Delly nodded at me. I needed to come back to 12 after the war. As for my reasons for returning to 12, I couldn't acknowledge or admit the truth.

I made a few attempts to contacting Annie but her mental state would lapse between the tortures she endured at the Capitol and reliving the death of Finnick over and over whenever she saw me. She would burst into tears or lapse into a catatonic state for hours. For some reason her last recollection of Finnick was with me in the Star Squad at District 13. It was through Finn's birth that helped her heal and recover from the war. After her release, Johanna spent months with her to help Annie throughout her pregnancy. I wished I had been there for her but I was incarcerated at the hospital soon after the end of the rebellion and her reaction to my presence only agitated her.

"Bron will be working night patrols so I'll be staying with you for the next few days," she announced. "I'll even cook." I balked at the idea. I didn't want Delly in harms way and staying with me only made her a bigger target. So I used another tactic to dissuade her from staying with me.

"Um, Delly as much as I adore you, you are not getting near my kitchen," I said. "You make a mess and I have to clean up after you."

Her eyes narrowed at me. "You didn't complain before when I was living with you," she accused.

I shrugged my shoulders, "I didn't have a choice then," I admitted. "Besides, what would your ever loving boyfriend say about you cooking and staying overnight with another man?"

"You're not a man," she said. Ouch. "You're family. I'm more surprised that you're not objecting with me staying with you than my cooking."

"Who said I agreed with you?" I said.

"I'm staying. And you're not going to win this argument," she said as she planted herself further into my sofa and crossed her arms. "If I'm not, then I'm going to ask Katniss to stay with you." She continued with a smug look on her face. I knew not to argue any further.

"You can't babysit me 24/7. Don't you have a job to go back to?" I rebutted.

"I have a whole week off and I'll be spending them with you as much as I can and, yes Bron knows I'm here," she said. "And he agreed that I should stay with you, just in case."

"I can take care of myself, Delly," I said in mild irritation for their decision. "You should be with Bron who can protect you."

"He trusts you to take care of me," Delly asserted. I was touched by their trust in me. "Listen, he's on night patrols meaning that he's at work from 1am until 9 in the morning. So he'll be asleep during the day. He feels better that I stay with you instead alone in my house without Johanna. He's close by in case anything happens."

I wondered about Katniss all alone in her house. Who took care of her?

That night I dreamt of sleeping in a meadow of dandelions and wild flowers. I stared into the clear blue sky. A face hovered over me blurring my vision. I smiled as she reached down and extended her small hand to me. Her hair in a single braid glistened from the sunlight. She looked pretty and adorable.

"Hey, Prim," I said. She smiled as she pulled my hand to help me up. "It's been awhile."

"You look good, Peeta," she said. "You still need to put more meat in your thin bones. You need to have Katniss make her lamb stew for you. That will fatten you up real quick."

"Where are we going?" I asked as we walked further into the woods. We walked in silence for a few minutes but stopped at the base of the tallest and biggest tree I've ever seen.

"You need to remember this when you wake up, okay?" she said as she tugged at my hand. "It's important."

I nodded and looked at the tree. The trunk was massive, at least 9 feet wide. The roots jutted out of the ground. I looked at the bottom of the trunk at eye level and noticed an etching on the bark. I walked closer to the tree. "Peeta, you know that I'll always be with you. Just like Katniss. Just remind her that I'm never far away from her. And tell her I love her. It's important that you remember this when you wake up." She held me in her tiny arms. "Please Peeta, don't forget."

"I promise, Prim," I said. I woke up from my dream hearing a scream that tore through the evening air. I blinked a couple of time to reassure myself that I wasn't dreaming. I recognized the scream anywhere. I was putting my leg on when the screaming stopped. I looked out my window to Katniss' house and noticed that her bedroom light was unlit. I debated for a few seconds and wondered if I had the right to go over to her house.

"Peeta, what are you waiting for?" Delly asked with concern and disappointment in her eyes. I stood before her for a second when she reached over and grabbed my hand. We ran into her Katniss' home. I rushed up the stairs to see her cowering on the floor in the corner of her room.

"Katniss," I said in a soft tone, hoping not to alarm her. She continued to sob and shake. I looked at Delly from behind me and turned back to Katniss. "Katniss, it's me Peeta. You're okay. You're home."

She peered from behind her messy hair, blinking her teary eyes. She reached over to me and held me tight as she wrapped her arms around me waist. Her cries grew louder as her tears soaked my nightshirt. "Shh, you okay, Katniss. See Delly and I are here. You're safe." I rubbed a hand down her back, soothing her shaking body.

"They took Prim from me," she sobbed and continued to cry all over me, clutching my chest tight. "I miss her so much."

"I know, Katniss. I miss her too," I said. Then I realized that Prim's birthday is coming. Her appearance in my dreams was timely. I wondered if my dream was preparing me for this. The next few days are going to be hard for Katniss. I moved a bit from her embrace and she tightened her arms around me. It was uncomfortable sitting on the cold floor. "Why don't we get off the ground? It's cold and you'll be warmer on your bed." She nodded, as she stood up climbed onto her bed. I reached to grab a blanket on the foot of her bed when she grabbed my hand. "Please stay with me." I gulped as my throat tightened at her request. I turned to Delly.

"Of course, Peeta will stay with you, right Peeta?" Delly confirmed. She saw the panicked look in my eyes. "He'll stay for as long as you need." I nodded and turned to Katniss as she stared into my eyes. With tears still forming, she opened her arms to me. A gesture I couldn't refuse. I could never deny Katniss anything even if my mind screamed from fright and confusion.

Delly crept out of the room leaving us alone; my mind was fighting what my heart couldn't deny. As much as she scares me, I will always care for Katniss. It was about loving her that I feared of repeating. I was never what she wanted and who I am now is someone I couldn't offer. There is a very tiny part of me that still hoped for a future with Katniss. Could I let myself believe that she loved me as much as I loved her? I felt a tinge of hope and optimism swell from my chest. I envisioned a future of us holding each other as we are now. I felt peace for a moment as my eyes closed with the last thought of Katniss, her head resting on my chest.

I was jolted from my sleep as I heard Sae's voice coming from behind Katniss' bedroom door. I wiped a hand across my eyes and reminded myself of what had occurred early this morning. I looked beside me to find the bed empty. With sigh, my heart dropped at the realization that Katniss had abandoned me. She took the comfort she needed and bailed. I should have realized that nothing had really changed between us. I was being used again.

I opened the door to see an amused Sae smiling at me. "She's not here, Sae. I need to go back to my house," I said as I walked past her and ran out of Katniss' home. I slammed my door closed as I reached my own home. Delly had a smile on her face.

"Oh, Peeta. How was your evening with Katniss?" she asked as she wiggled her brows.

"Don't want to talk about and don't ever bring it up again," I yelled as I walked past her and ran up my room. _'Not again, not again.'_ My mind reeled. I spent the day in bed, not opening my door to anyone. Delly made a few attempts to get me out of bed. I ignored her invitations for breakfast and lunch. I turned off my phone. I needed to regroup my thoughts and remind myself of who I am and what I meant to Katniss. _'She's your friend in need of comfort for the days ahead. Nothing else._' I told myself. The next time she calls out to me I will remember that. I opened the door, walked downstairs and found Delly preparing dinner. We ate in silence.

"Just remember that she's hurting right now. Don't take what she does or says seriously, Peeta," she lectured me. I nodded in agreement. I let my heart take over whenever I'm around Katniss. It was a mistake I would not repeat again. I went to bed weary and tired. That night I didn't dream at all.

The next day Haymitch appeared at my doorstep after lunch. He looked haggard and scared. "Have you two seen Katniss?" he asked.

"I haven't seen her since yesterday morning," I returned. I was still angry with myself for assuming something that I had no right to. My ego and pride were bruised. Feelings I'm familiar with when it came to Katniss.

"Sae came by this morning when Katniss didn't turn up for breakfast. It doesn't look like she came home last night since she also made dinner for her. Her bed is the same as she left it," he added. "I've looked in town and the edge of the woods. I don't know where else to look."

I felt guilty and ashamed for my thoughts yesterday. Delly was right that I couldn't take Katniss' behavior personally since Prim's birthday is tomorrow. And with the threat looming over me, Katniss was an easy target. I wouldn't forgive myself if anything had happened to her. Different scenarios raced through my mind and then I remembered the dream I had of Prim.

"Delly stay here just in case Katniss turns up," I instructed her. "I may know where she is, Haymitch. Take me to the woods Katniss usually visits." He led me to the area. I walked further in to the woods looking for the tallest tree in the vicinity. Half an hour later, we arrived at the location where I dreamt the night before. It wasn't the same tree but its width and height matched. The trunk was wide as I suspected and the roots just as high.

"Look around, Haymitch. She's got to be here." We went in opposite directions. I was scared, anxious and in pain since my leg ached from the walk. My anxiety disappeared as soon as I turned to see Katniss huddled against the wide tree trunk. She was damp from head to toe wearing a long sleeve shirt and light pants. They were the same clothes she wore the night we spent together. She was in a fetal position quivering. She had a fixed looked in her eyes as if she was in a trance. I realized that she was catatonic. Sighing from relief, I grazed the back of my hand to her cold cheek. She didn't respond to my touch. My heart tugged at my chest. Without any hesitation I lifted her in my arms and carried her away from the woods with Haymitch trailing behind me.

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><p><strong>Katniss POV – <strong>

I woke up to a warm and comfortable bed as I heard Sae knocking on my door. After a few minutes, she stopped and walked away. Clutching a pillow to my chest, I lingered in my bed not remembering how I got there. My clock chimed displaying date and time as I realized that Prim's birthday was yesterday. I tried to recollect the past few days when I concluded that I slept the day away. I fought tears that gathered in my eyes as I remembered what had happened since I awoke with Peeta lying in my bed. I recounted the joy I felt but was soon replaced with panic as I realized what I had done. My nightmare caused me to reach out to Peeta for comfort, asking him to stay with me. He looked peaceful beside me that I didn't have the heart to wake him so I snuck out of my bed. The next thing I knew I was in the middle of the woods. Standing in front of my favorite tree where I played as a child. I had not meant to stay as long as I did. I needed the peace and silence the woods provided me. Hours past as memories flooded and paralyzed me; day became night. I dreamt that Peeta came for me. Saving me. As I lay in bed I wondered if my dream were real. Did Peeta find me in the woods and carried me home?

I don't know how much time had passed when my bedroom door open to find Haymitch peering inside. I was about to tell him to leave me the fuck alone when I hear a tiny voice cut the air.

"Katniss, it's time to get up and have breakfast," Tamryn announced. She looked scared as she stood by the door. She reminded me of Prim for a second. "Grandma is making your favorite and said it's getting cold."

"Give me a few minutes, Pri….Tamryn. I need to freshen up before joining you," I said as my voice cracked and gave Haymitch the meanest look I could muster.

"Don't keep us waiting Katniss," he smirked. "We'll be waiting downstairs."

"We?" I asked. Haymitch gave me a confused look. _'Please don't tell me Peeta is there,' _my mind reeled. I was too embarrassed to face him after the night we shared. As innocent as it was, I don't know how Peeta reacted to my disappearance after sharing a night with him.

"Just you, me, Sae and the kid, Katniss," he answered. I sighed in relief. I needed a few hours to consider my actions before confronting Peeta. I took the quickest shower of my life and changed into a clean pair of pants and button down shirt. I don't remember wearing or changing into the nightshirt and long pants I am currently wearing. They were not the same pair the night I slept in Peeta's arms.

During breakfast I didn't have much of an appetite but ate the best I could. Tamryn chatted beside me. The little girl's appearance affected more than I thought since her bubbly personality reminded me of Prim. I tried to hide the tears as she gave me a tight hug and a wave goodbye at my front door. My eyes tried not to drift towards Peeta's home hoping to not catch him. When I went back inside, Haymitch planted himself on my sofa. He was balancing a bottle of liquor from one hand to the other.

"I didn't tell you why I stopped drinking, did I? Or at least try not to be drop dead drunk every single moment of my existence," he started. "When Peeta finished obsessing over his home during the first two weeks of his arrival, he came over and started to clean mine. From corner to corner, inch-by-inch, he cleaned and scrubbed my home going from room to the next. I didn't stop him but let him be."

He looked at the bottle for second, but then continued. "He didn't talk much and when he did, he said very little. It was a comfort to have him in my home, but painful to watch as he exhausted himself. He had one room left to clean. I was downing a bottle of liquor when he asked about the master bedroom. Suddenly my monitor goes on, it's Gale on the screen in his shiny new uniform containing rioters in District 6. The sound of his voice shook Peeta into an episode of anger and despair. But what really broke him was an image of you in your Mockingjay outfit. The image of you and him one after the other was more than he could handle. His eyes went feral, I was afraid that he would bite off his tongue off as he struggled not to scream. He fought whatever demon inside him as he threw furniture, books, whatever he could find. He scared me, Katniss."

He paused for moment as he placed the bottle on the table and leaned back on the sofa. "He finally realized I was present when he went after me with the broken liquor bottle I just finished." I gasped in shock. "He was already tired and weak from throwing every article he could get his hands on that I only had to hit him once. He was down on my floor bleeding. I was so absorbed in my self-pity of not being able to protect him. I should have been sober to watch him; to take care of him, he was in my home."

I sat beside him to comfort him as I wrapped an arm around him. "I was so drunk I thought I killed him, Katniss. There I was stinking drunk with Peeta lying on the ground, unconscious and bleeding from landing on broken shards of glass. It was first time in years that I broke down and cried. I failed him, again. I wasn't sober enough to protect him even from himself. From that day on, I swore that I would be a better person for Peeta."

"So what happened after he woke up?" I asked.

Haymitch eyed me with sadness and shame in his eyes, "He just stood up with blood covering his arms, legs and cheek. He blinked once or twice and looked around him. And you know what he did? He walked over to my kitchen, picked a broom and dustbin and started cleaning the mess he made."

"He didn't say anything to you?" I questioned.

"He apologized for making a mess. We never said a single word about that day," he admitted. "Since then, I've been weaning myself from my 20 year habit of disappearing into my own world. It's been difficult and painful. But I would do anything I can to ensure Peeta's survival. I failed you as I have failed him and broken his trust. I will never be worthy of his devotion and friendship. It's something I know I have to earn back." His hands trembled as he spoke. "I know that the last few days have been difficult for you. Just don't give up, Katniss. You've made great strides in moving forward; you have a lot to look forward to. You need to concentrate on that."

I looked at Haymitch. There are new wrinkles around his eyes and mouth. I thought about Peeta, Johanna and I, how we survived Snow and the Capitol. We lived through a rebellion with Coin; another would be Snow had she lived. I don't regret the decision I made that fateful day. When we returned home, I didn't realize what role Haymitch took upon himself. He was now protector and father figure for all of us. Especially Peeta who had no one left. I was accustomed to my mother's abandonment since the age of 11. Prim's death only widened the chasm between us. Haymitch became not only my mentor but also parental unit by de facto. I am very lucky to have him in my life.

"Katniss, you know that without using words and getting too emotional…" he confessed as for the first time I have ever known him, to stumble with his words, "you know what you mean to me. What you and Peeta as well as Delly and Johanna have become in my life. Before I ever met you lot, I was content to swim in my own guilt by drowning myself with liquor. I had no one." I nodded my head in understanding. "Please don't become me by emotionally drowning into yourself. We are all here for you, please remember that."

"I know that, Haymitch," I said. "I know how lucky I am to have everyone in my life. I just wish…" I held back the sob that was lodged in my throat.

"You miss her," he said. "She's never really gone unless you let her. She will always be with you, Katniss. For as long as you are alive, she will never be forgotten."

"Thank you, Haymitch," I said in gratitude.

"Just one more thing, I know that words don't come to you easily," he said. "You're actions often speak louder than any words you convey. You know what I'm talking about. The other boy, the one that was your friend and companion, you really, really need to set things straight with him. You know where you heart lies, you've always known. Don't end up like me alone, lonely and without love. You have that, you always had. Just reach out to him and be with him. In the arena I told you to survive. This time, Katniss, fight for him like he had always fought for you." I nodded in acceptance of what my heart already knew.

"Did he find me," I asked. He knew what I was asking.

"He'll always find you," Haymitch confirmed.

I faced each day with the same ache and longing for the sister I had lost. The mornings found me struggling to get out of bed with a heavy heart. I had not seem Peeta since that day, not that I blame him. I did in fact abandon him in my own bed. I pondered at the words Haymitch told me days before. I knew he was right. I just needed to get the courage to act on it. So I was surprised one evening as they all showed up on my doorstep. Haymitch, Delly, and Peeta entered my home without an invitation and set up dinner. I noticed that Peeta held a large box in his hand. I was too shocked to ask what the box contained as he walked straight into the kitchen. We all sat down for dinner. Peeta was seated at the far end of the table away from me. He neither spoke nor looked in my direction. He was polite and civil as I realized that whatever progress I made with Peeta was gone. We were back to square one like the first day he arrived.

With a heavy heart, I added my transgression to the list of mistakes I kept making with him. Why does his presence always left me flummoxed, tongue-tied and acting like some schoolgirl crushing on the cutest boy in school? I led a rebellion and killed people during a war. I am Katniss Everdeen, the Mockingjay. I was so engrossed with my despair that I didn't notice him leaving the table. He came back with a two-layer cake decorated with primroses. It was the most beautiful cake I've ever seen. Prim would have loved it. Tears dripped from my eyes. Peeta looked back with a small shy smile. "It's for Prim, I hope that it's okay that I…"

"Thank you," I sobbed. Haymitch stood and took me in his arms. Delly followed after him. I turned to Peeta last and launched myself at him. I didn't care that he stood in shock and in surprised at my gesture. He placed his arms around me as if I was glass. His embrace was gentle and comforting. I held on tight as I wept on his shoulders. He was still thin but solid. I wanted to hold onto him forever.

A minute or two later, I don't' know how long we held each other; someone cleared their throat. "Let's cut the cake," Delly interrupted as she took a long knife and handed it to me. I looked back at Peeta who had a sheepish look on his face. Delly was looking into his band for any signs of distress or anxiety.

"You did a great job, kid," Haymitch commented as he nudge Peeta by the elbow. He blushed further as Haymitch smirked at him.

I was happy to see that the knife in my hand didn't bother or alarm him in any way. I turned back to the cake in front of me. I didn't have to ask where or who made the cake. It was Peeta all over it. The pink script written, _'Happy Birthday Prim'_ and primroses gave it away. I grabbed Peeta's hand with my free hand and clutched it to my side. He was startled but kept still as I held on to him.

All night I didn't let go of him, I sat beside him as Delly served the rest of the cake. I held onto his hand when we had coffee. Not once did I turn to him or look at his direction, but held on to his hand. Delly smirked at me when I laid my head on Peeta's shoulder. I was so comfy and relaxed that I didn't notice that I kept yawning every five minutes.

"Hey, guys, I think it's time we all head out," Peeta announced. He prodded me a little, "This one can't keep from yawning all night. I think it's time for bed." I wished everyone goodnight and walked them out the door. I hugged Peeta last, my embrace longer than the others.

"Can you stay for a while," I whispered as I held on to him. He nodded as he let me go.

"Delly, I'm going to stay for a while. Why don't you head back to your place? I don't want you in my house alone," he said. Delly winked at me as I tried not to blush as I walked her to my door. I walked back to the kitchen to find Peeta putting the cake away in my icebox.

"Peeta, come here," I instructed as I extended my hand to him. My voice was firm but my legs shook. I led him back to the living room and made him sit beside me. "Thank you for the beautiful cake." I told him as I laid my head on his shoulder. For as second, he stiffened then placed an arm around my shoulder. I took a deep breath and relaxed against him.

"Why don't you head upstairs and get some sleep?" he asked in a quiet tone that calmed and soothed me.

"I needed to…I can't sleep and when I do I dream of Prim and…" I struggled with my words. I clutched onto his slim waist feeling the tone stomach muscles. I had visions of my hand running up and down his chest and stomach. The familiar ache returned between my legs. I shivered at the sensation and his close proximity.

"Hey, it's okay. We can stay here if you want," he said. He looked conflicted and uneasy. He was weary of my intention. Then, I remembered Haymitch's words, _'Fight for him like he had always fought for you.'_ "Sleep with me." The words blurted out of my mouth before my mind registered what I had said.

"What?" Peeta gasped in shock. "Katniss, I don't think that's…" He cheeks turned a deep red. He was adorable as his ears turned pink.

"What I meant is, stay with me in my bed," I said and hoped that my cheeks didn't turn the same shade. My neck felt warm and my hands sweaty. "I don't want to be alone and you're the only one that I trust." My voice shook. "I sleep better when you're with me, don't you?" I looked at him for a response. He nodded his head.

"Why don't you get ready for bed while I secure the house for the evening," Peeta said as he looked anywhere but at me.

I shook my head, "I don't want you to leave and if I go upstairs by myself I'm afraid that you'll leave," I admitted. "Please come with me." I took his hand and led him upstairs to my bedroom. "I'll be just a minute." I turned and left the room.

I went straight to my bathroom, washed my face and brushed my teeth as fast as I could. I didn't want to give him an opportunity to change his mind. I returned back to the room to find him staring out of my window. "It's your turn. There's a spare toothbrush on the counter and a fresh towel," I said as I sat on the edge of my bed. He walked into the bathroom.

A few minutes later, I looked up to find him staring at me. "Peeta, are you okay?" I asked. I watched him swallow a couple of times but no words were spoken. I got up and headed to the right side of the bed. I turned the covers over and crawled in. Peeta took a step forward. He sat on the bed and took off his shoes while leaving his socks on. I was disappointed when he took off his shirt to find him wearing a white undershirt. He kept his pants on but removed his belt. I didn't say a word when he crawled into the bed beside me and looked up at the ceiling.

There was a space between our bodies that felt like a mile separating us. I grabbed his hand as I turned to face him. His eyes were opened but looked vacant. I couldn't hold back the tears as they ran down my cheeks. He was here beside me but so far away. I didn't know how to reach him.

"Katniss?" Peeta said in a soft tone. "Shh, it's okay. I'm here." I sobbed when he turned and wrapped his arms around me as I placed my head on his chest. I cried for few minutes as he spoke comforting words to me. He mistook my anguish for my longing for Prim.

"Prim will never know pain or hurt ever again. She was loved and will always be loved," Peeta said. "She loved you more than anything and anyone. Her love will never die, Katniss. You moving forward would be the greatest gift you can give her on her birthday. She would want that for you." Peeta's voice was soft and calming. I felt my body relax and my mind at ease.

Safe. That is what I always felt whenever Peeta held me in his arms. I wanted to hold onto this feeling, his arms around me as the world slipped away from us. To feel safe and loved by him. I want a chance to love Peeta like he deserved to be loved. Johanna was right, I loved him because he was easy to love but to give him my heart, it was the one thing I never had the courage to do. This was my new arena and the monsters I had to fight were his distrust and weary heart. This was what I am fighting for. As I closed my eyes I had visions of a blond haired little boy running around my feet with gray eyes staring back at me.

The next morning I woke up to reach for Peeta. What I felt was an empty space beside me. Peeta has left me like I had abandoned him days before. The pain and rejection that seared my chest was deep. I fought the tears that tracked down my eyes. The bed felt cold indicating that he had left hours ago. I took a deep breath and gasped in shock. Around me was a fragrance I haven't smelled in years. The aroma of fresh bread hovered the early morning air. My Boy with the Bread had finally come home; Peeta was once again baking bread.

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><p><em><strong>Thanks for those who reviewed and favored my story. As always they are greatly appreciated.<strong>_


	11. Chapter 11 - Standing Still

Chapter 11 – Standing Still

_**AN: This is dedicated to my muse. I am forever grateful.**_

**Katniss POV – **

My senses are filled with the aroma of cheese buns. I tightened my arms around Peeta as I held on to him in front of my door. He was on his way back to his home after dropping off my favorite cheese buns. I caught him as he placed the basket on my porch. I ripped my door open and grabbed him. He had a look of shock on his face as I wrapped my arms around him. He returned my hug a second later. I wanted to kiss him but thought better of it.

"It's really early and I didn't want to disturb you," he explained his early morning delivery. The sun was peeking through the horizon. "I couldn't sleep so I thought I make a batch."

"Thank you, Peeta," I said. "And not just for the bread." My voice was muffled as I laid my head on his chest. His heart was beating so fast. I wondered if he felt mine beating hard as well.

The last few days have been the most peaceful I have ever felt in my entire life. He had been baking 'my cheese buns' since the first day he started baking. I giggled as I realized that the smell lingered on Peeta's shirt and skin. I remembered that morning waking up to an empty bed feeling the loss and rejection of Peeta leaving my side. I hated myself for knowing that was what he felt when I left him the first night we spent together. The pain was deep and it wounded me to my soul. I hurt him again without the intent to injure him but I left him just the same. I would have been angry and resentful had Peeta done that to me. But kind and gentle Peeta didn't leave me, not the way I left him and abandoned him without a word or explanation for my disappearance. I thought back with great fondness of the first morning he had started to bake again.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Flashback – a few days ago<strong>_

_I got off my bed without a thought of my appearance and ran down the stairs with gleeful anticipation of seeing Peeta in my kitchen with bread on my table. All sorts of scenarios ran through my mind as I would run up to him, hug him close and kiss him. Thanking him for staying with me and not leaving me alone. I was surprised and disappointed to find everyone, and I mean everyone from Delly, Haymitch, Johanna, Sae and Tamryn preparing breakfast as Peeta cooked eggs in the kitchen. Delly was making coffee, while Sae sat with Tamryn as Haymitch placed plates and cups on the table. Peeta had changed clothes from last night as I noticed flour dust on his arms, shirt and sleeves. It was a sight I will never forget. My Boy with the Bread woke up early to bake. My Peeta was on the slow journey to returning to me. _

_My trance was interrupted by Johanna's loud and boisterous voice._

"_Well, it's about time you woke up. Everyone had been waiting for you to get up and join us for breakfast," she announced as she led me by the arm. I sat down and looked back at the kitchen hoping for Peeta to join us. Delly waved a hand in front of my face._

"_Katniss? How are you feeling this morning?" Delly asked. "Did you get enough sleep?" She winked at me and snuck a look at Peeta as he walked into the dining room with a large platter of scrambled eggs._

"_I feel fine, Delly. I had the best sleep of my life," I answered as I blushed at Delly's implication._

"_I bet you did." Johanna added as she turned to her roommate. "So Peeta the next time you have a sleep over at Katniss' place, please let me know so I won't have a freak out that someone might have abducted you. I nearly had a heart attack when I saw your empty bed last night."_

"_Hey, we didn't know you were coming back so soon," Delly said. "You've been gone a few days. You should have at least told us when you were coming home." She stood in front of Johanna with coffee pot still in hand. It was a strange sight watching Delly reprimanding her. She just smirked back at the petite blond ignoring her._

"_Had I known that Peeta was in great hands, I wouldn't have rushed back," Johanna teased. "So how long have you two been slee…"_

"_That's enough, Johanna," Haymitch interrupted as he eyed Peeta who was quiet throughout the whole exchange. Peeta stared at the platter of eggs in front of him as he sat across me. I noticed his pink cheeks and ears; a blush tinged his fair skin. Peeta who was in need of a haircut with his long curly locks, rosy cheeks and glazed eyes was blushing. He looked up for a second and looked back down as I caught his eyes._

"_So Katniss, do you want coffee or tea this morning?" someone asked me._

"_Huh?" I said as I turned to the voice speaking to me. It was Delly at my side with a big smile planted on her face. "I'm sorry Delly, what did you say?"_

"_Katniss, you can stare at Peeta after breakfast. Do you want coffee or tea this morning?" she asked again in a slow teasing manner._

"_Tea, please," I croaked from embarrassment. I looked up to see everyone except Peeta smiling back at me. The atmosphere around us was light and easy. It was a good morning._

"_Peeta, can I please have a cheese bun by myself?" Tamryn asked. She was seated next to him as the famous bread was being passed along the table. Her eyes were big as saucers._

"_I don't know, Tamryn," Peeta spoke to her with a smile on his face. "Are you sure you can handle a whole one by yourself?" He turned to Sae who nodded her head for approval._

_Peeta placed a bun on her plate. She took a big bite on the cheesy bread. "Whoa, there, take a small bite and slow down," Peeta chuckled. It was wonderful to see him with Tamryn, gentle and sweet; like a father tending to his little girl. My heart skipped a beat as I watched him take the bread from Tamryn and cut manageable pieces for her._

"_This is so good, Peeta. I remember you telling me about your cheese buns," Johanna said as she too took a bite and chewed a mouth full. "Wow, you've been holding out on us." _

"_I told you they were the best," Delly chimed in as she placed one on her plate. Haymitch and Sae were both chewing away to bother with words of their enjoyment._

_I looked at Peeta who gazed back at me. I couldn't find the words to describe that moment as his eyes connected with mine. I glanced around the table as we all had breakfast together. The sense of joy and love surrounded me. It was a feeling I long to repeat with Peeta by my side. I mouthed, 'Thank you," to him. He smiled back._

* * *

><p><strong>End of flashback – <strong>

"Katniss?" a voice cut through my memory. I jumped and released my arms from Peeta. I was surprised and startled by the intrusion. "I didn't meant to disturb you…" Hazelle Hawthorne announced herself looking a bit uncomfortable of seeing me with Peeta. I grabbed his hand and felt him stiffen as Hazelle approached us.

"Hazelle," I said. "It's good to see you." I turned to Peeta who had a blank look on his face.

"I know it's been a long time, but I thought I come by to see you," she said. "Hello, Peeta. I don't know if you remembered me, I'm Hazelle Hawthorne." She walked up to us and extended her hand to him. He looked at her for a second as if he was trying to remember who she was.

"Yes, I remember you. Hello, Mrs. Hawthorne," he said in formal and well-mannered tone. He extended his hand in a short handshake. "I was just leaving. It's good to see you. I hope that you're family is well?" Underneath his cool demeanor, his hand shook a bit and his eyes were focused. He was so polite and civil; this was the Peeta I adored and admired during the games and the tour. Under pressure and stress he was charming as ever. However I can tell that her appearance jolted him knowing that he was in the presence of Gale's mother.

"We are all fine, Peeta. I thank you for asking," she said. She had a worried brow arched on her forehead as she looked at our clasped hands.

"Excuse me, Katniss, but I should get going," Peeta said as he turned to me. He bowed his head and left. My stomach dropped with the feeling of him leaving my side.

"He looks well, Katniss," Hazelle admitted as she watched him head towards his home. "He needs to gain some weight. He's so skinny." Spoken like a true mother concern for a well fare of a child.

"We know," I said and sighed. "We all have tried to get him to eat more but since coming back it's been difficult for him to stomach more than a bowl full." It was apparent whenever I would wrap my arms around him. His waist was slim and limbs scrawny. We stood there in awkward silence. "I'm sorry, Hazelle, where are my manners? Would you like to come inside?" _'I'm Effie,'_ my mind echoed. She would be so proud of me right now. I walked over to my door and entered my home. She followed after me eyeing my fancy hi-tech door.

"Please make yourself comfortable while I get us some tea," I said as I marched to my kitchen and set a kettle to my stove. I took a deep breath and walked back to my living room.

"I hope you don't mind my visit. I thought under the circumstances I would pay my respects," she said as she placed her hands on her lap. "I know that it was Prim's birthday a few days ago."

My breath hitched at the memory of her birthday. "I went to see you that day but Mr. Abernathy told me that you were not seeing visitors at the time." I nodded my head in confirmation. "I would have paid a you a call earlier, but it's been a difficult adjustment coming back to 12."

"It's all right, Hazelle," I assured her. "No need for you to worry over me. You have your own family to take care of. I've been taking of myself for a long time now. Coming back to 12 has been to difficult for everyone, I think." It was true. The first few months were a blur to me. If it wasn't for Haymitch and Sae I don't know where I would be right now.

"Besides, it was not a good time for me to receive visitors that day, Hazelle," I apologized. "I didn't want to see anyone."

"I know, Gale told me as well," she said. "He stopped by a few times, and Mr. Abernathy was adamant that you were not taking visitors. You can imagine Gale's reaction to not being able to see you." I didn't realize that Gale had paid me a visit. I didn't even know he came back to 12. I sighed in relief for Haymitch's intervention and protective instinct.

" I didn't realize that he was back," I said.

"He was worried about you. He knew that it was a difficult time for you," she told. Irritation and aggravation simmered in my belly. Who the hell was he to be concern like a lover for my wellbeing? I had already written him off out of my life after his attempt to attack Peeta weeks ago.

"I'm fine, Hazelle. Please tell Gale that I'm well and doing fine," I said in a dismissive tone. I tried to check my anger in but Hazelle had been a like a mother to me since my father's passing. She didn't deserve my wrath and impatience. She saw my anger and discomfort of mentioning her son's name.

"I don't understand, Katniss," she continued. "He should be by our side in times like this."

I glanced back at her in confusion. "In times like this?" I repeated.

"If you intend to have a relationship with him, you can't push him away, Katniss," she reprimanded me. "You need to let him take care and support you." I inwardly scoffed in seething anger and distaste as she continued with her concern. "He loves you and wants to be there for you. I know that times are confusing and Peeta needs care, but you should not be giving Peeta mixed signals in your relationship with him." She paused. "People do not understand the bond you have with him. And Gale has been very understanding and patient. But it's time that you let Peeta go. He's not your responsibility anymore."

How dare she dictate my behavior and decision to take care of Peeta. Even if I was with Gale and I'm not, she was lecturing me on how to navigate my relationship with Peeta and her son. Her damn over bloated egocentric son who didn't know how to let things go. Especially with his delusion of 'our relationship.'

I eyed her for a moment and sighed to myself. My patience was wearing thin, not only had she interrupted my time with Peeta she was telling to let him go and what to do. "What has Gale been telling you about me and him, Hazelle?" I asked as my eyes narrowed.

"Listen, Katniss," she said in a soft tone. "I'm only looking after my son's best interest. I don't meant to interfere but Peeta is no longer a concerned of yours. Gale loves you and you love him. Don't have Peeta come between you again."

"Again?" I erupted.

"He came between you and Gale after the first reaping," she explained. "Gale was patient then, but the games are over. He told me everything, how you pretended to be in love with Peeta and married him to survive. You don't have to pretend anymore. That time is over. You and Gale helped free Panem from the Capitol. It's time that you reaped the rewards by devoting yourself to your relationship. You've gone through so much together."

I laughed so hard I almost fell off the sofa. Hazelle looked at me as if I lost my mind. The tears in my eyes blurred my vision. I can hear Gale regaling his stories to his mother of how we stood together, fighting side by side against the odds. He painted us as two lovers and companions fighting for Panem.

"I don't know what your son has been telling you, but," I said as I contained my laughter, "Gale and I are not, nor have we ever been in a relationship. He has and has always been my best friend. Nothing more."

"That is not what he's been telling me," Hazelle contracted me. "And if I remember correctly that is not what I saw in District 13. Weren't you developing a relationship with him back then?"

"There wasn't anything going on between us. I was in a middle of rallying the districts and spear heading a rebellion," I said as I defended my actions. "He was there to comfort and support me, nothing more. When did you think I had time for romance or developing a relationship with Gale? We were both busy in the campaign to free the districts from Snow. If he read more than that, that's his problem. As for Peeta, my feelings and relationship with him are my own and no one else's concern."

"Gale said that what you had with Peeta wasn't real but manufactured by you and Mr. Abernathy," she said. "He said that Snow made you pretend to be in love with Peeta."

My mind spun with guilt and shame. It was true that I was forced to pretend that I loved Peeta. But it didn't cancel the fact that I was in a state of confusion for my feelings for him. I knew I felt something but I was in survival mode and the concept of love was foreign to me. Peeta understood that and never pushed for anything more than friendship.

"Now that it's over, Gale said that you're just confused and feel obligated to taking care of him," she continued. "He told me that you feel a sense of duty and guilt because of what had happened to him at the Capitol. But it's time for you to let Peeta go. For Gale's sake."

"Hazelle, you've known me most of my life," I reminded her. "When have I ever been confused or not certain of what's on my mind? Please understand this, I do not feel any obligation or sense of duty as Gale says about Peeta. I chose Peeta on my own free will. I want Peeta. I chose him. Gale has not been willing to accept my choice and my decision."

"I see, so all this time he's been lying to me," Hazelle realized. "I see now that I was wrong to assume that what Gale told me was true. I cannot believe my son would tell me a bold face lie." She sighed with a look of confusion on her face. "Telling me that you're not in love with Peeta but feel sorry for him. I should have known better to ask you for the truth. It didn't make any sense. I couldn't understand why you two kept your distance for so many months if you were both in a relationship."

"I'm sorry that you're that disappointed," I said.

"I am disappointed," she revealed. "I'm disappointed that my son has been lying to me and fabricating such an elaborate lie. I should have confronted him when I saw the video of you to fighting at the train station."

I had forgotten about that. My reunion with Gale all those months ago left me angry and resentful. Who knew where I would be with Peeta had he not shown up that fateful day.

"I didn't mean for that to happen," I said. "He just showed up suddenly and…"

"No need to explain, Katniss. I believe that I have to have a long conversation with my son," she said. "And I owe you an apology."

"No you don't," I admitted. "Gale should be the one apologizing to the both of us for his lies and deception." Hazelle nodded in agreement.

"So you are in love with Peeta?" she asked. Her question took me by surprise. Other than Haymitch, Delly and Johanna, they were the only ones who knew the truth of my feelings for Peeta.

I couldn't reveal to Hazelle of what I had not been able to admit to Peeta first. "What I feel for him is my business. But what I can tell you is that Gale and I are not in a relationship. Nor did we have one while we were in District 13. I know that my behavior contradicts that. But I was lonely and scared. I was scared about everything. I sought comfort with Gale. I…used him. _'As I have used Peeta during the games._' I held my breath. "As for Gale, after what he's done, I cannot and will not be able to forgive him. Even if he does accept my feelings for Peeta, we are no longer friends."

"I don't understand, Katniss," Hazelle said in surprise. "What has he done to tear your friendship apart? What is so horrible to destroy years of companionship and friendship?"

"You have to ask him," I said trying to suppress the tears that formed in my eyes. "Ask him what's his involvement in regards to Prim's death."

Hazelle gasped, "What do you mean Prim's death?"

"Just ask him to tell you the truth," I said. The pain of losing Prim was still fresh in my mind and my heart. "I'm sorry but I don't want to talk about it anymore. Thank you for remembering Prim's birthday, but I am fine. I have family and friends who support and comfort me."

"He's been your family too, Katniss," she said. "Don't give up on what you had with him. All he's ever wanted was you."

I cringed. Throughout my time with Gale, he had never attempted or expressed his true feelings for me. By the time he did, I was too conflicted and resented the emotion placed upon me. Both Gale and Peeta declared their feelings for me at the wrong time and place. I had not been receptive to either of them.

"I never wanted or sought that kind of relationship with anyone, Hazelle," I explained. "Love, marriage and children were something I never intended to have with anyone, even with Peeta and especially with Gale. He was my friend. I didn't think of him that way."

"I think Gale knew that," Hazelle said. "But he always thought that maybe, with time and patience he could have made you change your mind. I mean, how long did you think you could have survived without a husband to care for you? He loved you and wanted to take care of you."

Why does society assume that without a husband a woman couldn't survive? It was this archaic social obligation and way of life that forced women to marry or do anything to survive. Even to marry without love in a relationship. I did love Gale but not in the same way my mother loved my father. I saw what love did to my mother and to me and Prim.

"I loved your son like a brother," I said. "I have told Gale time and again. If I lost him as my friend and brother because he's too stubborn to accept my choice, then so be it. I have a new family now."

"I'd like to think that I am family too, Katniss," Hazelle said. "I know that you're mother isn't here. Please don't think that losing her didn't crush her too."

My mother was another sore subject in my life. To be abandoned emotionally was bad enough, but to be abandoned yet again to live on my own was another matter. It was hard to see her point of view. What kind of mother abandoned her children when they had needed them the most? It was unforgiveable and despicable.

"Have you seen or spoken to her since your arrival at 12?" she asked. I shook my head. My throat tightened as I tried to speak without breaking down.

"Nor do I expect her to," I answered. "She has pretty much written me off of her life living at District 4."

"Katniss, please give her a chance…" she pleaded.

"A chance to do what exactly?" I interjected. "No, this subject is over and nothing you say or do will make me want to continue this conversation." I wrapped my arms around my waist. I felt lost and angry. My day had started well when Peeta appeared on my doorstep. I had hoped to spend the day with him. It was ruined with the appearance of Gale's mother on my doorstep, playing matchmaker for her son.

"I'm sorry, Katniss. Please forgive me for interfering and my misunderstanding of your relationship with Gale," she added. "Just please know that I am here for you. Your friendship with Gale may be over, but I am still your friend."

"Thank you, I would like that," I admitted since she was the only mother figure in my life. The thought stung as I thought about my own mother living in District 4.

"As for Peeta, I'm happy that he's the one that helped you find love," Hazelle said. "Since the games, I knew that he loved you sincerely and wholeheartedly. He was so smitten. Everyone can see it. I think even Gale did too. You're lucky to have each other after everything you both have been through." I hugged her in thanks for her understanding even if it meant breaking her son's heart.

"I'm sorry Hazelle," I said. "I don't know what Gale thought he could accomplish by lying to you about our relationship. It was never my intention to lead him on."

"Gale has never been the same since you were reaped," she said. "I don't think he realized how much you've changed. How much we all have changed."

I shook my head in agreement. You couldn't help but be altered after surviving the games. It changed you in ways you couldn't anticipate. You saw people and the world in a different manner. Peeta and all the victors understood that. Gale couldn't. He couldn't admit that I changed too. He wanted the old Katniss before the reaping. That is whom he fell in love with and he couldn't love and accept who I am now.

"And Katniss," Hazelle eyed me with a smile on her face. "You can't help who you fall in love with. You of all people should know that." I thought of my seam father who fell for a merchant girl and married her against all odds.

With a promise to keep in touch regardless of my relationship with Gale, we parted in good spirits even though our relationships were changed between us.

That night after dinner, I knew what I had to do. My talk with Hazelle sparked a fire within me. There were no more class divisions, no more games and no one to come between us. We had only spent that one night together. I wanted more but was afraid to ask. With a confident stride on my step, I walked over to Peeta's house and knocked on his door. He opened it with a surprised and shocked look in his face. I didn't even see Johanna behind me. Her presence didn't register until I took his hand and led him upstairs. I tried not to blush so hard as Johanna stared after us. Her face held a wide and toothy smile as she nodded in approval. I was being clear and direct with my intentions. What I couldn't say with words, I hope was understood by my actions. Without a word, we prepared ourselves for the night and slipped into bed together. I reached over to Peeta and placed my head on his chest. I held on to him all night.

The next morning I found myself alone in Peeta's bed. As I expected he was downstairs baking bread. The aroma saturated the air. Thom was right; it was the smell that will always remind me of home and most of all, Peeta. I walked down to find him concentrating on kneading bread in his kitchen.

"Peeta," I said. "I'm going back to my house for breakfast. Why don't you and Johanna join me when you're done baking?"

"Okay, we'll be there in 20 minutes. I'll see if my roommate is up and about." he said as he pulled a sheet of buns out of his oven.

After breakfast with lightness I had not felt in a long time, I dared to visit the one place I avoided since returning to 12. My meadow; the sanctuary from the seam and the rest of Panem. My haven; the one place that belonged only to my father and me. Though I had shared this with Gale, I had never brought him with me. It was a sacred place.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. The air drifted through my nose with a scent of wildflowers, leaves and earth. I felt reawaken, a rebirth and healing of my scarred heart and soul. I will always miss Prim. Nothing and no one can replace the love I had for my dear little sister. I felt her presence with me as if she placed a hand on my shoulder. Peeta and Haymitch were right. For as longed I as love and remember her, she will never be forgotten. She will always be with me in spirit. My peace and tranquility was disrupted by a voice I had not wanted to hear for a long time.

"Catnip?" Gale said. There he stood all in black, shoulders straight with his arms on his sides. He looked grim as his eyes focused on me, his mouth in a straight line. There was a glint in his eyes that frightened me that I raised my bow at him. "I've been wanting to talk to you for days."

"Well, you found me," I said as I dropped my bow lower but not placed it aside. "It hasn't been a good time for me, Gale. You should know that."

"I would have been there for you," he announced. "I should have been with you when you needed me."

I blinked a couple of times. Did he honestly think that I wanted the one person who caused my sister's death to comfort me on her birthday? _'He's delusional,_' the thought popped in my mind.

"You were the last person I needed or wanted to see, Gale," I said as I checked my anger in. My grip on my bow and arrowed tighten.

"How many times do I have to tell you that it wasn't my fault," he seethed. He brought out his anger instead of understanding. If he wanted to comfort me, anger was the least of the emotion he the right to have. "You won't even see my side or point of view."

My mind spun realizing that I was going in circles with my attempt to be patient with Gale. He wanted me and he couldn't stand the idea of my rejection of his love and affection. But what probably stung more or bruised his ego was my desire and choice to be with Peeta. Then I remembered the conversation I had with Johanna months ago. I drew my bow down to my side and held the arrow in my right hand.

"I love you, I had loved you all my life," he proclaimed. "I should have told you from the start. I may have not loved you since I was five, but I loved you just as fiercely and maybe even more so. I know you, Katniss like I know the back of my hand. He…will never understand what we've been through, what we had. We loved each other before he came along." I knew he was drawing comparisons to Peeta's devotion and love for me. "We belong together. We were a team and we can be again if just let yourself."

I was never his to begin with. I never belonged to anyone. He was right; I didn't let myself be with anyone. But that had already changed without my knowing or acknowledging it. It or HE crept up on me like a sun on the horizon.

I knew what I had to do both Johanna and Haymitch predicted it. "I love you Gale," I said with a clear and strong voice. He smiled so wide as if something in him burst. "But I'm in love with Peeta. I love you like a brother who protected and supported me through the worst times in my life. But I don't love you like I love him." The words flowed with such ease that something in me lifted. I felt guilty since my first declaration of love for Peeta wasn't him. I announced it to Gale instead. "I desire him, I want him with a passion I never knew that existed in me." His happy face dropped and anger replaced it. "He is and has been all I ever wanted or desired. I love Peeta Mellark not you Gale. Do you understand and hear me clearly. I don't want to be with you that way, I don't feel for you like the way I feel for Peeta."

"You never gave me the chance to be with you," he spat in anger. "You could have felt the same way with me if given the chance."

"It wouldn't have happened because I was with you everyday, and that thought never crossed my mind," I explained. "We would have never worked. We have so much anger, resentment and bitterness between us, it would have destroyed us. You wanted things I could never give you."

"You can't say that," he responded. "Ever since the reaping you changed, you're not the same Katniss I knew and loved." He was right. I came back different; I was disillusioned, frightened and resentful of the things that had happened to me. I resented Peeta for most of it. Peeta brought out things and feelings I never contemplated before. "Even now with your new friends, they changed you. Before the first game, you would have never been friends with Delly Cartwright and her Capitol boyfriend. She's stupid and vapid to be considered as a friend when we were in school. Johanna would have pissed you off. Haymitch, a drunk and useless old man is part of your new family. And bread boy," his voice dripped with disgust. "He amongst all of them changed you."

"I am different. The games changed me. The war turned my life up side down," I yelled. "And you killed my sister." My voice grew hoarse as I looked at him. "How much more do you need to understand that I wasn't in love with you even before Prim's death? I needed your support and comfort as a friend."

"Because you never gave me the chance. I have never loved anyone but you," he said as he took a step forward and grabbed me by the arms. "Let me show you." He dipped his head and kissed me hard. I was shocked by his bold move even now. I squirmed from his grip. I was certain that I would have bruises on my forearms. He tried to force my lips open with his tongue that I turned my head.

"Stop Gale, you're hurting me," I gasped.

"And you're hurting me with your denial of what we are to each other. You love me not him," he pleaded. His grip lessened. It was enough for me to raise my right hand and swing the arrow across his face. The tip grazed his face that he reacted in pain and shock. He released me and placed a hand on his bloody cheek. This was the third time that I have struck him, what more does he need to get a clue?

I stepped back and drew my bow and arrow. "Don't ever touch me again," I erupted in anger and humiliation. "Just step away from me. What must I do to convince you that I don't want you?"

"Shoot me, kill me because that will be the only thing that will stop me from wanting you," he gasped as he took a step towards me. He placed a hand on his taser.

"Don't!" I threatened him as I pointed an arrow to his hand. "What do you think you're going to do? Taser me? Walk away Gale. This is over. We're over."

"Catnip?" he pleaded.

"My name is Katniss. Catnip doesn't exist anymore," I said. "Just like he boy I used to know, the boy I hunted with. Just leave before you destroy any fond memory I had of him." Gale looked at me with anger and shame in his eyes.

"I love you, Katniss," he exclaimed. "I'm sorry you can't see how good we are together. He will never make you happy."

"He already has," I corrected him. "Please just turn around and walk away. What happened here between us, I want to forget." I drew my bow at him. He turned. "And Gale, one more thing, don't you ever touch Peeta in any way. If anything happens to him because of you, I will come after you." It wasn't a threat; it was a promise. I lost Prim because of him and there is hell to pay if anything happened to Peeta. He shot me an angry look and walked away.

I ran home as fast as I could. My heart was beating so fast and hard that I thought it was going to burst. The encounter with Gale left me scared and angry. He became someone I didn't recognize and the unfamiliar scared me. He frightened me. And when I'm scared I get angry, I'm angry at Gale for our confrontation and I'm angry at Hazelle for disrupting my plans. I leaned against my door thankful for the safety my home provided. I would have sought comfort from Peeta but didn't want to taint my time with him of lingering thoughts of Gale and our encounter. I stayed indoors and reflected on the visit that I had with the Hawthornes. They were people who I once felt safety and comfort. That feeling was now a distant memory. I am saddened at the realization of how much I had lost after the rebellion.

For dinner I ate the rest of the soup I made the night before with some cheese buns. Peeta made sure that I never was out of his bread. As I finished washing the dishes, I heard a scream coming out of Peeta's house. It was a female scream and I realized that it's Johanna. I ran out my door with bow on hand. Haymitch, Delly, Bron and I reached his door. As we all rushed in it was a sight I have never thought I would ever see. A tearful Peeta held on to a crying and sobbing Johanna. Her nails were digging into his back as I watched Peeta winced in pain. He saw all of us enter his home.

He extended a hand in gesture to stop us from entering further into the room. "Please just stop, all of you. Stand back," he instructured as he placed his hand over Johanna's back in a calm and soothing gesture. Delly pulled Haymitch and me back.

"Peeta, are you guys okay?" Haymitch asked. He had a wicked polearm in his hand. The tip held a long and narrow point like an end of an arrow. Bron had his taser in his right hand. It was odd seeing him in long dark brown pants with a cream colored T-shirt. He was unrecognizable without his uniform.

"Hey, it's okay, Johanna. I'm here like I said I would be. They're not coming to hurt us. See it's just Haymitch, Katniss and Delly. See? And you remember Bron. He's our friend." He talked in soft and calm tone, whispering to her. "We're okay, Jo. You, me, and Annie are all right. We're home with people who love us and take care of us." He looked up at Delly and gestured to her. "Delly, you remember her right? She's been taking care of us for some time now. Telling us her really bad jokes and stories."

She walked past us and knelt down to hug them both. "What happened Peeta?" she asked as Johanna continued to cry. "Shh, Jo, it's me Delly, remember me?" Johanna whimpered and sobbed into Peeta's shirt.

"I'm sorry, Jo. It's my fault," Peeta said as tears tracked down his face. "The washing machine wasn't working so I was soaking my shirts in my tub." He held her close to him as he winced from her Johanna's tight grip.

I didn't understand what he meant. "She was triggered by the water in the tub," he explained. Then, I knew. Haymitch once explained that Johanna was tortured by submerging her head in water via drowning her or placing a cloth over her face as her abusers poured water over her nose and mouth. "I'm sorry, Johanna. I'm sorry," he repeated as he comforted her. "It's my fault."

"I thought…" Johanna hiccupped, "I thought it was you in the...water." Peeta closed his eyes for a second. "I thought he…got you and I was too late to save you. And I froze. I felt helpless."

"I'm okay, see. It's me," he said. "I didn't mean to scare you."

Johanna pulled back and smacked him on his chest. "You're a jerk for scaring me like that," she cried then grabbed him to her. "I really thought you were in the tub and that asshole drowned you. I hate you. "

"I hate you too, Jo," Peeta smiled and took a deep breath. "You promised me one day that you're going to teach me how to swim like Finnick taught you." She laughed back and ruffled Peeta's hair. They eyed each other as if they held a silent conversation between them. A moment later, she turned her head and noticed us hovering around them.

"And what are you guys staring at? Can you see that Peeta and I were having a moment?" Johanna bellowed at us. Her voice was shaky but it was Johanna returning to us. All bark and no bite. She was embarrassed for catching her in a weak moment. After all this time, she had never revealed her soft side. I remembered the day I saw her after their rescue. She was emaciated, bald, angry and defiant. She was a hardened victor when we first met but after the Capitol, she wore her pain and experience like a protective armor. Her wall equaled Peeta's; it was formidable, tall and impenetrable.

"Well, excuse us, Johanna," Delly said as she stood and placed her hands on her hips. "Next time you or Peeta scream your lungs out, we'll just ignore you. I mean, how dare we enter your home scared our of our minds because we thought something happened to one of you."

It was silent for a moment or two until Haymitch broke the tension in the air. "So do you want us to get you a glass of water or something?" Haymitch said. Johanna's eyes narrowed as Delly gasped at his crass comment.

"That wasn't funny, Haymitch," Delly shrieked.

"What?" Haymitch responded as he shrugged his shoulders. "You're boyfriend thought it was funny." Bron was hiding a laugh behind his hand.

"You're an asshole, Haymitch," Johanna guffawed. Everyone broke into laughter. Delly knelt down to Peeta and Johanna.

"Don't mind them, they're just insensitive idiots," Delly said to Peeta and Johanna as if she was the one affronted. "Just so you know, I hate you both." Johanna continued to laugh as she was strangled by Delly's tight embrace.

I envied their camaraderie. Johanna and Peeta's friendship and bond was forged from their abuse in the Capitol. I didn't envy that. Their closeness reminded of what I had lost with Gale, his support and friendship. I looked at Peeta who eyes twinkled behind the tears. I realize that with patience and time, I pray that Peeta will feel at ease and comfortable with me as he is with Delly and Johanna. He loved me through the worse times of my life; a time when I was confused and in denial of my feelings for him. I just need to be patient with him.

"Group hug everyone," Delly giggled as she extended an arm to receive Bron who ran up to her.

"Aw, Delly," Haymitch whined. "How old are you? Five? I don't need this sentimental crap."

"Get over here, old man," Delly commanded. Haymitch harrumphed but walked behind Peeta and placed a hand on his shoulder. With Johanna in the center, I wrapped my arms around Bron and Peeta. I may have lost my mother and the Hawthornes as part of my family. My friendship and relationship with Haymitch, Delly, and Johanna with Peeta by my side is a gift I won't take for granted.

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><p><strong>Peeta POV –<strong>

The night air is cool and refreshing. It felt right having my new family around me. It was a feeling I thought I never would have again after the loss of my kin. I miss my family especially my father. He was a weak man but I loved him nonetheless. But my sense of calm and security was momentary. After our group hug Johanna wiped her teary eyes and revealed a secret she kept to herself since arriving at 12. With the difficult times ahead of us, we swore to each to other that there would be no more secrets amongst us. Johanna kept her secret long before we made that vow.

"I owe you an apology, Peeta," she announced. "I know that we said we would never keep anything from you. No more keeping secrets, but I have and I'm sorry."

"What is it, Jo," I asked. My anxiety spiked as I felt my hands shook. Delly stood beside me as Katniss placed a hand on my arm.

"For some time now, I've been getting letters," she said. I gasped in horror. "The letters…they are not about me but about you, Peet. They are more of a warning…for me to stay away from you kinda letter. You know… 'if I value my life I should stay away from you' message."

"Why didn't you say anything?" Haymitch asked.

"I didn't take it seriously at first and this happened before we knew about the stalking" Johanna explained. "I didn't think it was related."

"You should have still said something to us," Katniss reprimanded. "You shouldn't be handling that on your own."

"I'm more than capable of taking care of myself," Johanna argued. "I didn't want to add more stress for Peeta. He's got enough to worry about let alone worry about me."

I didn't know what to think. She had kept her secret all this time to protect me. Should I be angry? Or should I be scared? Anyone associated to me is in danger; I knew that but her recent revelation crystallize that reality. First Delly and now Johanna, there is a certainty that Katniss is next. I can't keep anyone safe. I couldn't keep Katniss safe in the games and Johanna in the Capitol. I looked at Delly. She had a frightened look on her face. Bron had his arm around her. I'm glad she has Bron. He will protect. But who will protect Haymitch and Katniss? Dear god, what about Greasy Sae and Tamryn? My thoughts spun in a whirlwind of anger, confusion and helplessness.

"Please don't be angry, Peet," Johanna said. "When I saw your clothes floating in the tub…I freaked. I remembered what happened in the Capitol and what they did to me."

"Of course he's not mad," Delly intervened as she stood next to Johanna. "Right, Peeta?" I couldn't answer her. I looked at the two in front of me. These two women stood by me as the rest of Panem abandoned me. I looked at Haymitch and Katniss. They too were left to their own devise. Panem was healing as our world collapsed. Everyone was benefitting from the war. Katniss liberated Panem and her reward was exile. Haymitch who had devoted himself for the rebellion was forgotten for his part to free the districts from the Capitol. I still feel that my life is not my own. After the first arena, I knew that there would never be 'a happily every after' for me. I'm tired of being hunted, chased and manipulated by forces beyond my control. Now there is more at stake.

"Peeta, please say something," Johanna said.

"I'm not angry, Jo," I said. "I'm disappointed and upset. Don't keep things from me. Just don't." I turned to hide what my eyes could not conceal. I knew she meant well but it was a sore topic for me.

"Okay, uhm…I can't stay here tonight. Do you think we can sleep outside, like go camping?" she asked. After the rebellion, Johanna and I spent a few months in the hospital together before they released her earlier than me. Whenever she had an episode, she felt claustrophobic and had screaming fits of feeling boxed in. One night, we snuck out to the rooftop at the hospital and slept under the stars. The next morning they couldn't find us, and the whole hospital went on alert and chaos ensued. When we returned to our rooms, we got a thrashing of our lives that we would never forget from Nurse Seaver. Dr. Aurelius was more understanding and permitted us to sleep there as long as we informed the staff of our intentions.

"I don't think that's a good idea, Johanna," Bron said. "The woods aren't secure. You're too out in the open. Where would you go and feel safe? Besides, it too late."

"I'm not saying that we pack up and go into the woods," Johanna explained. "I thought we could camp out in the backyard. You know, as long as we're just outside."

"That's not safe. You're not safe staying out there," Haymitch added. "Look what happened to Peeta."

"Well, I can't stay here," Johanna said as she shuddered. "I'm crawling out of my skin. Besides, I'm not going sleep. I can't sleep. I just need to be out in the open."

"If you two are going to camp outside then Bron and I are going to join you," Delly said as she looked at her boyfriend. "I've never been camping out before. Sounds fun."

"Delly, you do realize that we're going to sleep in a sleeping bag," Bron added, "and sleep on the cold hard floor?"

"Bron I'm not an idiot," Delly exclaimed in exasperation. "I know that. I've slept on the floor before. Don't treat me like some princess from the Capitol." Bron pulled Delly aside as they argued amongst themselves.

"Well, you kids have fun. You're going to do what you want to do and I know not to argue with any of you," Haymitch announced. "I'm too old to be sleeping and camping out on the ground when I have a nice soft and warm bed at home." He turned and walked out.

"I'm joining you too," Katniss said as I turned to her. Hoping to walk her home.

"Uh, Katniss. I don't think that's a good idea." I said. There was a target on Johanna's back. I didn't want Katniss to have one too. And knowing Delly she'd gladly have one painted on her to protect me. These women are going to be the death of me. "You should go back to your house."

"You can't tell me what to do, Peeta," Katniss admonished. She crossed her arms across her chest. Katniss stood in front of me, stubborn and willful as ever. "Don't you think there's safety in numbers?" I opened my mouth to argue but noticed the scowl on Katniss' face. She didn't look happy. We stared at each other. I battled with her stubbornness against my resolve. She didn't survive with everything she lived through to get hurt because of me. After a few seconds her face softened. "Besides, I haven't slept outside in years and it's a beautiful night to sleep under the stars." Wow, she changed tactics to have her own way. _'Is she flirting with me?'_ I gulped in nervous tension as my eyes widen. I've been here before and it's not going to happen.

I looked at Johanna for help. She shrugged her shoulders and made no attempt to support me. Strike one for women's solidarity. It seemed that Bron lost his argument too.

"So Bron and I are going back to the house to pick up our sleeping bags and what not," Delly announced as if she won a long arduous battle. Bron looked back at me in a sheepish manner. I foresee that life with these women will be long and eventful. That's if I survived the experience.

Knowing that I lost this battle, I relented. However, Katniss was right. We are safer in numbers, but I need to find a way to stop the threat on the three important women in my life. I hope that I will find a solution soon. There is no way that I'm letting another person in my life be taken away from me. Even if it meant killing to protect those I love.

_**AN: Happy New Years everyone. Thanks for the reviews and comments. You guys are awesome for taking the time to write them. I hope that everyone is enjoying the fic so far. Until the next update, have a great week.**_


	12. Chapter 12 - Entering into Unknown

Chapter 12 – Entering into Unknown Territory

**AN: Thanks again for the reviews and comments. All rights belong to Suzanne Collins. Until the next update, I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

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><p>Half an hour later, Johanna and I are outside in the backyard. She placed her bag down and turned to me. "Peeta, are you sure you're okay with us staying out here?" she asked.<p>

"Why wouldn't I be?" I said as I placed a log in the pit.

"It's not exactly a good idea for you to be out in the open when you know who is out there,' she explained.

"Oh, I forgot about that," I said as I rubbed the back of my neck. My main concern was Johanna's mental state that I had forgotten about my stalker. "What could possibly happen? You, Bron and Katniss are out here with me. You said I'm safe as long we stick together."

"True, but we are taking a big chance out here," she said. "It was selfish of me to suggest it." I shrugged my shoulders. I didn't' care at the moment. The thought of sleeping out in the open air appealed to me.

"It wasn't and I'll be fine, Johanna," I said. "I trust you to watch over me. We take care of each other, remember?"

"We all do, Peeta," she said. "Beside, Katniss would never forgive me if anything happened to you." I blushed and hope that the fire hid the tinge on cheeks. I stoked the logs in my fire pit when I heard Johanna shriek in amusement. "Delly, what the hell." I turned and found Delly carrying two fluffy pillows as Bron carried a large inflatable bed and a blanket. He had a resigned look on his face.

"What? I want to be comfortable sleeping outside," she explained as she instructed her boyfriend where to place the bed on the ground.

"You're not supposed to be comfortable," Johanna commented. "The whole point is to sleep outside in the elements with a sleeping bag, not bring your bedroom with you. What else did you bring? An electric blanket?"

"You do your camping out and I'll do mine, thank you very much," Delly snickered. "And I don't' need an electric blanket." She eyed Bron who was in the process of inflating their bed.

"Leave her alone, Johanna," I said. "Let her have her fun. Why don't you help me bring over some more wood so we won't run out for the night?" She took one look at Delly and sighed as she reached down to her sleeping bag and picked up an axe. "Jo, you don't need that. You chopped enough wood to last us for months."

"I don't feel safe without it out here," she explained as she grasped the weapon with both hands. "Who knows what's out there."

"We're not going far, Jo," I laughed. My tool shed was ten yards away from the house where the wood were stacked. When she first received the axe, she went on mad chopping spree; cutting everything in sight and throwing her axe at a distance. After months of her recovery she had gained some weight back and went through a rigorous training to get back into shape. She was an incredible sight. It reminded me of the Johanna I met during the Victory Tour. "How are you going to carry wood and your axe at the same time?" She shrugged her shoulders and placed her axe back on the ground.

Twenty minutes later, we are all set up for the night. We placed our bags along side the fire pit so that we were facing the fire. Katniss showed up with her sleeping bag ten minutes after Bron and Delly. She arranged her bag in a discreet distance next to mine. How she figured out which was my sleeping bag, I'll never know. My bet it was Delly. Katniss was sitting on her bag when I noticed that she had placed it behind me. I recognized her bow and quiver between us. I had tucked my knife in my bag as Bron placed his taser beneath his pillow.

"Katniss, you can't place your sleeping bag there," I said. "Get up." She looked stunned. I waited for her to get up. She had a hurt and embarrassed look on her face. I removed my bag and dragged hers closer to the fire then placed mine behind her. "You need to be closer to the fire." I heard her sigh in relief. Johanna smirked at me as I gave her a dirty look. Did she think I would hurt Katniss in any way? I may have resolved to not have her in my life romantically but I wouldn't hurt her in purpose. "Here, use my pillow. I'll get another one." Katniss sat back down and looked at me as if she wanted to say something.

She had a look in her eyes I've never seen before. I turned my head in confusion and uncertainty. I've never felt this way with her before. My hijacked mind tells me she's dangerous. Another part of me felt numb. I have been feeling this since we've started sharing her bed. I've built a wall around my heart that I'm afraid to free it. It was the only way I knew how to survive when I was in the Capitol. As long as she was away and safe from Snow, I didn't' care what happened to me. I was prepared to die and Snow knew it. When they finally used the tracker jacker, I lost control of my life and my self-being. The memories I had were shiny moments of Mutt Katniss as she killed my family over and over. Katniss Everdeen was someone I didn't recognize. It took months recovering in the hospital to separate what I thought I knew and what really was. With the passage of time, I still cannot distinguish other memories of my life. Are they real? Is this love? I love Johanna, Delly and Haymitch like family, but with Katniss she confused me. Can I let myself love with her again? When my memories returned I remembered the games and her pretending to love me. I realized that my feeling were unrequited. I felt lost, angry and humiliated. Even now she still rendered me in state of confusion. I knew that I had loved Katniss most of my life but after years of her indifference I given up hope of her returning my affection. I'm afraid to love her again.

"Peeta?" Johanna questioned. "You okay? We've been trying to get your attention for the last five minutes." I turned to see everyone with a worried look on their faces. Delly grabbed my arm to check my wristband. It was a cool evening but sweat surfaced on my forehead.

"Sorry," I apologized. "Just tired, I guess."

"Why don't you sleep," Johanna suggested as she grabbed her axe. "I'll keep watch for a while."

"No, I'm tired but not sleepy," I said as I started to pace. "I need to stretch my legs. I just need to walk around for a bit."

"Okay, but don't go far," she said. I walked a distance towards the woods behind my home. I felt their eyes on me as I walked away.

"Delly, is he okay?" Katniss asked.

"He's fine, Katniss," she assured her. "He's not stressing or having an episode. He needs sleep. I offered him some sleeping pills but he won't take them."

"You know why, Delly," Johanna said. "He still has nightmares." I don't remember the last time I had a decent night of continuous sleep without a nightmare. My nights with Katniss I don't sleep in fear that I would hurt her. I still dream of Mutt Katniss trying to kill me and telling me she never loved me.

"Well, he can't function properly if he can't sleep," Delly retorted. "Look at him."

I tried to shut their conversation out of my mind. I'm grateful for their concern but their hovering overwhelmed me. I looked up at the sky, as I took deep cleansing breaths to relax me. Their voices dropped in the background as my mind cleared of any thoughts. It was an exercise Dr. Aurelius taught me to help me relax. I don't know how long I stood there when Bron's voice startled me.

"Hey, Peet," Bron said. "I hope you don't mind that I join you." He looked back at the three girls. They were huddled together in front of the fire. Delly was talking in an animated manner entertaining Johanna and Katniss as both smiled at her exuberance. "They started having some girl talk and I had to leave." He shuddered in exaggeration.

I chuckled for a moment as I looked at them. "They are really something else, aren't they?"

"Yes, they are," I agreed. "They're pretty special."

"You know, I wake up sometimes thinking that I'm back in the hospital. That I'm not in 12 with Delly," Bron said. "That everything that has happened is just a dream."

I nodded in understanding. There are days when I awoke from my bed reminding myself that I'm home in District 12. I'll hear Johanna yelling at Delly for taking too long in the bathroom. Their presence confirmed my reality. I am back home and living in the Victor's Village. We are safe and alive.

Bron continued, "If it wasn't for you, she would have never agreed to be with me. Let alone date me." He had a love struck look on his face. I remembered that feeling with Katniss and wondered if it was real or not. In my mind, I see a Peeta who loved Katniss; following her around like a lovesick fool. Who I am now I don't recognize.

"Delly would have figure it out on her own," I declared. "She just needed a little push in the right direction."

"I'm still grateful," he said. "Thank you."

"No need to thank me, Bron," I said. "She was already falling for you long before I said anything." I paused. "She's very important to me. Do her right that's all I ask."

"I will, Peeta," Bron promised. "I would never do anything to hurt her. I love her."

I smiled. "That's good to know. I won't have to worry about her as much. You're a great guy and I know that you'll take good care of her."

"I will," he said. "I want a future with her. I just want you to know that and are okay with it."

"Why wouldn't I be?" I asked.

"Delly looks up to you like a brother," he said. "She never would have continued seeing me if I hurt you or if we didn't get along. You're her family. You and Johanna are important to her."

"If you're asking for my approval, you don't need it," I chuckled. "But I do appreciate it just the same."

"I think Delly would have expected it," he admitted. "And I don't mind asking since I know that you would always place her happiness above your own. You're that kind of guy. I can see why she loves you and kept you in her life. I want her to be happy."

"She deserves to be happy," I sighed. "At least someone gets to have a happily ever after."

"You have a chance to be happy too, Peeta," Bron said. I tried not to focus on his implication. It just left my mind spinning.

"Oh hell," Johanna exclaimed as her voice caught our attention. "Get that thing away from me."

"Oh my God," Bron chuckled.

"What's wrong?" I asked him as we looked back at the three girls.

"Ever since I gave Delly a camera, she hasn't stopped using it wherever we are," Bron said in amusement as he watched his girlfriend torture Johanna. She waved her axe at Delly.

"Just shut up and pose for me. Both of you stop being a baby," Delly demanded. "Put the axe down and stay still. Katniss, at least try to smile. " Just at that moment she took a picture of Johanna and Katniss. Both of them had a displeased look on their face.

"I hate having my pictures taken," Katniss whined. "I had enough of that in the Capitol to last me a lifetime."

"Well, you're not in the Capitol and these pictures are for me," Delly explained. "I want new memories of us together." She continued to rant as she sat next to Katniss and took another photo with herself included.

"Oh, I bet you have naughty pictures of you and Bron," Johanna hooted. "Give me that." She tried to grab the camera as Delly evaded her. Delly laughed as Johanna crawled over Katniss causing them to wrestle on the ground. All three giggled, their laughter echoed in the air. It was a joyous sound to hear.

"I noticed," I said with a smile on my face. Delly surprised me during Tamryn's birthday party when she started flashing her camera at me. The flash startled me at first that I thought I was having an episode.

Johanna got hold of the camera and was looking at the pictures. "These are boring. When I am I going to get to the good stuff?" Johanna whined as she continued to peruse the pictures.

"Well, you're in for a disappointment," Delly teased. "I put a password on those pictures so you can't see them."

Johanna's brow lifted on her forehead. "You're teasing me right?" she asked. "Aw, Delly you're no fun." Both Delly and Katniss burst into laughter.

"She has close to thousand pictures of all of us," Bron said. "I'm going to have to tell her to tone it down. It's getting annoying."

"Don't," I interjected. "We didn't have the luxury of cameras back then. And any photos we had left were destroyed during the bombing. Just let her have her indulgence, she'll get tired of it sooner or later."

"I didn't think of it that way," he said. I wished that I had some pictures of my family. There are days when I don't remember their faces. The way my dad eyes would crinkle when he laughed. I can't even remember the angry look on my mother's face when she yelled at me. I had nothing left of them.

As the night wore on, I found myself still awake as everyone had fallen asleep. I knew that Johanna would succumb to sleep after experiencing her episode. It left her physically and mentally drained. I smiled as I heard Delly snore beside Bron. Katniss managed to drift towards me and placed her head on my chest. I can hear and feel her breath. She looked at peace and rested.

"Peeta?" Katniss whispered as she shifted in her bag.

"Hey, I thought you were asleep," I said.

"I think the cold woke me," she admitted. I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't notice that the fire was going out.

"Sorry," I whispered as I slipped out my bag and put on my shoes. "I'll go add more wood to the fire. Just go back to sleep." I added more wood and noticed that she was staring at me and biting her lower lip. "What's wrong, Katniss?"

"Can we zip our bags together?" she asked in a quiet manner.

It was an innocent and practical question but coming from Katniss it unnerved me. "Uh, sure," I croaked. She smiled back as she removed herself from her bag and proceeded to unzip my sleeping bag and connected it to hers. Once done, she gestured for me to join her. I tiptoed to my side and slipped off my shoes. I lay back inside the bag to have her rest her head on my chest as I wrapped my arm around her.

"Is this okay?" she said. I nodded, speechless and nervous all of a sudden. "You're shaking."

"I'm cold," I lied. I didn't want her to know the affect she was causing me. She held on to me closer.

"I like camping," she said. "It reminds me of my dad. We used to sneak out and go camping when I was little."

"Yeah," I said. I held on to her as I felt her tremble. She never talked about her father often and when she did it caused her great sorrow.

"I miss him," she exhaled. "Camping was something he and I did together. Just me and him."

"Do you want to go back inside?" I asked. "If this is making you sad, we can…"

"No, I like spending time out here with you," she interrupted. My thoughts flash back to a memory when we were in the cave in the first arena. The first time she pretended to care for me. "We should do this more often." I felt her breasts on my side as she took a deep breath. She was soft and warm as she lay beside me. My heart wanted to reach for her but my mind spun with memories of her games and lies.

"Sometime in the near future, Katniss." I said. "We'll go camping when things are settled." I didn't know why I said that. Like I said she had me spinning as my heart and mind battled each other.

She raised her head and stared into my eyes. "You promise?" she asked. I nodded since words escaped me. She placed her head back down on my chest. This was a Katniss I am unfamiliar with. Not the Katniss I remembered who avoided my eyes and resented my presence in her life. We both lay in silence. I thought she had fallen asleep when she spoke up again in a timid tone.

"Do you think…when everything is settled that we could…" she asked when I snapped up to a sitting position causing her to drop to the sleeping bag. "Peeta, what's wrong?"

"There's someone in the woods," I stated. She turned to the direction of the trees.

"Peeta, there's no one there," she said.

"I'm not imagining it, Katniss." I said as I slipped on my shoes and picked up my knife.

"What are you doing?" she asked as she grabbed my hand.

"He's out there," I announced.

"Who's out there?" she inquired.

"The bastard who's been threatening everyone. I can feel it," I said as I stood up. My hands trembled from anxiety and fear.

"Peeta are you sure?" she questioned. "It could just be a wild dog roaming around and saw our fire."

"I'm not imaging it," I bawled in exasperation. "He was upright and wearing black. It was a person and not a dog. I'm going after him. I'm sick and tired of being stalked and threatened." I walked over to wake Bron when I noticed that Katniss was getting out of the bag. "What are you doing?"

"I'm going with you," she declared as she searched for her shoes at the foot of the sleeping bag.

"No you're not," I drawled. "You need to stay here with Johanna and Delly. I'm taking Bron."

"What's going on?" Johanna asked as she sat up and rubbed her eyes from sleep. "What time is it?" Bron and Delly sat up from their bags.

"Peeta, what's happening?" Delly inquired with a confused look on her face.

"Peeta says that he saw someone is in the woods and he's going after him," Katniss explained. Johanna's eyes widen as she too began to get up and put on her shoes.

"You're not going anywhere without me," Johanna stated.

"You both are not going," I said in a firm tone.

"Yes, we are," both Johanna and Katniss, shouted.

I turned and walked away. "Suit your self," I said in anger and frustration as I ran into the woods alone leaving them behind. I can hear Johanna and Katniss yelling at me to wait. I gritted my teeth. This bastard has been stalking my friends and me. All I knew was that this needed to end. I ran further into the woods. My left leg ached from running and the cold night air. I didn't know where I was so I stopped in my tracks. The woods were quiet but I can hear a distinct sound of someone moving around. I ran to the direction where the sound led me. Suddenly, Delly, Katniss, Bron and Johanna's voices echoed in the air. I was out of breath and cold. I had flashes of the woods in the arena during the first games. Everyone continued to yell my name. They were everywhere like Mockingjays in the arena. My mind was in a state of confusion. I looked down to check on my wristband. It was turning yellow. I stopped and took deep breaths to clear my mind and control my body from shaking. I closed my eyes shut and bent over to catch my breath. After a few seconds later I stood upright and stared into the woods. My eyes connected to familiar eyes that had haunted my dreams. My blood boiled in anger as the woods turned shiny.

* * *

><p><strong>Katniss POV – <strong>

My heart was beating hard against my chest. I was sick with fear and anger as I watched Peeta disappear into the woods. It took seconds for all of us to realize that Peeta was alone. We scattered into different directions in search of him_. 'I can't lose him now, I can't,'_ my mind reeled. _'When I get my hands on him I'm going to hit so hard his head will rattle. Then I'll hug him for scaring me. That's if he not dead or kidnapped by his stalker.'_ I shook that fatal thought from my head. I will definitely hit him first. Then I'll kiss him.

"Peeta, where are you?" I yelled into the air. I ran with bow in hand to the right as I heard a commotion. The woods were pitched black as the moon hung over to provide some visibility. I ran into the direction of some sound of scuffling and a scream. My mind raced. Peeta is out alone in the woods with his stalker and wild dogs that roamed the night. He is only armed with a knife to protect himself. Suddenly, I see him hovering over something lying on the ground. His back is turned so I can't see if he's injured or hurt.

"Peeta!" I yelled at him. He turned around clutching his bloody knife in his hand. There is blood over his face and body. His clothes were torn and I noticed long cut marks on his chest and arms. He looked feral and dangerous. I stopped in my tracks when I saw a look in his eyes. They were blank and unfocused as if he looked right through me. He blinked a few times. I drew my bow when I saw him tremble as he raised the knife in his hand towards me. "Peeta, are you okay?"

"Run," he whispered. "Run, Katniss. Run!" His voice was low but it echoed in the still of the night.

I shook my head. "I'm not leaving you," I told him. Never again.

"Run!" he bellowed as he took a step towards me causing me to step backwards. Bron and Delly appeared besides me. "Leave Katniss. Now!" He dropped his knife and fell to his knees. "Please, stop. It's hurt so much." He grabbed his head with both hands. A few seconds later, he dropped to the ground. Delly ran up to him and checked his wristband.

"Don't come near him, Katniss," she instructed. "Let me check him first. Bron check and see who's over there."

"Who is it?" I cried as my body shook with fear for him. Delly checked his chest and arms.

"It's just a wild dog," Bron sighed in relief. "It's dead."

"Delly, is he hurt bad?" I asked. "Where is all the blood coming from?

"Not all of it is his," she assured me. "He's got deep scratches on his chest and arms but the rest is from the dog." She looked back to see the wild animal a few feet away from her. Impatient, I ran and took Peeta in my arms as I dropped my bow beside him. "He's okay, Katniss. You need to step back; you're getting blood all over you." I didn't care that I was splattered with blood. I held on to him in a tight hug as I realized that I could have lost him tonight. I sobbed in gratitude and relief. I don't know how many chances I've been given. My fate and my life are intrinsically connected to Peeta's. I have denied it and fought it. I raised his head and kissed his forehead. He was warm and sweaty amidst the cold air. He was breathing and alive, it was all that mattered to me.

The next morning we're huddled together in Peeta's living room. Delly sedated him and informed us that he will be sleeping through the rest of the morning. After lunch we asked Haymitch to join us and told him what happened. Last night's experience all shook us in different ways. Johanna felt guilty since it was her idea to sleep outside.

"I'm sorry. It's my fault. If I hadn't suggest to sleep outside, Peeta wouldn't have gotten hurt," Johanna repented. I detected sorrow and angry radiating from her. Delly was calm turning into nurse mode as Bron sat in silence beside her.

"Stop it, Johanna." I said with a bit of anger. "You can't take the blame for Peeta going into the woods on his own. He should have waited for us."

"You know how Peeta gets when anyone of us is in danger," Delly clarified. "He was trying to protect us."

"And he almost got himself killed," Johanna said. "I promised to protect him. This is my fault."

"It's no ones fault," Bron uttered. "We need to concentrate on Peeta. Listen, I didn't want to bring this up but…I found evidence that someone is living out there in the woods."

"What do you mean?" I asked. "When did you find out?"

"After we took him back to the house, I went back into the woods early this morning," he explained. "I found a tent and few supplies a mile away."

"What else did you find?" Johanna asked.

"It's mostly camping stuff," he said as he cleared his throat. "But I may have a idea who he is."

"Who do you think it is?" Haymitch asked as we all held our breath.

"It's got to be someone who has survival skills. He's someone experienced in warfare and capable of living out in the woods for a long period of time. Someone capable of sneaking around covertly," he said. "This person has the means to stalk Peeta undetected."

"I've collected a few letters that are consistent to the stalking. The letters started the same time Peeta was being stalked at the Capitol," Haymitch announced. "I'm thinking he's from the Capitol. Everyone in the district is busy rebuilding their lives and recovering from the rebellion."

"Here's the thing," Bron added. "The equipment and supplies he left behind, they're standard military issue." He paused then continued, "They are all came from District 13."

I gasped in surprise. "Are you sure?" Haymitch asked. "So you're thinking he's a former rebel from 13?"

"Yes, no, I mean it could be a soldier from one of the Districts. He could even be from the Capitol, like a peacekeeper," Bron stated. "Or someone like me who joined the rebellion."

"I thought all former peacekeepers were incarcerated," I said. I never knew what happened to the peacekeepers that were caught after the rebellion. I was busy recovering from my PTSD.

"It doesn't matter. Whoever he is," Delly interjected. 'He's taking great pleasure in taunting Peeta. It's just so cruel. He's a coward if you ask me."

"It could be anyone really," Bron said. "Half of Panem thinks he's traitor." I winced at his observation and comment.

"Or he could be a guardsmen," Johanna said. My mind raced. I knew whom she was implying. Who hated Peeta enough to stalk him and keep tabs on him? Someone who could track his every move and go unnoticed?

"You can't go around making that kind of accusation without proof," Haymitch concluded. I agreed with Haymitch. Gale may have changed, but I refused to think that he would hurt Peeta that way. Yes, he was angry and jealous of Peeta but to stalk him? That wasn't Gale.

"He wouldn't do that," I defended my former best friend.

"Really Katniss?" she said in an angry tone. "You don't think he would want to hurt Peeta? He hates Peeta."

"Gale hates Peeta. I admit that," I said, "But to stalk Peeta, that isn't his style."

Johanna eyes narrowed. "I think I need to have a long talk with your ex-boyfriend," she sneered at me.

"He was never my boyfriend," I corrected her.

"Tell that to Peeta," Johanna spat. She was angry and scared for him. I am too. I didn't want to argue with her. Nothing mattered to me but protecting him.

"Like Haymitch said you need proof," I said.

"Johanna don't confront Gale," he advised. "He's got backing from President Paylor and the office of the Guardsmen to support him. If it is Gale, we can't tip him off. And I want positive and undeniable proof that it's him. I mean it, Johanna. Don't do anything stupid."

"Don't worry," she smirked. "I won't touch a hair on his head. For now. But if it turns out it is him, he's mine." She stood up and crossed the room to stare out a window. "And there is nothing and no one on earth who can stop me from beating the shit out of him." _'Take a number,'_ my mind said. I sat there with my arms crossed in a sullen and forlorn state that I didn't notice Peeta enter the room.

"Hey, guys," Peeta greeted us in a soft tone. He was dressed in light blue sweat pants with a white t-shirt. His arms were wrapped with gauze making him appear wearing long sleeves. His hair was tussled that I wanted to run my hands through his golden locks. He was adorable, as he stood in front of us in his bare feet. I looked at his fake foot peeking out of his pants. It looked real but as you looked closer you can tell it's a prosthetic limb. I have never seen Peeta with his prosthetic leg; he kept that disability from me. Guilt gnawed my chest as I remembered how he lost his leg. "I'm sorry that I didn't make any bread this morning."

"What are you doing out of bed?" Delly asked as Johanna and I approached Peeta. She checked his wristband and placed a hand on his forehead.

"How are you feeling, Peet?" Johanna asked.

"Hey, Peeta," I said. He looked at Johanna and Delly as I noticed that he kept his eyes downcast when he addressed me.

"Hey, Katniss," he mumbled. "I'm okay, Johanna." He raised his hand and rubbed the back of his head. "I think my stomach woke me up." He looked up behind his long blond lashes. My stomach fluttered when his eyes connected to mine. "I'm kinda hungry."

Ten minutes later, I'm in his kitchen cooking scrambled eggs, Delly prepared his tea without sugar while Johanna warmed up left over cheese buns. Peeta sat in stunned silence since we commandeered him to sit at his kitchen table as we prepared his breakfast.

"This is a sickening sight," Haymitch snorted as he leaned against the kitchen doorway. "How come I never get this kind of service?" Bron nodded in agreement as he stared at his girlfriend. She placed a teacup in front of Peeta while I dropped a plate of eggs on the table.

"Because you're not Peeta," I stated in a matter of fact. I blushed, Delly giggled as Johanna snickered at me. Peeta's ears turned a deep shade of red as he sipped his tea. It was true. I would never do something like this except for Peeta. I sat next to him as he nibbled half of his breakfast. His appetite still hasn't returned but he was eating. We reconvened into the living room where Peeta listened as Haymitch explained the last turn of events. He was quiet and still for most of the conversation.

"We at least have some idea who might be stalking you," Bron said. "It's not definitive but it's a start."

"Are you okay, Peeta?" Delly asked. "Maybe you should go back to bed."

"Um…I need you guys to tell me something," Peeta spoke. "And I want you to tell met the truth." He paused then raised both his arms at us. "How did I get these?" He gestured to the gauze wrapped around his arms.

"You don't remember?" Haymitch asked. Peeta shook his head. "What's the last thing you remember?"

"I remember bits and pieces from last night," Peeta answered as his cheeks turned a shade of pink. "I remember lying in my sleeping bag with…then I saw someone in the woods so I ran after him."

"What else?" Haymitch inquired as he looked at me with a smirk on his face.

"I'm in the woods when I see a pair of red eyes," he sighed. "Then I think I blacked out for a moment because I don't remember anything except seeing Katniss with her bow. She's pointing it at me and the next thing I know I'm in my bed." I watched as his shoulders dropped and his eyes closed. "Please tell me I didn't hurt…anyone."

I grabbed his hand and it startled him. He opened his teary eyes. "You didn't hurt anyone, Peeta," I reassured him. "No one got hurt except you."

"I remember seeing blood on my hands. I had a knife…" he choked. "You were there…and…" He squeezed my hand tight.

"You had an encounter with a wild dog, Peet," Bron explained. "He scratched you good but you killed it. The blood you saw was from the dog. You didn't hurt anyone, I promise Peeta. We're all okay."

He sighed in relief then leaned back on the sofa closing his eyes. I held on to his hand and placed it on my lap. Everyone and everything disappeared as I leaned back to lie next to him. Minutes later, he's fallen asleep and dropped his head on my lap. I'm oblivious to my surrounding that I didn't notice Delly with her camera taking photos of us. Everyone else had left the room. My only focus was Peeta.

The next couple of days Peeta was in and out of consciousness. The ordeal in the woods took a lot of him. I remained by his side knowing that he was unaware of my presence. When he woke up, he would have delusions asking Johanna if I was really there. It broke me heart every time he questioned whether or not I was real. He was convinced that they were still a prisoner in the Capitol and my appearance was just an illusion to break him. He would take my hand when he realized I was real and fall back to sleep. He slept a lot and ate little. It came to a point that Delly was forced to wake him and make him drink soup. I should be relieved that he was catching up with his sleep, but I missed him. This reminded me of the first time Peeta awoken to find me in his bedroom months before. I realized that this would be a recurring crisis in our lives. I will always have periods of depression while Peeta experienced momentary delusions of being trapped in the Capitol. These mental scars from the arena and rebellion are forever embedded in our lives but I'm willing to face them as long as Peeta is by my side.

After checking his vitals, Delly admitted this was the longest that Peeta has slept without a nightmare. I was surprised that she didn't report his last incident to Dr. Aurelius. "He just needs us," she said as she placed a hand over his heart. "No medication or therapy session in the Capitol can mend what is broken in him." I smiled at Delly's assessment. "Only the power of love and our support can help him heal." It was sappy but true. I've known what Peeta's love had done for me; it helped me to be true and strong for everyone. He provided me strength at the times when I was weak and he gave me hope when all I wanted to do was give up. I will endeavor to return the favor whether he believes it or not.

We all agreed that it would be in Peeta's best interest that he remained in 12 with us to watcher over and protect him. When we told Peeta of our decision, he sighed in relief and thanked us for not making him go back to the hospital. In truth I didn't want him to leave.

Last night I attempted to sleep alone. I slept for about one hour when my nightmares visited me. I crept back to Peeta's house and tiptoed into his bedroom. When I found him he trembled in his sleep as he chanted, 'I'm sorry, I'm sorry.' I pulled his wrist to check his band. Delly taught me to read the display during his long sleeping period. She was the only medical personnel besides Dr. Aurelius who can remove and replace the unit. She informed me that there is a button on the unit that would knock Peeta out in an instant. It was a preventative measure incase the wristband failed to medicate him in a critical moment. So far it's been doing its job. He calmed once I held him in my arms. I left him this morning in hopes that he would continue to sleep some more.

I'm wrapped in a blanket staring out of a window with a warm cup of tea in my hands. I can hear movement upstairs as I realized that Peeta has awakened from his sleep. I am charged to watch over Peeta since Johanna left 12 to visit a friend in 7 and Delly left for work. Bron is asleep in Delly's old room since he has night patrol this week. Peeta insisted his presence in his home if Johanna was not around. He feared for my life when I am alone with him. I didn't care for the arrangement since I wanted to spend time with him. He balked at the idea.

"Good morning, Katniss," Peeta greeted me. "Did you want some breakfast? I could whip up a batch of pancakes if you want?"

"I'm fine, Peeta. I'm not really hungry," I said as I perused his appearance. He wore a dark blue dress pants, a light blue shirt and black patent shoes. "Why are you dressed up this morning?" He looked handsome despite the fact that his clothes didn't fit him well. He looked like a little boy playing grown up in his clothes. His hair was slicked back and he had a rosy color on his cheeks.

"I have an appointment with Delly to recharge my wristband and I have to see Thom in town," he said. "I have to pick up some papers for the bakery. There are other applications I have to sign." He walked into his kitchen. "I'm going to have a piece of toast and tea. Would you like some?"

"That's not enough for breakfast," I scolded him. "You need more than that."

"Well, you just having tea so…" he shrugged his shoulders. "I'm not that hungry either." We stood there for a moment in awkward silence. Then the thought struck me.

"Who walking you to town?" I asked.

Peeta's eyes narrowed. "I'm capable enough to walk to town on my own,' he said. I detected frustration and angry behind his baby blue eyes. "I don't need a sitter."

"I know that you can take care of yourself," I acknowledged. "But don't you think that under the circumstances you should take some precaution. You're being stalked…"

"I quite aware of my situation, Katniss," he retorted. "But I'm not letting this guy dictate my life by making me a prisoner in my own home and not being able to go anywhere I want. I'm not going to live like that."

"It's only temporary," I argued.

"You don't know that," he said. "Besides, I'm not going to let anyone get hurt because of me. Not if I can help it."

I understood his rationale. I would do anything to protect the ones I loved even if it meant keeping them at a distance. But this is Peeta we're talking about.

"Peeta, you either go with someone or you're not going at all," I said. "You're life is still in jeopardy and if you think I'm going to let you…"

"I'm just walking to town in daylight to see Delly and pick up an application, Katniss," he interjected.

"Then you won't mind me coming with you," I stated.

"Katniss, I don't think that's a good idea," he said. He had a panicked look about him.

"It's either me or Bron," I suggested.

"Bron is asleep and is working tonight," he said.

"Then you're stuck with me," I demanded as I stood up and dropped the blanket on the sofa. I looked down and realized that I still wore a pair of sleep pants and sweatshirt. "Can we stop by my place first so I can change my clothes?"

Half an hour later, I walked beside Peeta on the way to town. It had come to my attention that this was the first time he and I are alone together. No Johanna or Delly hovering over us. No Haymitch or Bron playing chaperone. I felt giddy and nervous. With all the courage I could muster I reached for his hand and grasped it. Peeta looked startled but didn't pull away like I thought he would have. His head was down but he had a tiny smile on his face. He stole glances at me making me feel subconscious.

"Anything wrong, Peeta," I asked in a nervous tone. He shook his head.

"It just that…" he stuttered. "You look pretty in that dress." I blushed. I debated for over ten minutes in my closet as I changed my clothes so I could accompany Peeta to town. I wanted to look good for him. I wore a simple blue dress with dark brown knee high boots.

"Thank you," I returned as I squeezed his hand. I felt happy like a normal girl taking a walk with her beau. I smile at that thought. As we approached the town I noticed Peeta's demeanor changed. His shoulders tensed and his pace quicken. Many townspeople stared at us as we walked along the street on our way to the Medical Center. Some looked displeased and angry. I held onto Peeta's hand in support as I glared back at anyone who looked at him the wrong way. I could feel Peeta pulling away from me but I held on tight. When we reached the new hospital, an over anxious and bubbly administrative staff greeted Peeta. It was obvious that she recognized him. The waiting area was not crowded but our appearance caused a commotion that security staff appeared by our side.

"Mr. Mellark, it is always such a joy to see you," she greeted him. "How may I help you today?"

"I'm have an appointment with Nurse Cartwright," he answered in weary tone. "Can you please tell her I'm here?"

"Of course, please have a seat," she said. "I'll let her know you have arrived." She winked at him. "If there is anything else you need, please let me know." Oh my God, did that woman just flirted with Peeta in front of me? I yanked him away from the reception desk and sat him close to me. I scowled back to the woman behind the desk when I caught her ogling at Peeta.

Everyone from staff to patients kept staring at us as we sat at the corner of the room when a tall burly man approached us. "Mr. Mellark will you please accompany me to another room," he demanded in firm tone. "Your presence has caused quite a disturbance with our clients and staff."

"I am sitting here minding my own business and wish to be left alone. I am here for my appointment." Peeta said.

The odious man continued. "I only wish to provide you some privacy until Nurse Cartwright arrives."

"I don't need special treatment," Peeta said. "I'm staying here until I am called. You're the one causing a disturbance."

"Mr. Mellark I would recommend that you take my advice and wait in another room," he insisted. He leaned over to Peeta. "Or I will have security escort you by force if necessary."

"If Peeta wants to stay here," I interjected, "I suggest you leave him alone. He's not disturbing anyone."

"And who might you be, Miss…" he sneered as he eyed me up and down.

"Katniss. Katniss Everdeen," I announced. "And you are?"

"I am Dante Pastorelli, the Head Administrator of this medical facility," Pastorelli's eyes grew large as he gasped in surprise. "I'm sorry, Miss Everdeen," he mumbled. "I didn't recognize you or else I would have…"

"I would appreciate that you leave me and Peeta alone," I demanded. "We are here for his appointment."

"Of course, my apologies," he stumbled. "If I may be of any assistance to you and Mr. Mellark please feel free to contact me." I nodded my head in dismissal. Peeta appeared pale as he sat next to me. Pastorelli and security left the room.

"Peeta, are you okay?" I asked.

"I'm fine, Katniss. Please don't make a fuss," he whispered as he squeezed my hand. We met Delly as few minutes later. She had a big smile on her face when she saw me with Peeta. She replaced his band with a slimmer design since it chaffed his wrist. Beetee redesigned the original to ensure another security feature to prevent Peeta from overdosing. Before leaving Peeta excused himself to use the men's facility.

"Is everything okay, Katniss?" Delly asked in concern as Peeta exited the room.

"I'm not sure," I said. "The walk through town was difficult. I couldn't believe how everyone is treating Peeta. Even the hospital administrator was hostile towards him."

"You mean, Mr. Pastorelli," Delly said. "Don't mind him. He's just upset that he lost his job in the Capitol. And the only work he could find was here in 12."

"Do you know why he was fired?" I asked.

"Not really," she said. "But since his arrival he's been fixated on Peeta. He always seems to know when he has his appointments with me. He's not suppose to. Patient confidentiality and all that. Especially if it's you, Peeta and Johanna. I usually meet him at the appointed time but I was running late this morning."

"Don't feel bad," I said. "I was happy to take him. I think I'll accompany him from now on."

"I wanted to change the unit at Peeta's house, but it against hospital policy," Delly added. "Pastorelli's harmless and I'm confident that Peeta can take care of himself."

A thought formed in my mind. "Do you think he could be the one stalking Peeta," I asked.

"Pastorelli," Delly scoffed. "He's an over pampered bureaucrat from the Capitol whose only job is to push paper around. He couldn't survive let alone know how to stalk Peeta. I have a better chance of being Peeta's stalker." We both giggled at the thought of girly Delly in a soldier's uniform carrying a large gun and backpack camping out in the woods all-alone. We burst into laughter as Peeta appeared in the room.

"What's so funny?" Peeta asked.

"Nothing Peeta," I said as I grabbed his hand and led him out of the medical center.

After his appointment, he headed straight to Thom's office and picked up the applications. He was subdued and quiet as we walked back through town. It was obvious that this ordeal was taking toll on him. Walking through town felt as if we were back in the Capitol and being watched under everyone's scrutiny. We can never be just Peeta Mellark and Katniss Everdeen who were reaped for the 74th Hunger Games. We are forever the Star-Crossed Lovers who survived two arenas and a rebellion. There is no such thing as normal for us.

"Peeta, are you okay?" I asked as I placed an arm around his waist. His head was downcast and I felt him tremble in my arms.

"I just want to go home," he answered. Suddenly, a loud and shrill siren blared into the air. People around us ran towards the center of town. Curious, we ran toward the area to find a large group of people gathering in front of the Justice building. Four guardsmen stood in front of a tall pole. Gale appeared from the building escorting a man in cuffs. Both Peeta and I recognized him. He was the groundskeeper in our school. Gale sported a long strip of gauze in his left cheek, a souvenir of our last encounter.

His voice rang into the air, "Nolan Broadstreet you are convicted as a repeat offender for stealing and shoplifting. This is your third strike." I learned that the first penalty for committing a crime is paying a heavy fine. The second penalty you serve one month in jail and third you are sentenced at the district's head guardsmen's discretion a punishment fit for your crime. "The law will not allow such behavior or tolerate crimes against the district. I hereby…sentence you to 10 lashings for your crimes. This is an example for all of district 12 to remember that no crime will go unpunished and that the law does not discriminate."

"Katniss, that's Nolan from our school," Peeta gasped. I felt him move towards the front of the crowd. I knew of his intention. We were reliving Gale's whipping years earlier. I grabbed onto his hand tight. I watched in horror as they tied Nolan to a post and tore the shirt off his back.

"Peeta, there's nothing you can do," I gulped. I couldn't face another incident that would involve Peeta getting hurt. His sense of right and any form of injustice always preceded his own wellbeing. "Please Peeta." The look in his eyes tore at my chest. I clutched onto his waist keeping him from moving away from me. "Look at me."

His eyes were brimming with tears. I heard the sound of the whip slicing through the air. Nolan's screams echoed around us. I looked back to see Gale as he watched over his guardsmen whipping Nolan. Then, he looked into the crowd and stared at me dead in the eyes. There were no sign of remorse or mercy in his eyes. I turned and rested my head on Peeta's shoulder. We stood together crying and feeling helpless.

From the corner of my eyes I felt as though someone watching us. I turned to see the woman from the new medical center staring at us. I realized that she was staring at Peeta again and not acknowledging my presence. I didn't appreciate the way she was looking at him. Grabbing Peeta's hand I led him away from the crowd.

"We have to help him, Katniss," Peeta begged as he tugged me back to the crowd.

"Peeta, there's nothing we can do," I uttered. "If you go back there and interfere, Gale will use any opportunity to put you in jail, do you understand?"

"How can he just stand there…" he said his voice breaking, "and let that happen? What happened to him?"

"I don't know," I cried. "Peeta, he's not the same person we knew." We held on to each other reliving a moment in our lives. A pivotal moment that changed us. The day I chose Gale over Peeta. I was scared and confused and I had convinced myself that I didn't have a future with him; that I was meant to be with Gale.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I'm so sorry." I clutched on to his waist as I closed my eyes.

"Why are you apologizing," he asked as his breath brushed my ear.

"That day. The day Gale got whipped," I said. "I chose him."

"I know," he acknowledged. "I know Katniss. I saw how you were with him after the whipping. I knew you chose him. I remembered every time you chose him." He pulled himself from my embrace. "We don't need to do this now."

"But I want to explain," I said as I wiped tears from my eyes.

"You don't need to explain anything," he mumbled. His eyes were sad and haunted. "I don't want to relive history that is dead and over with. It won't accomplish anything."

"Peeta, please…" I sobbed.

"I can barely remember the good things that happened between us," he whispered. I tried to think of times that we had together, moments that were good between us. They were rare and a few. "Please don't bring back memories that only hurt my…head." He placed a hand on his chest as if he's in pain. There is so much I wanted to say but my words were caught in my throat. I glanced at his wristband; it was greenish-yellow. "And talking about it here in the open, it's dangerous." He was holding on to himself as if he was trying to keep himself upright. I couldn't handle the distance between us so I grabbed him and wrapped my arms around him. I held him close in vise grip.

"You're right," I said to appease him but I knew that it wasn't. "This isn't a good time." A confrontation between us was not appropriate. Peeta was vulnerable and I was angry with myself.

He nodded his head. "We don't need to do this now, okay?" he said. "We have other things to consider." He paused. "We're okay, Katniss." Our walk back home was long and slow. Both of us lost in our own thoughts.

"I know that Snow and the games are gone," he said, "but why does it feel like we haven't made any progress?"

"I know, Peeta," I said. Watching Gale and the guardsmen felt like the Peacekeepers subjugation all over again.

"It's like we've moved forward but stayed the same," he added. "Did we remove one evil to be replaced with another? What makes the Guardsmen any different from the Peacekeepers?" There wasn't a difference that I can see. The only distinction is that they're wearing black. My mind drifted towards Delly's boyfriend. I tried not to see Bron in the same light. He was born and raised in the Capitol while Gale struggled in 12. The comparison is like day and night. Yet Bron held no resentment or bitterness for the districts while Gale hated anything or anyone Capitol. Bron fought to free the districts from Snow. He was a Capitol citizen defying and denouncing the life he was born into. Gale fought for freedom and justice but his anger lingered. He wore his bitterness and hatred like a tattoo; it burns and consumes him.

"I don't know," I said. "But I am certain of one thing. Gale has power and influence. We have to be careful and not do anything that will give him the chance to hurt us."

"He can only have that power if we let him," Peeta said. "I swear, Katniss. If he does anything to hurt Delly or Johanna. I don't know what…I know he's your best friend."

"Was my best friend," I corrected him. "He's out of my life for good."

"What kind of man is he to turn his back on you?" he questioned.

"It was him that ended our friendship," I said in disgust. "He is not what I want or need in my life. And now he's angry with me as well."

"If he ever hurts you, Katniss," he threatened. "I don't care what he does to me."

"The same goes for me, Peeta," I promised. "He will never hurt you again." His eyes focused into mine and I swore something reconnected between us. This how it should be; he and I together. "We protect each other."

"Always." Peeta returned. He secured his arm around me as I lay my head on his shoulder. His touch comforted me. It has always been he and I against the world. But this time there are no games and Snow threatening us. I am no longer paralyzed by fear and uncertainty. We continued our trek back home with a silent vow and a promise.

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><p><strong>Have a great week.<strong>


	13. Chapter 13 - All Roads Lead to You

Chapter 13 – All Roads Lead to You

_**AN: Thank you readers for the reviews. They are greatly appreciated. My future updates may be a day or two late but I am working on them. This chapter has a couple of POV's besides Peeta and Katniss. Hope you enjoy.**_

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><p><strong>Katniss POV – <strong>

On the night of the whipping incident, I had one of the worse nightmares ever. I dreamt that Peeta was tied up to a post, shirt removed and whipped by none other that Gale. His eyes looked feral as he arced the whip wrapping it around Peeta's neck. As he pulled back the light in Peeta's eyes dimmed. The whip snapped his neck in two. I awoke screaming. My throat burned from yelling for Peeta. Strong arms wrapped around me. "Shh, Katniss, you okay. You're okay," Peeta's voice penetrated my fogged mind. With my eyes shut my nose drew in the fragrance of yeast and flour. I clung to him as he calmed me with soothing words of comfort; the timber of his voice soft and tender, his arms strong and firm. Words escaped me as I climbed onto his lap and sobbed into his shirt holding him tight. A light breeze and moonlight entered through my open window. I shivered from Peeta's gentle touch.

"It's all right Katniss," Peeta said as his hand traced soft circles on my back. He still had gauze on his arms preventing me from feeling his soft skin. I wished that he had taken off his t-shirt so I can run my hands down his firm chest and abs. Since sleeping together my mind were flooded with racy thoughts of us naked lying in bed together. My tongue would trace circles around his nipple. Ugh, I wanted him but had no idea how to seduce him. I quivered thinking how his hand would reach inside my panties and …"You're shivering. Are you cold, I can close the window?" Peeta said as he interrupted my fantasy. He misunderstood my reaction as fear and my ache for him bubbled in my chest. It reminded me of the first time I felt this way when we were in the cave at the first arena. I didn't recognize it then, but now I know better. "You're safe, Katniss. No one is going to hurt you, I promise."

"He hurt you," I wailed as the memory of the nightmare resurfaced.

"Who, Katniss?" He asked soft and gentle. "Who hurt me?"

"Gale," I whimpered. "You were tied to a post and he was whipping you. He killed you."

"I'm okay, Katniss," he assured me. "I'm here with you. You're just remembering what happened yesterday. It wasn't me."

"I'll never let him hurt you, Peeta," I swore as I opened my eyes. "He'll have to go through me first."

"Not unless Johanna gets to him first," he joked. I remembered Johanna's reaction when Peeta called her in 7. She was so livid that I can hear swearing on the phone. I was rattled from my nightmare that I couldn't contain myself. My voiced was hitched and my breath uneven. I dropped my head on Peeta's shoulder; my nose rubbed his soft neck.

"I'm sorry if I woke you," I hiccupped. I felt shame and gratitude for only he can calm my battered soul.

"You didn't," he returned as he tried to dislodge me from his lap. "Why don't you lie back and get some sleep." I held on as I clung to him.

"Just hold me like this," I whispered; my arms around his waist as I burrowed my head onto his chest. With his arms around me I drifted back to sleep feeling safe, warm and loved.

A couple of days later I walked into to my kitchen, Sae and Tamryn are already seated for breakfast. I had consulted Haymitch about my decision to relieve Sae and Tamryn of their visits. With the threat surrounding Peeta, it was best that I distance myself from them. Anyone involved in our lives were in danger. The thought pained me since I have let them into my life and they were very dear to me. For now the alienation and distance was necessary. I seated myself next to Tamryn as I noticed her sullen state.

"What's wrong Tamryn?" I asked. She looked up with a sad look in her eyes. I turned to Sae who had a blank expression on her face.

"Peeta doesn't want to be my friend anymore," she said. Her eyes brimmed with tears.

"What do you mean?" I questioned.

"He won't let me come to his house anymore," she answered. "Grandma says that he's busy, but I know that he doesn't want to see me anymore." Her lip quivered. It seemed that Peeta had come to the same conclusion. He had ripped his presence away from Tamryn's life to protect her. And as a child, she had no understanding of his distance.

"I tried to explain that Peeta's busy," Sae interjected. "She doesn't understand that there are times that he can't see her."

"It's true, sweetie," I answered back. "A lot of things are happening in his life right now and he really is busy."

"Really?" she asked. "So he's not mad at me?" She wiped her tears with back of her hand.

"He's not mad, Tamryn. Listen, when things get better for him, I promise you you'll get to visit him again," I reassured her a took a napkin and wiped her face. "Here, blow your nose."

"Okay," she said accepting my explanation but still sadden by the loss. I turned to Sae.

"After you drop her off to school, can you come back?" I asked her. "There are few things that I need to talk to you about." Sae nodded her head.

An hour later we are seated in my living room. Sae's face was expressionless as I explained the events surrounding Peeta. She was angry at first when Peeta started to pull away from Tamryn. "…so it's best that the both of you keep your distance from all of us."

"She won't understand why we won't be coming here," Sae added. "She loves you and Peeta so much." She softened as she realized that Peeta's absence and was due to his desire to protect them.

"I know it's going to be difficult," I said, "but when things are better and when Peeta's stalker is caught, we can go back to our lives and resume regular activities. It's just for the best that you stay away."

"How is Peeta's taking all of this?" she asked.

"Not well," I confided. "I don't know how much more he can take. But all of us are here to support him. I'm not letting anything happen to him."

"I know, dear," she said. "I know he's in good hands. I just wish he'd get a break."

"Me too," I agreed.

"He has one of the biggest heart I know," she complimented. "It must be killing him knowing that all this is happening." I nodded in agreement. "Katniss, I didn't want to bring this up and add more trouble but there is something I need to tell you." My brows lifted. "There's a rumor going around town that…Peeta's abusing you."

"What?" I gasped in horror. "How can anyone think that Peeta's hurting me in anyway?"

"I don't how it started or who started it but it's all over town," she said. I bent my head down in frustration and irritation. "Some people are saying that he's keeping you from leaving your house because of your fragile state of mind. That's he taking advantage of you. Manipulating you."

"I can't believe this," I gritted my teeth. My Peeta, my kind hearted Peeta is being slandered. Being painted as a monster.

"We know it's not true, Katniss," Sae said. "He would die before he'd ever hurt you." I knew that. But all of Panem was willing to believe otherwise. No one knew he was willing to die for me in two arenas. He came home hijacked and tortured because of his love for me. I didn't realize that my offer to sacrifice my life for his spoke volumes. I loved him too. "I'm sorry, Katniss. But I thought you should know."

"Thank you for telling me," I said. I felt tired as months of stress and worry had caught up to me. All I wanted to do was find Peeta and go someplace where no one can find us.

"I don't know if I should say anything to him," she pondered. "I think this would kill him. He's so fragile and vulnerable when it concerns you and this would…"

"No don't," I interjected. "I know how to resolve this rumor." I just have to convince people that it wasn't true.

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><p><strong>Haymitch POV – <strong>

I pulled at my collar. The new dress shirt Delly purchased was choking me. I looked around the room and shook my head. I hate meetings of any sort. The new town council had implemented meetings once a month. I never attended them unless my life depended on it. There are 6 members on the board each originating from other districts. How they were appointed? I couldn't care less. However, the council held Peeta's fate as an owner of the bakery. It didn't seem fair or right. I turned my head to peruse at Peeta. Despite his calm and collected demeanor, I knew that he was nervous. He was dressed in a dress shirt and pants. He looked young but his eyes bore the years of hardship and suffering. Katniss must have detected his state as I watched her grasp his trembling hands. She has been at his side every waking moment. When she wasn't visiting the woods, she was camped at Peeta's house since Johanna left for a mysterious business trip to District 7. In my opinion, Katniss would be at Peeta's home regardless. The Girl on Fire is love-struck with the Boy with the Bread. It's about damn time. She scowled as I caught her gazing at Peeta. I smirked back. Johanna was seated to the other side of him. She returned home from her mysterious trip from 7 to attend the meeting. They both flanked him like a protective wall.

The scowl on Katniss' face lingered as she stared down a woman two rows ahead of us. The woman was dark haired with green eyes. She was a beautiful well-figured woman in her late 20's trying to get Peeta's attention. He was unaware of the death glare Katniss was sending towards her. I am very proud of Katniss staking her claim.

At the back of the assembly are four well-placed Guardsmen standing at attention. District 12 is the only district that has more Guardsmen stationed in Panem. A necessity for the protection of the Star Crossed Lovers from the media and the rest of Panem. Any media or press are escorted back to the Capitol if they ever breached District 11 perimeter. The detail was designed to protect Peeta and Katniss and provide them the privacy they deserve. Other guardsmen are still trying to contain the rioting and disorder in the other districts. It makes me wonder how Bron was able to get assigned at 12. After yawning for the hundredth time, the meeting droned for 35 minutes until it reached the topic on hand.

"We have 3 applicants for the construction of a bakery for District 12," Councilman Jeb Achers, a rotund man with light brown hair spoke. "A Mr. Don Smithey from District 1, Mr. Alec Baylor from District 10 and Mr. Peeta Mellark of District 12." He shifted the applications on the table as he looked up into the crowd. "All forms and documents have been reviewed by each council member and we have agreed that only two applicants are approved. Mr. Mellark and Mr. Baylor. Only new applicants are allowed to start a new business at 12. As for Mr. Smithey, your application indicates that you are padding your already heavy pockets with a thriving business at District 1. Hence, your application is denied."

Don Smithey stood up in huff and exited the meeting. "A total waste of my time," he spouted.

A second later Councilman Achers addressed the assembly. "Mr. Baylor please explain to the council why you have applied for a bakery in 12 when could have easily do so in your own district?" Councilman Achers asked.

"My family owned a bakery in District 10. I joined the rebellion and when I returned home I found that my father had sold the business," Alec explained. "The new owner refused to give me a job so I thought that I could apply at 12 and have a new start."

"We believe that everyone has the right to a new start, Mr. Baylor that is why your application is under consideration." Councilman Achers revealed. "Mr. Mellark?"

Peeta stood up and all eyes turned to him. "Yes, sir," he answered. I noticed that Katniss held onto his hand.

"It says here that your former employment was your family bakery," Councilman Achers said. "I feel that the council needs clarification upon making a decision."

I watched as Peeta's shoulder stiffened and spine straightened. Katniss and Johanna sat at the edge of their seat. "We are aware that you were hospitalized for several months after the rebellion. Can you tell us what was the nature of your injury? What caused you to be hospitalized for that long duration?" The entire assembly grew quiet. Not all of Panem believed in Peeta's abuse and torture from the Capitol. Many believed it was a ruse or ploy to cover his betrayal and traitorous behavior against the Districts. It was a mental scar that would never heal or be forgotten.

Peeta glared at the council for a few second then took a deep breath. "I don't see how that is relevant to my application, sir," Peeta stated in firm tone as he pulled his hand away from Katniss and crossed them across his chest. His feet spread apart as a stance of defiance. He held his head upward. Peeta is not a tall young man, but his stature and presence loomed over people. He exuded arrogance and confidence. It was a trait that contradicted his gentle nature.

"Your state of mind is relevant to us," Councilman Achers shot back. "Owning a business is a serious endeavor. How can someone as young as you be responsible for owning such a business."

"I am…was a baker's son" Peeta said as his voice wavered for a moment. He cleared this throat and continued with a confident air about him. "I was 8 years old when I frosted my first cupcake. When I was 10, every morning starting at 4 am, I was at my father's side working at our family bakery. The bakery was established in District 12 and was handed down from four generations of Mellarks. My father, James Mellark gave me the responsibility of being the main designer in our bakery when I was only 12 years old. I know what entails in owning a business, sir." Being born a merchant, I had assumed that Peeta's life was free and easy. Little did I know that hardship was instilled in his young life. "I think that my experience should be a factor to your decision, not my age."

"You still have not answered my question," Councilman Achers inquired. It was obvious that he was needling him.

"And he has every right not to," Johanna added. Her voice boomed a like a cannon from the arena.

"Silence. We will not tolerate any disorder or you will be escorted out of this facility if such behavior is continued," Councilman Achers instructed as he glared at Johanna. Hence, this explained the appearance of the Guardsmen.

"My condition or injuries sustained during the rebellion is confidential and your inquiry is an invasion of privacy," Peeta stated.

"But for the safety of District 12, I have the right to inquire whether you are mentally competent to own a business Mr. Mellark," Councilman Achers asked in smug manner.

"I agree with you, sir," Peeta returned. "If that is your real concern, then why have you not asked Mr. Baylor the same question? Why have you not asked if he sustained any injuries during the rebellion and asked if he is mentally stable to own a business?" Checkmate. I smiled so wide I felt muscles on my face I never knew existed.

"All right," Councilman Achers said with a look of disapproval on his face as he turned to Alec Baylor. "Mr. Baylor, were you injured in the rebellion and as such what was the injury?

"I believe sir," Baylor said. "That is an invasion of my privacy as Mr. Mellark stated and is an inappropriate inquire. We should be judged by merit and experience and not by some unfounded fear, town gossip and innuendo, Sir." I turned to peruse at Alec. He appeared to be mid 20's, not much older than Peeta.

"We as the council of District 12, have it in their best interest to provide a safe and prosperous venture to ensure the success of the new township," Achers replied. "It was a legitimate question to ask for anyone applying for any business."

"Asking someone if they have committed a felon is legal," Peeta stated, "but to ask them for their medical history is illegal if it prevents them from starting a new business." The assembly around us looked stunned and irritated at Peeta's comment. "Sir, if what you hold is true and sincere, than I also have the right to have a new start at my own district," Peeta reminded.

"Hear, hear," I bellowed as I stood up. "If may make a suggestion with the approval of the council, of course."

"Please address yourself, Mr…?" Achers asked.

"I am Haymitch Abernathy," I pronounced. "I feel that the only way to resolve this is by having both Mr. Baylor and Mr. Mellark compete in a bake off. They should be judged by their ability as a baker and as the council will decide who is the better baker."

"You're suggesting a baking competition between Mr. Baylor and Mr. Mellark?" Achers reiterated. "It's an intriguing idea." He looked at his peers for their approval. "And when will this competition be held."

"How about during the Remembrance Day?" someone shouted from the assembly.

"That is but a month away, I think you should have it done as soon as possible," I suggested. "Then have the winner bake the winning cake for Remembrance Day."

"Your suggestion has merit, Mr. Abernathy," Achers agreed. "I agree that the new bakery owner should be chosen by their skill and experience."

"May I speak, sir?" Peeta said. "I feel that the day should be renamed. No one in the districts should be compelled to remember the day of the Reaping as Remembrance Day. The connotation is negative and disheartening."

"President Paylor, herself voted for the name of the day," another councilman stated. "It has already been decided."

"She should have consulted the districts before the renaming of worst day of our lives," Peeta said. Many gasped at Peeta's comment. It held a tone of defiance and insubordination.

"And what should she have named the day, young man," Achers sneered.

"It should be renamed as Children's Day," Peeta answered. "Every child on that day should be celebrated for surviving the Reaping. Every child should be pardoned from school and celebrate with their family and friends for being alive. To celebrate the long life they are given through the sacrifice of thousands before them. It is a day to be never forgotten and a day of honor for the dead. Their lives should be celebrated not memorialized by the Capitol. They hold no true understanding of the suffering and devastation of being ripped from their families, paraded like cattle and slaughtered like animals." Damn, Peeta. _'You should be a politician,'_ my mind formed. "I want to remember that day in honor of the children who died for us. It should be not be a day of sorrow but of celebration and gratitude."

"That is irrelevant. If feel strongly about it, you should speak to President Paylor yourself," Achers commented. "We must stick to the business on hand."

"That day is our business. And I will speak to President Paylor," Peeta returned.

"As for Mr. Abernathy's suggestion for a baking competition, I believe that the council should take a vote," Achers added. "All in favor for the competition between Mr. Baylor and Mr. Mellark say 'aye'."

All six voted in agreement. "So be it," Achers said. "I hereby approve that a baking competition will be held between Mr. Alec Baylor and Mr. Peeta Mellark. You both shall…present a…" He turned to his peers who whispered amongst themselves. "You both shall bake a sample of a cake that will be presented at the Day of Remembrance. You have three days to complete this competition and present it to the council at noon. A vote shall take place to decide the ownership of the new bakery for District 12. If there is no other agenda to be discussed I hereby adjourn this meeting."

No one responded and the meeting was adjourned. I sighed in relief and vexation. "I need a drink," I muttered as I unbuttoned my shirt from my neck.

"Me too, Haymitch," Johanna agreed. "That was boring as hell." I turned to Peeta who stood in complete silence as the assembly room emptied.

"Peeta, are you okay?" I asked. Shit, I never asked Peeta if he agreed to the competition.

"I have 3 days to bake a cake for the council," he said wide-eyed. "What if I can't?"

"Peeta, you made Tamryn's cake months ago," Katniss said. "And it was perfection. You'll be fine."

"That was just a simple cake for a 7 year old girl," Peeta retorted. I sensed panic and fear from Peeta. He was white as a sheet.

"Peeta, you've been baking for some time now," I reminded.

"Bread. I've been baking bread. Cheese buns for Katniss," Peeta said. "This is different.

This is for my livelihood. There is more at stake. My family's name is at stake. What if…I poison everyone?" He bent over to catch his breath.

"You're not going to poison anyone," Johanna said. "If you want I'll help you. We all will help you. Make sure that you won't do anything stupid." She placed a hand on his head ruffling his hair. He stood upright. Katniss placed herself in front of him and held his face between her hands.

"You'll be fine, Peeta. You need to do this for all of District 12. They need to know that Peeta Mellark the baker is back. Remember what Thom said. This is your legacy. Your father would want you to do this. For them, for yourself." Katniss pulled him aside as she took him in her arms and whispered in his ears. They were in a world by themselves.

"What do you think?" I asked as I turned to Johanna. "He's not taking this very well. Do you think he'll have a meltdown? I never would have suggested this if I knew he would react this way."

"Peeta's a lot stronger than you realize," Johanna replied. "Besides, he's got Katniss to watch over him." We both turned to the Star Crossed Lovers. "He'll be fine."

* * *

><p><strong>Peeta POV – <strong>

My hands shook as the realization hit me. I woke up feeling a hundred tracker jackers surrounding me that I snuck out leaving Katniss alone in my bed. Darkness enveloped me as I sat staring out of my window. I'm plagued with anticipation and anxiety. Can I gather enough strength to do what must be done? Do I want to? The Bakery. It has been in the forefront of my mind since I had accepted the challenge. Can I move forward in a business that will forever haunt me with memories of my family who are lost to me? I envisioned my father as he stood beside me as I completed my first successful batch of bread. He was a man of few words, but a moment of his smile was my reward. Could I do this without him? I knew what I must do but fear paralyzed me. I am so absorbed with my thoughts that I did hear Katniss entered the room.

"Peeta, why are you not in bed?" she asked as she approached me. A look of worry was etched on her face. Her hair was cascading on her shoulders. She wore a t-shirt and shorts revealing her long legs. I turned to hide the blush on my cheeks hoping that the air would cool my heated skin.

"I woke up suddenly and couldn't go bake to sleep," I explained. She sat next to me.

"Are you thinking about the baking competition?" she asked. I nodded since words stuck to my throat. "Peeta, you can do this."

"I'm…scared. I don't know how I can go on without my family," I whispered. "I miss my dad. Opening a bakery without him seems wrong…like it's my fault that they're not here."

"Don't think like that," she berated. "If it's anyone fault, it's mine. If I hadn't shattered the force field, your family would still be alive." It was the shot that echoed throughout Panem but it was also the beginning of our independence.

"No Katniss," I said. "It's not your fault. I blame Snow. He took so much from us. You didn't order the bombs to be dropped in District 12."

"And it not's yours either," she added. "What do you think you're father would say to you right now? What would he say to you about the bakery?" My mind spun at the question when a thought struck me.

"There is something I need to do," I said. "Will you help me, Katniss?"

"Of course, Peeta. Whatever you want," she acquiesced.

"Okay, I need a favor but first you must promise one thing," I demanded. "You must do what I tell you, no matter what happens you must swear to me that you will do as I ask."

She hesitated for a moment. "I will, Peeta," she acceded.

"Promise me," I demanded as I looked into her eyes. Her gray eyes penetrated mine. "Swear it on Prim's soul. I won't let you come with me unless you swear it."

She gulped. "I swear Peeta," she said. "I promise."

Twenty minutes later, we are out of the house walking towards town. It is close to sunrise and the air is cool and crisp, but I felt a sheen of sweat bead my forehead. Katniss is besides me with her bow as I am equipped with wooden staff. The thought of carrying a knife with Katniss accompanying me scared me. If I am to have an episode I want to make sure that she is equipped to protect herself from me. The new buildings and shops appeared before us. Without the townspeople milling about it made the town looked desolate and deserted. My heart felt heavy as I tried to calm my breathing. Each step I took elevated my anxiety and fear. My pace decelerated as I approached our destination. I scouted the area and realized that I am standing what used to be the location of my family's bakery. The area has been cleared and what is left is nothing but dirt and debris. In my mind's eye, I can see the bakery as if it was still there.

Katniss stood back as I walked to the center of what would have been the kitchen. All of a sudden I am bombarded with memories of my family. My father is removing a large batch of pastries from the oven as my brothers load grain and flour into the storage room. I sobbed in sorrow and pain as the visions assaulted me. I turned when I felt the sun breach the horizon hitting my face. The glare from the sun blinded me that I have to close my eyes. I can hear Katniss' feint voice from behind me. Seconds later, I opened my eyes and I'm suddenly standing in the middle of the bakery. The store appeared as though it has not been touch by the bombs. I don't know if I'm having a delusion or I have finally lost my mind from grief and guilt.

"Hello, son," my father's voice surprised me. I turned to my left to find him standing before me. He's wearing a white collared shirt and dark brown pants. His usual attire whenever he worked at the bakery minus an apron. He had a huge smile on his face. My mind was filled with joy at the sight of him. I looked into his blue eyes, which reflected back to mine.

"Dad," I sobbed.

"Hello, Peeta," he returned. I am stunned that I hugged my arms around me to prevent myself from collapsing on the ground. "It's good to see you."

"Where am I?" I asked as tears run down my cheeks unchecked. "How… you be…here? You're dead. You died when…I miss you so much."

"We all miss you Peet," he answered. "You're mother, your brothers and I, we miss you too."

"I wish I died with you." I sobbed. "I should have died with you."

"No, Peeta," he said.

"You survived the Reapings just so you can be murdered by Snow," I yelled, "You deserve to live your life…not murdered in a senseless manner."

"We all have to make sacrifices for the people we love," he said. "I know that I had failed you as a father."

"You didn't," I insisted. "You loved me. I couldn't ask for a better father than you, Dad."

"You're a good boy, Peeta," he said. "A better son than I deserved." He paused. "There is so much I want to say but there so little time."

"I can't remember you guys…what is real," I said. "Who I am and the life I had before the games. Everything hurts, my head, my heart. I feel so alone."

"You're not alone, Peeta," he replied. "You're never alone. We are here." He pointed to his chest and head. "We are with you always. I love you, son. Just remember that." He turned to leave.

"Please don't leave me, Dad," I wailed. "I don't know how to go on without you."

"You've always been strong and independent, Peeta" he said. "Among all my sons, I knew that you were the best of them. And despite the way you grew up, you were always the kindest boy I have ever known. I'm so proud of you."

"I'm not the same…I'm damaged and broken," I cried. "I am a shadow of who I used to be."

"You are no longer the boy you used to be," he said. You have grown up to be a man that any father would be proud to have. In truth, I am only half the man you've become. You're heart is your greatest strength. Don't let anyone or anything take that from you." He started to fade into the light. "You still have a lot to do and a lot to live for. Don't waste anymore time."

"Please don't go, Dad," I yelled as his image disappeared. "I'll never forget you. Good-bye, Dad. I love you."

"Be in peace, Peeta. Let go and love will find you," he said. "When the time comes, we all will be waiting for you." I dropped to my knees and closed my eyes. The feeling of loss and grief radiated from my chest. It felt like I was being abandoned all over again. From the recesses of my mind, I heard the words, _'I love you, I love you.'_ The next thing I knew I am lying down on the ground with my head on Katniss' lap. There is evidence of tears on her rosy cheeks and a frightened look on her face.

"Peeta, thank God, you're all right," she wailed as she grabbed my head and clutched it to her chest. "You scared me."

"What happened?" I asked as she released me. "Why am I on the ground?"

"You were standing there for a moment when you just suddenly collapsed," she explained. I braced myself with hands and stood up. "We need to get you to a hospital. You might have a concussion." She stood up and searched my head for any signs of injury.

"I'm fine, Katniss," I assured her. "How long was I out?" I looked up to see the sun rising from the horizon.

"A few minutes," she said as she wrapped her strong arms around my waist. "I'm so glad you're okay. You really scared me when you fainted. Don't scare me like that again." She trembled for a second. "We should go have your head checked just in case. You hit the ground pretty hard."

"I'm okay, Katniss,' I reassured her. The thought of returning to the hospital didn't appeal to me.

"You want to tell me what happened?" she said she pulled away from me.

"I'm not sure I should," I said. Uneasiness crept on my belly.

"You know you can tell me anything, Peeta," she pressed.

"I know, I just…" I said as I looked around us. "I don't want you think to think that I'm crazy or lost my mind."

"What is it, Peeta?" she asked. She reached down and grabbed my shaking hands.

"I saw my dad," I sighed. "For a moment I think I saw my father here inside the bakery. Crazy, right?"

She looked at me for second. "What did he say to you?" she asked.

"Um…he said that he missed me…and that he was proud of me," I choked. "I miss him so much."

"It's all right to miss him," she added. "I miss my Dad too. All the time."

"So you think I'm not crazy," I said with trepidation. Katniss shook her head.

"I think we should get you head check anyway," she instructed. "I don't want to take any chances." She waited for a response. "Please, do this for me." I weakened at her plea. No matter what memories I had of us together whether they were false or true, I didn't have the power to resist her.

"Okay," I agreed. Instead of taking my hand, she wrapped her arm around my waist and led us towards the Med Center. A few yards away I took one last look at the area of the bakery. I knew what I must do. There is one thing that will help me take back what I lost; I must reclaim ownership of the bakery and continue my legacy in honor of my family.

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><p><strong>Katniss POV –<strong>

My conversation with Greasy Sae stuck in my mind for days. Peeta and I walked through town with my arm around him with a purpose of showing my devotion and affection for him. However, when we set foot in the emergency room that irritating woman was back to flirting and ogling at Peeta. I tried not to let my anger and jealousy get the best of me. I cannot believe that this woman had the audacity to flirt with him while I'm sitting beside him. I gazed back at Peeta who was in complete ignorance of her obvious flirtation. I continued my death glare at the woman when Delly appeared before us in a frantic state.

"Katniss, Peeta, what's going on?" she asked in panicked tone as she approached us.

"We went to visit the old bakery site. He was just standing there when he fainted. I want you to take a look at him," I said.

"Do you know what caused you to faint?" Delly asked him. Peeta shook his head as Delly looked into his eyes.

"I couldn't wake him for a couple of minutes," I said. "He hit his head on the floor."

"I just fell, Delly," Peeta added. "It wasn't anything serious. Katniss is making a big deal out of nothing."

"Nonsense," Delly reprimanded. "A head injury is serious, Peeta. I'm glad Katniss made you come over. Come on, let's go to one of the rooms and have one of the doctors check you out."

Half an hour later after a head scan and an examination, the head physician cleared Peeta to return home. Delly joined us as he changed back to his clothes. "There is no sign of head trauma, but there is a large bruise on the back of the head from the fall." Delly explained to me and turned to Peeta. "You really need to stop getting hurt, Peeta,"

"Hey, it's not like I'm doing it on purpose, Delly," he hissed as he appeared from behind a dressing room screen.

"Katniss, please make sure that he takes it easy," she instructed. "I don't want to have another heart attack when I heard that he was in the emergency room."

"I'll make sure, Delly," I said.

"I can take care of myself, you know." Peeta huffed. "And I'm here still here in front of you two treating me like I'm four years old."

"And you were the cutest four year old I ever met," Delly teased as she pinched his cheeks. I envisioned four-year old Peeta with his curly blond hair and rosy cheeks having a temper tantrum. He must have been adorable.

"I'm outta here. Women," he exhaled as he headed out the door.

"You love the attention. Just admit it," she cackled then turned to me. "It's good that you were out there within him. I know how difficult it must have been for him. He never talks about his family."

"He really scared me, Delly," I admitted. When he fainted my heart stopped. I was so scared that I confessed that I loved him and begged him not to leave me. My chest ached at the memory of him lying on the ground, unconscious. "It was so sudden I thought he was shot or his heart stopped." In my nightmares I relived the moment when Peeta hit the force field during the Quarter Quell. Finnick couldn't revive him and he died in my arms. It was a memory I could never forget.

"He's all right, Katniss," Delly said in a soothing manner. "The stress of being at his family bakery must have overwhelmed him."

"Sometimes, I wish that I could keep somewhere safe where no one and nothing could ever hurt him again," I sighed.

"As long as he's with you, he's going to be okay,' she said. "Now, go. Make sure he doesn't get into anymore trouble." I gave her a quick hug and ran after my Boy with the Bread.

As I returned to the emergency room, I am stunned to find 'ogling woman' talking to Peeta. Not only was she talking to him she had a hand on his forearm. "…so Peeta, if you ever need anything or any assistance I'll be glad to help out," she purred as she wrote out her number on his arm. "This way you can't lose my number." My eyes narrowed as I recognized her. She was the same woman that spied on us during the whipping; the same trollop that tried to get his attention during the council meeting. I looked at Peeta who had a dazed look on his face. My anger and jealous surfaced that I snatched him by the arm away from the succubus who was making a move on him.

"Come on Peeta, it's time to go home," I seethed as I led him out of the Med Center.

"Katniss, slow down," he yelped. "What's are you doing?" My hand gripped his wrist so he couldn't escape me.

"We're going home, Peeta and I don't want to hear another word from you," I said with authority and possessiveness. Everyone looked at us with amusement and surprise. I made certain that as I dragged him through town that I am an equal partner of our relationship. If anyone was abusing anyone, it was me not kind hearted Peeta. As we neared the Victor's Village, Peeta tugged me to stop releasing my grip from him.

"Stop, just slow down damnit," Peeta hollered. "Why are you mad?"

"You're kidding, right?" I spewed. I couldn't think straight; my jealousy and insecurity clouded my brain of any rationale. That woman touched Peeta. She touched his arm.

"I don't know what's your problem," he hissed. "I didn't do anything wrong. Why are you mad at me?"

"That's your problem, you didn't do anything," I yelled at him. His eyes grew wide.

"She was touching you." I yanked his arm and looked at the number. "You let her write her number on your arm."

"She grabbed me," he yelled back and pulled away from me. "I was too shocked to react. I didn't know she was going to do that." I blinked at few times to clear my mind. "I thought I was having a flashback. I don't like people grabbing me like that. I just froze." His wristband was turning yellow and I was so consumed with jealousy that it never crossed my mind that he was having panic attack. My anger diminished when I noticed sweat on his forehead and his hands were trembling. He was chanting to himself _'Breath, don't get mad. Breath, breath.'_

"You have no right to be angry with me. I didn't do anything wrong," he said as took deep breaths to calm himself.

He was right. It wasn't as if he was flirting back. He looked embarrassed and surprised as she wrote her number on his arm. "I'm sorry, Peeta," I apologized as I took a step forward. He stepped back. "I don't like other wom…people touching you."

"I didn't ask for it," he sighed. "I want to go home." He walked passed me and my stomach plummeted.

"I'm sorry, Peeta," I repented as I walked beside him. He was quiet and unresponsive. I felt scared and angry with myself. I didn't like the feeling of 'that woman' flirting with him. She was everything I wasn't. An epitome of a perfect woman. She was beautiful, unscarred from the war and desirable. She was the type that could get any man she wanted and she wanted my Peeta. I tallied her assets against mine and I came up unmatched in every way. My throat tightened as tears threaten to spill from my eyes.

"Just forget it," he said and turned to look at me. He extended his hand to me, waiting for me to take it. "She doesn't matter, okay? Let's just go home." I grabbed his hand and smiled at him. I'm unaccustomed to sharing Peeta with anyone. Before the rebellion, he had made it clear to me and to everyone that I owned his heart. I was too scared to claim his as mine. Now he's too weary to reclaim what is rightfully his. I have a lot of work cut out for me and no woman or man is going to take him from me. I'm so absorbed with my thoughts that I didn't catch what Peeta was saying to me.

"I'm not sure what flavor I should use for the cake," he babbled. "I don't think I have enough chocolate for what I have in mind. Do you think that I can order some to be delivered overnight?"

"Chocolate, you're thinking of making chocolate cake for the competition?" I said. My mouth watered at the idea. Chocolate was a delicacy only known to the Capitol. Now you had access to the ingredient albeit you had the money to buy it.

"Yeah, I mean. You like chocolate, right?" he wondered. My heart melted and my knees wobbled, but he rattled on ignorant of my reaction. "I was thinking of a two layer cake with a chocolate ganache and vanilla bean cream." It sounded delicious and decadent.

"That sounds wonderful," I gushed. "There is no is no way you can lose if you make that."

"Really? You think I have a chance?" he asked. He had a smile on his face that reminded me of the boy before the games. His eyes twinkled and a big toothy grin.

"Peeta, I have no doubt that you got this." I encouraged.

"I don't know. It's been so long since I made anything that elaborate," he sighed as his smile faded. "The last time I baked a cake that fancy was at Finnick and Annie's wedding." I remembered that cake. It was the first sign that the Peeta I knew was returning. By then, I was in the middle of a war and the thought of him scared me. I was certain that he was gone forever. I should have known that Peeta was slowly returning to his old self. I just didn't want to believe it. It was too much to hope for. "I don't even remember how I did it. What if I mess up?"

"You won't Peeta?" I reassured him. "This is what you were born to do. Snow and the Capitol could never take that away from you." I needed him to do this. Baking and owning the bakery is the first step on focusing in his future. Just as visiting the woods was a step for me. Peeta continued to discuss his plans for the cake. There is a look in his eyes I haven't seen in long time. I felt hope and optimism for the first time since returning to 12.

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><p><em><strong>Thank you for reading this chapter. Have a great week.<strong>_


	14. Chapter 14 - Halfway There

Chapter 14 – Halfway There

_**AN: Thank you readers for continuing to read my fic. I will endeavor to keep you guys entertained and hopefully not too bored. Any mistakes found are mine. All rights belong to Suzanne Collins.**_

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><p><strong>Delly POV –<strong>

I closed the door behind me making sure that the door was secured as I left Peeta inside. He usually has his session over the phone but Dr. Aurelius wanted to see any physical progress he had made for the past couple of months. He is still underweight for someone his height and would need to bulk up when he starts working at his bakery. When Dr. Aurelius suggested using the monitor Peeta flipped. He refused to reconnect the one in his house so Aurelius demanded that he used mine. If Peeta didn't agree, he would have him come to the Capitol. His sessions were part of the deal of him returning to 12. To my surprise Peeta had called Dr. Aurelius even though this was not one of his scheduled sessions. Johanna or I always made it a point to stick around whenever he had a session with Dr. Aurelius. But lately, he seemed to recover well after talking to him. Johanna left this morning to scout the facility that is being used for the baking venue. She made sure the place was safe while Haymitch made arrangements to complete the list of supplies and equipment that Peeta requested for the competition.

I was on my way to Peeta's house when I encountered Katniss on her way to his home. I have yet to ask why doesn't she just move in with him since she's been 'sleeping' with him almost every night. The arrangement didn't surprise me since it's what they did during the Victory Tour. The fact that they continued with their ritual without discussing the nature of their relation had me flabbergasted. I don't blame Peeta for his hesitation. For years I've watched him pine over her. And to discover that the girl of his dreams lied and pretended to have feeling for him during the first arena, that's hurt. I would know. Yet Peeta's affections remained strong despite his hijacked mind.

"He's not home," I said. "Peeta is having a session at my house. I left to give him some privacy."

"Oh," Katniss responded. "Do you know how long that's going to be?" I noticed that Katniss made an effort of dressing for Peeta. When she visited the woods she wore her typical pants, boots and long sleeve shirt. Today, she wore a dark blue dress and knee-high boots. Her hair was braided and she wore no makeup. Not that it mattered to Peeta.

"Depends," I answered. "It's usually 45 minutes, give or take. Just depends on what they're talking about and how he's responding." She's about to leave when I made a suggestion. "Why don't you keep me company? Then, we'll go see him together when it's over." She nodded her head as I opened Peeta's door and walked in. "Make yourself at home while I brew us some tea." Ten minutes later, I'm seated having my tea when I noticed Katniss' odd behavior. She fidgeted at her seat and kept looking at the door as if she expected to see him walk in. I realized that she was worried about him alone at my home.

"He's fine, Katniss," I assured her.

"He's alone in the house with no one to watch him," she said. "I didn't realize that he had a session this morning."

"He didn't," I added. "He actually called Dr. Aurelius on his own. I think that the bakery incident and competition is stressing him."

"Does he still have his sessions weekly?" she asked as she sipped her tea.

"Actually, he's only having them twice a month now," I admitted. "You know, instead of once a week."

"So he's getting better?" she inquired.

"Yeah, now that he's no longer having 3-4 episodes a week," I confessed. Katniss gasped in surprised. "Oh, you didn't know. He had that many, but now not so much."

"I didn't realize that…" she whispered.

"Peeta is really good at hiding them, well not exactly hiding them, but controlling them," I said.

"Are they bad?" she asked. "No one will tell me. And I don't want to ask Peeta."

"They were pretty bad at first," I said. "He would pull at his hair or hit something, like a wall. Throw stuff." I paused at shuddered at the memories of his destructive behavior. "Now he just gets really quiet and kind of falls into a trance. If it's really bad, his wristband usually knocks him out before he really hurts him self."

"I wish there is something I can do for him," she said as tears brim her eyes.

"You can," I encouraged. "You're already doing it by being with him." I took her hand in mine. "I really want to thank you for helping him yesterday. Going to the bakery, the site where his family was killed. It must have been really difficult for him. You being there, I don't think you know how much it means to him."

"I just want to do more for him," she said as she shifted in her seat looking past the window towards my home. "Are you sure he's okay by himself?"

I nodded my head. "He'll be fine," I said. "Besides, I think he needs to have some time alone. Us, hovering all the time makes him agitated." She doesn't look convinced. "Listen, in 35 minutes, we can go other there as soon as his session is over, okay?" She nodded her head as she fidgeted with her hands. Katniss opened her mouth then shut it closed. She took a deep breath to compose her self.

"Delly, there's something I wanted to ask you," she questioned, "and I don't want to seem like I'm invading Peeta's privacy. But, I just need to know if I should be concerned about something."

"You can ask me anything," I encouraged.

"Yesterday, there was a woman in the Med Center," she said, "She works there. Tall, dark hair with green eyes. I've seen her a couple of times in town."

"Oh, I see you met Peeta's admirer, Eva Perry," I interjected.

"So you know about her?" she said. I nodded my head. "How long has she been there?"

"A few months," I said.

"Has Peeta ever mentioned her to you?" she asked. Then, it hit me. She was jealous of some woman paying attention to Peeta. Everyone knew of Eva's flirtation with Peeta. She made it known that she was enamored with him.

"Katniss, you have nothing to worry about. Peeta is not interested in her," I reassured her. "I don't even think he notices."

"Oh, I doubt that," Katniss snickered. My brows lifted. "She made her self quite known yesterday."

"Oh, what happened?" I asked. Eva arrived at 12 a couple of weeks after my arrival. Her flirtations and not so subtle attempts to get his attention were harmless. Actually, it's quite amusing and entertaining since Peeta didn't acknowledge any of it. But the more Peeta ignored her, the harder she tried.

"After he left from his examination, she approached him and wrote her number on his arm," she hissed in revulsion.

I laughed. Katniss wasn't amused. "How did Peeta take it?" I guffawed. "I bet he was mortified." I can imagine Peeta's horrified expression since Eva was ten years his senior. Not that there is anything wrong with the age difference. She really is quite a beauty with long flowing dark brown hair, pale skin, full lips and green eyes. Her tall stature and perfect figure made her the catch of District 12. She caught every man's eye whether they are single or married. Everyone's attention except Peeta's. I know that Peeta has only eyes for Katniss even if he is in denial.

"He was startled," she said. "He thought he was going to have an episode because she grabbed him unexpectedly. And to make matters worse, I got really upset with him."

My amusement faded. "You didn't have a fight over Eva, did you?" I asked.

"Kinda of," she said in a sheepish manner. "I was so mad that I took it out on him. I didn't meant to yell at him, but she was touching him and all I saw was red."

"Oh," I said. I didn't really have anything to say. It didn't seem like Eva mattered since I knew and have known how Peeta felt about Katniss. No amount of hijacking or tracker venom could erase his feelings for her. I've known that for a fact.

"He was upset with me," she sighed. "For being mad at him when I was really mad at her. It was a mess." I smiled at her. She scowled back at me. "It's not funny. He yelled at me and told me that I shouldn't be mad at him when he did nothing wrong. And he's right, he didn't do anything wrong. I just wanted to wring that woman's neck for touching him and leaving her number on his arm." Her eyes narrowed. "And she did it right in from of me."

"Oh, I see," I added. "When I changed his bandages this morning, I asked him who's number that was and he got really upset. I didn't want to made a big deal out of it if it just upsets him by bringing it up."

"I made a fool out of myself," she whined. "I shouldn't have yelled at him, but Peeta being Peeta just shook it off."

"He can never be mad at you, you know." I said. "He still loves you no matter what."

"I doubt it," she said as her eyes watered for a moment.

"Oh, Katniss, you really have no idea how much Peeta loves you," I sighed. These two are just hopeless.

"He may have before the Quarter Quell," she exhaled, "but since Snow captured and hijacked his mind, I don't think he does anymore."

"You don't see it, do you?" I said. "The way he still looks at you when you're not looking at him. The way he wants to reach out and touch you like as if his life depends on it."

"The old Peeta did," she said. "I know it's not his fault that he doesn't feel the same way about me. I can see it when we're together. He's civil and polite. I may be sharing his bed but it isn't the same. He loved me then, but not now. Now its about support or comfort."

"Do you honestly believe that Peeta would be letting you in his bed if he didn't have some feelings towards you?" I asked. "Katniss, Johanna and I have never shared his bed for support or comfort."

"Maybe he just feels sorry for me, but I doubt it has anything to do with love," she said. "I lost him now that I know that I…"

"That you love him, really love him the way he loved you from afar," I added. She nodded her head and sobbed. For years I have felt envy and resentment over Peeta's feeling for Katniss. She was my rival for my affections for him; it was time I confessed the truth I had kept to myself. "I'm going to tell you something. Something that has to be kept between the two of us. You can't tell Peeta. Or Bron."

I waited for her to agree as she wiped her eyes. "I love Peeta, I have since we were 10 years old." Her eyes grew wide. "I know for a fact that he loves you and will always love you regardless of how he's acting." I thought of the day my heart broke for the final time when the realization came to me that he would always be in love with Katniss Everdeen.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Flashback, month's prior before Peeta returned home – <strong>_

_I was livid. For weeks Johanna and Peeta would sneak up to the roof at night. I was okay with the arrangement since I knew that it was helping their recovery. After being imprisoned for months in a white cell it would cause anyone to hyperventilate and be claustrophobic. The freedom they felt to escape was necessary for their state of mind even if it meant staying outdoors on a roof. At least I knew where they were and they were safe. But this last escapade had me fuming with anger and fear. They have been missing for the last two days. When they didn't appear for the first meal I knew something was wrong. For hours I fretted and made myself sick with worry. What if he's out there having an episode? What if they both are triggered at the same time? I had visions of them hurting themselves. My mind spun with horrifying scenarios that affected my performance at work. Nurse Seaver reprimanded me a couple of times for my lack of attention and state of distraction. Hours later, Dr. Aurelius reported that they were found and were being escorted back to the hospital. I sighed in relief for their discovery and their return. Then my relief turned to anger when I was informed that they were found at a well-known brothel in the center of the Capitol called, "The Celestial." It was resident established by a Victor in defiance from Snow after the 40__th__ Hunger Games. The Celestial was a place for Victors who sought haven with other Victors. It was built when one overzealous Capitolite strangled a Victor at his home. He was only 14 years old. The Victors revolted and refused to enter another Capitolite's home fearing for their lives. So all the Victor's pool their resources together and had The Celestial built. So whenever they were called to 'entertain' Snow's customers the transaction was done in a facility where the Victor's safety was guaranteed._

_I was shocked and horrified that Peeta was there with Johanna. I wasn't disturbed by the fact that she knew the place existed but that she took him there. After the war, Bron had told me horrifying stories of what all the Victors lived through under Snow's reign. How he sold them to the highest bidder against their will. If you defied Snow your family paid with their lives for your resistance. Death was the penalty. Peeta and Katniss were saved from that fate due to their Star Crossed Lovers status. I didn't realize that there was a cost to surviving the games. Being a Victor made you a property of Snow and the Capitolites. I shuddered at the thought of what kind of life they would have had if they didn't have each other. _

_Now The Celestial is known for entertaining Capitolites who would pay to live out their fantasies. It was high end, expensive and exclusive._

_Upon their arrival, two burly hospital security guards flanked them. Johanna had a smirk on her face while Peeta remained silent as Dr. Aurelius berated them for endangering their lives and those around them. Peeta was escorted to his room as he conversed with Johanna. They were separated and led to their room to be sequestered and denied privileges. A day later, I walked into Johanna's room first to confront her._

"_What were you thinking by running off like that?" I yelled at her. "Peeta could have gotten hurt or worse he could have hurt someone. He's not ready to face the public and of all the places to take him, you took him to The Celestial. Are you out of your damn mind?"_

"_He's fine, Delly," she said. "And I was with him at all times."_

"_That's not the point," I roared. "What were you thinking sneaking off and taking him to that place?"_

"_I wanted to do something special for his birthday," she said in a calm manner. "Give the kid a break." I gasped in horror and frustration. I had forgotten that his birthday was coming up. "He's a healthy young man that needs to be introduced to the…"_

"_I don't want to hear it," I screamed. My mind spun at the idea of Peeta in that place with those types of women doing who knows what to him. "All he ever wanted was Katniss. How could you…"_

"_Well, she's not here, is she?" Johanna spewed. "And from what I can tell it's not like she ever wanted him. So what's the big deal?" My knees trembled. "Listen, Delly, I know you don't understand, but I think it was good for him. I mean, he was fine when we left and we were on the way when the guards found us." She had a serious look on her face like she knew but wasn't about to tell me what happened in there. "If it makes you feel better, I told Dr. Aurelius everything that happened and he was actually supportive and encouraged it."_

"_You got to be kidding me," I gasped._

"_Please believe me that I did this in his best interest," she said. "If you don't believe me ask Peeta." I stood up and went straight to his room to find 2 security guards hovering by his door. I wasn't allowed any visitation for a week. By then, I calmed down enough to speak to him without wanting to shake him. I entered his room to find his back towards me. He was hunched over his table. I pressed forward to discover him deep in concentration of a drawing. I thought he was drawing again. My surprised gasp startled him._

"_Hey, Delly," he said as he looked up. On the table were several sketches he drew when he first started his sessions. They were drawing of Mutt Katniss killing his family._

"_Peeta, why are you looking at those?" I screamed at him. _

_He looked down in shame "Uh…I asked Dr. Aurelius if could see them." he said._

"_Why would you?" I asked him. "These can't be good for your recovery."_

"_I needed to see if…I could face them," he confessed, "I needed to know that I could confront my past. I needed undeniable proof that I'm this is who I am."_

"_Peeta no amount of pictures can determine who you are," I argued. "It's just a part of who you are. It's not all of you."_

"_But it's still a part of me now," he said. "A part that will never recover from my torture."_

"_No, you will get better. You just need time," I encouraged._

_After his abuse from the Capitol, he persisted that he would never draw again and that he could never be the same to pick up a pencil or paintbrush. When he did draw for the first time, they were horrifying images of Mutt Katniss. When Aurelius confronted him about the images months later, he was adamant in his decision of never drawing again. Whatever happened during his visit at The Celestial prompted him to confront his drawings. I don't know if I should be grateful or angry. My curiosity got the best of me._

"_You want to tell me what happened at The Celestial?" I asked. He blushed so red I thought he was going to faint._

"_Not really," he said. "Let's just say that I had a revelation on my visit there." I narrowed my eyes. I didn't have the right to invade his privacy. I took a moment to really look at him. Gone was the haunted and angry look he had in his eyes. He was always skittish and nervous whenever he spoke or addressed anyone. Like he was afraid of his own shadow. Now, he seemed calm and at ease with himself. Whatever happened at The Celestial caused a radical change in him. A month later he painted the mural in his room. I couldn't deny that he was recovering well from that infamous visit. _

_In the months during his recovery he never talked about Katniss. If her name was even mentioned he feel into a deep depression. He was no longer anger or hysterical. She was a topic he couldn't face or wanted to confront. I thought that he was really over her. His hijacking finally helped him to get over her. Or so I thought. I was felt relieved and guilty. Guilty because he can move on in his life without Katniss. I thought that this was the chance to help him move on. With me._

_A few days later, while he was in his session with Aurelius, I was cleaning his room when I discovered a drawing pad hidden between the mattresses. I debated as to whether I should tell Dr. Aurelius but thought of Peeta's need for privacy. Do I report this progress to him or give Peet the one thing that was not evaluated or observed? Something that was private for him to have. If he was drawing again I would be elated at his first step to getting better. But I was troubled as to why he hid this from us. No longer able to contain my curiosity I lifted the cover and gasped in surprise. There in the first page was Katniss in the dress she wore at the first reaping. I flipped the next couple of pages and discovered that each drawing was of her. He was drawing a pictorial history of their time together from reaping, to the cave and the beach of in the Quarter Quell. It was as if he was remembering their time together. I knew with certainty and proof that he would never get over her. That even with a hijacked mind and tracker venom in his blood, Katniss was his one true love. He would never get over her. I knew that it was time for me to move on._

* * *

><p><strong>Present Time – <strong>

I revealed to her my discovery of the drawings but not about his visit at The Celestial. That is a conversation between the two of them to discuss. Months after the incident Peeta confessed to me what he experienced there. It did help him heal but it also added more doubt about him self. His self worth and confidence was damaged.

"So you see, Katniss," I said. "You're it for him. There will never be anyone else but you for him. He may have convinced himself that you never loved him, but he will always love you." She smiled like I never seen before. "What do you want from him?"

"Delly, are you asking me of my intentions?" she asked in surprise.

"I know you care about him," I stated. "You both went through something that no one has ever experienced. No one will ever understand the horror and terror of surviving two games."

"What about Johanna?" she asked. "They seem pretty close." They are close, but not the way she thinks.

"He was tortured and abused like Johanna," I reminded her. "They both have a strong bond to each other because of the experiences they went through together. Love, respect and a friendship grew between them. Nothing more. You shouldn't doubt his love for you. Peeta's love for you is strong, true and so ingrained in him. It's a part of him. You're his everything."

"He's my everything too. I love him," she confessed. "I love him with every fiber of my being. I never knew I could love anyone the way I love him."

"I'm glad," I admitted. "Because if you didn't I would do everything in my power to help him move on. I'll do anything to make him happy even to love him knowing that you will always be first in his heart."

"What about Bron?" she asked. "Aren't you in love with him?"

"Don't get me wrong, I love Bron," I said. "You need to realize that he's my Katniss. He was…my everything." I'm just lucky that I do have Bron in my life. "I'm happy to let Peeta go, knowing that he is loved by someone who loves him in equal measure. And that's you." I felt tears brimming my eyes. I knew that I had to let Peeta go but hearing Katniss tell me she loves him, it dawned on me that I finally lost him to her. For good.

"I love him so much," she said. "For so long, I was afraid to. Now I'm afraid that he doesn't feel the same way." Silly, Katniss. She still had no idea how deep Peeta's love is for her.

"He does, Katniss," I said. "You just need to prove it to him. Make him realize that you are serious. He so convinced that you don't that he's built a wall so high, it seems impenetrable."

"I know," she sighed. "There's this weariness about him, like doesn't trust me. That what I feel for him isn't real. I know that I have to be patient. I mean, he waited 11 years for me. Who loves like that?"

"Peeta, only Peeta," I stated. Suddenly, she launched herself at me. I never knew Katniss to be spontaneous or giddy but she reached over and hugged me.

"Thank you, Delly," she laughed. "Thank you for being there for him when I couldn't. Thank you for taking care of him and being his friend. I promise you that I will do whatever it takes to keep him safe and make him happy."

"Just remember that at times when he's pulling away from you, it's not because he doesn't love you," I advised. "He's pulling away from you because his faith in love is shattered. He doesn't believe that he's good enough for you now. Snow broke him, made him believe that you never loved him and it's going to time for you to convince him that his love is returned." She knew the truth in my words. It would take time for Peeta to be responsive or acceptive of her feelings for him.

"And just one more thing, I need to ask a favor of you," I teased as I waited for her to get her complete and undivided attention. "You let me stand by you on the day of your wedding." We're both laughing and so absorbed with joy and relief that we're startled when Peeta appeared before us.

"Um…you two look like you're busy. So I think I'm going to go out and meet Johanna in town," he uttered as he inched further to the door. His eyes were wide as he pointed his thumb to the door.

"Peeta," I yelped and rushed towards him with Katniss not far behind me. "How was your session?" He had a startled look on his face as he stepped back when we approached him.

"It was okay," he muttered as he eyed us both. "I'm gonna go now." He turned and walked out the door as if the house was on fire. Katniss and I looked at each other and burst out laughing for a second then chased after Peeta.

* * *

><p><strong>Peeta POV –<strong>

I sighed in relief as I left Delly's home. I was nervous at first since I've been wearing long sleeves for the last few sessions. I didn't want to lie to Dr. Aurelius but if he found out what happened in the woods, he would have been sent back to the Capitol. Who knew how long he would have kept me there. I couldn't stay away and leave everyone behind.

To say I was surprised to find Delly and Katniss laughing hysterically in my living room was an understatement. I never seen Katniss laugh like that before. She had always been beautiful to me in any state. Whether she was laughing, crying or angry. But joy and laughter was the one thing I've hardly experienced with her. She stunned me. Her hair was in a braid. She wore a dress that made her grey eyes sparkle. I walked out my house as fast as I could. The confusion I felt was new to me.

After my session with Dr. Aurelius, I left with a feeling of purpose and clarity. I never had any direction or control in my life but with the prospect of owning the bakery, it was something I knew I was destined to do. I didn't have to reinvent myself. I just had to find the me before the events that altered my life. I had to find Peeta Mellark, the third son of James Mellark, the baker of District 12.

My thoughts were interrupted as Delly and Katniss reached my side. Both flanking me like a protective wall. It was getting ridiculous that I could not leave my home or go anywhere without one of them beside me. The feeling was quite emasculating. I jumped when Katniss reached over and placed her hand on my waist pulling me to her side. It was a possessive gesture, a side of her I'm not accustomed to. I looked over to Delly who tried to hide her smile. I didn't trust the glint her eyes. As we approached the town I noticed that Katniss' embrace tighten around my waist. I turned to see the townspeople were either ignoring us or whispering amongst themselves.

We reached the venue where the baking competition was to be held. The new District 12 school gymnasium was being prepped for the event. It was the only facility that was large enough for the space needed to hold both the event and the crowd that was to be expected to attend. Bron greeted us as he stood with four other Guardsmen guarding the entry to the building. We walked in and I gasped in horror as I found a camera crew setting up for the event. I heard both Katniss' and Delly's cries of anger and surprise. I'm paralyzed by anticipation and fear. The last time I faced a camera was my propo at the Capitol where I was beaten to within an inch of my life.

"What the hell is going on?" Katniss roared in anger. Her voiced carried throughout the facility that it caught Haymitch's attention. He approached us with his hand up in surrender.

"I didn't know this was happening, I swear," he said.

"I thought cameras and the press weren't allowed entry into District 12?" Delly asked.

"It isn't but President Paylor made this an exception. We don't know how the news of the baking competition go out," Haymitch informed us. "Paylor thought it was a good idea to televise the event. She said that this will help Peeta in the long run."

"How?" I asked.

"She said it would help your reputation if Panem saw that you recovered from the war and was back to living a life like a normal citizen," he explained. I knew what reputation and gossip that ran rampant in Panem. I, Peeta Mellark the former lover of Katniss Everdeen had betrayed and deserted her in the Quarter Quell. My interviews with Caesar during the rebellion only solidified the rumor of my abandoning her for a cushy life in the Capitol. I was labeled a traitor.

"I'm not normal," I panted, as my breath grew uneven. "How can she allow this to happen?"

"Peeta, this will help you," Haymitch continued. "Normally, I would give Paylor hell for allowing this, but think about it. Panem will have a chance to see you as Peeta Mellark, the son of a baker, not a former tribute or Victor competing in a baking competition with Katniss by your side."

"Don't involve Katniss is this fiasco," I hissed.

"Peeta," Katniss interjected. "If Haymitch thinks this will help you, I'll stand by you no matter what."

"This is my fight," I said. I inhaled deep breaths to calm me. It wasn't working. I bent down and closed my eyes. "Just give me a minute."

"There shouldn't be any cameras or publicity for this. It's bad enough that this event is being held in front of a large crowd, but to have it televised for all of Panem to see, it's ridiculous." Katniss said to Haymitch as she pointed a finger into his chest. "You need to fix this."

"It's done," Haymitch said. "There isn't anything we can do to stop it. It's not like you've never been in front of a camera before, Peeta."

"I've had enough cameras shoved in my face, Haymitch," I rose up and spit in anger. "Every time I'm in front of camera I was being forced, lied to and manipulated for the enjoyment for the Capitol. How did applying for the bakery end up becoming a national event?"

"You'll see Peeta," Haymitch said. "This will be good for you. Just do what you need to do. Johanna, Bron and I secured the place. You're safe here, I promise nothing will happen."

"And what if I lapse into an episode?" I seethed. My getting an episode was the crux of my concern. "Will you be able to prevent that?" Everyone around stood still and quiet. "Even you can't guarantee that I won't have one right in front of the camera for all of Panem to see." Delly grabbed my wrist to check my band. The display was still green. "I need air."

I walked out the building heading straight back to the Victor's Village. I can hear faint voices of Katniss and Haymitch arguing. My mind is in turmoil as I blindly walked over to my parent's bakery site. Wasn't I just here yesterday having a delusion of speaking to my father? I don't know how long I stood there when Bron appeared right beside me. I stood in reverence to the gravesite where my family was laid to rest. In the place where they worked and loved. I can't account for the times I wished I died with them. Would the ache of loneliness and pain of their loss ever escape me?

"Delly told me your family made the best bread in all of Panem," he said as he broke our silent contemplation. "Those cheese buns you make for Katniss everyday is to die for." He looked at me with a smile on his face.

"It was family recipe that was handed down from four generations of Mellarks," I stated. "When I turned 14, I modified the ingredients without telling my parents. My mom was so angry when she found out. It was the first time she ever hit me with a rolling pin. She didn't apologize even when they sold very fast and people kept asking for them. That was the moment I knew that baking was in my blood and not just an occupation." Bron turned his head looking backwards. There stood Delly, Katniss and Johanna at a distance standing vigil as always.

"All my life, all I wanted was to fall in love with the girl of my dreams and work at my parent's bakery," I confessed. "When I was reaped and found out that Katniss didn't…care for me at all, I knew that dream was over."

"But you survived the war…your torture," Bron continued. "You have a chance to make all your dreams come true."

"I expected to at least get the bakery back," I said as ignored his comment. "Now it looks like I'll lose that too."

"Peeta, you can't give up," Bron said. "If you back down now, Snow will have finally won. You're alive, you lived through…no one will ever know what you lived through. But you're here with us and there's a girl over there reaching out to you. Who loves you. You won, Peeta. Life is about living and fighting for the things you love and deserve."

"I'm tired of fighting," I said.

"Then let us fight with you," he roused. "You're not alone anymore." I looked back to the three most important people in my life. Delly held Katniss' hand as Katniss bite her lower lip, a gesture of nervousness and worry. Johanna had her arms across her chest. Her eyes hard and determine.

All three of them were a representation of my life. Delly reminded me of my past. The life I once had and the family I lost. She anchored and kept me grounded, reminding me where I came from and who I was. Johanna is my present. She gave me strength and the will to fight. We held on to each other through the worst times in our lives. Every hour of every day we fought our memories and struggled to move forward. And Katniss, she was always my unreachable and unattainable dream. And if I let myself, she is my future. A future of friendship, hope and love.

Bron placed a hand on my shoulder and leaned over. "Besides, who else is going to design the cake for my wedding to Delly?" he whispered with a gleam in his eyes. I gasped in surprise.

"Really?" I responded. Bron nodded with a big smile on his face. "When did you...?"

"I haven't asked yet," he interrupted as he snuck a look back at Delly. "I know I don't need your blessing or approval but I wanted tell you anyway. And hopefully if the odds are in my favor, we're going to be brothers some day."

"I'm happy for you," I exalted. "For you and Delly."

"Hold up, it's not a done deal. She might say no," he said.

"Not going to happen, Bron," I reassured him. "Just be sure that you're certain because once your married, you're going to live in a life of pink and pastels colors in every aspect of your life."

"What makes you think I'm not already there?" he snorted. I burst into laughter. The heaviness in my heart lifted. The prospect of making their wedding cake was a future I looked forward to seeing. Maybe I can have my cake and eat it too. My outburst caught the girls in surprise as their worry and fear turned to relief. Not wanting to worry them further, we walked over to them. Delly stood by Bron's side asking what was so funny as Katniss extended her hand to me. I grabbed her hand and tugged to me. She gasped in surprise when I reached over and wrapped my arm around her waist. We walked back to the venue. Bron was right. I had to do this with or without the cameras. I couldn't let Snow win.

* * *

><p><strong>Katniss POV – <strong>

I don't know what Bron said to Peeta. But whatever he said I am grateful to him since it brought a drastic change in him. Peeta walked back to the venue with his arm around me, a move that I had always initiated. He approached Haymitch and calmly thanked him and Johanna's efforts for securing the venue and proceeded to check his inventory for the competition. We all stood aghast to his turnaround. Delly pestered Bron all night asking him what he said to change Peeta's mind and attitude. He looked at us and said that it was private conversation between Peeta and him. They shared a look with each other as if they held a secret between themselves. I didn't care since the outcome gave Peeta a positive outlook for the baking competition.

Last night, as I waited for him to join me in bed, he exited the bathroom, sat down on the bed and removed his prosthetic leg. He slipped under the covers and turned to me.

"Katniss," he whispered as we looked at each. I felt his breath skim my face.

"Yes," I answered as I held my breath.

"Would you read to me?" he asked. He looked so young and vulnerable. Much like he did before the games and the torture. My heart swelled for a moment. Our usual routine consisted of us turning in together, turning off the lights and gravitating towards the middle of the bed where he would hold me all night until I fell asleep

Surprised but please, I leaned up on the headboard and read to him until he fell fast asleep first. Before his eyes closed he reached over and placed a hand on my upper thigh. The contact sent my nerves tingling to my core. He was so tired that he didn't react when I took his hand into mine and slithered down next to him. I clutched his warm hand to my chest wanting to feel his skin on mine. We both slept throughout the night without a nightmare. I woke up this morning disappointed to find that he had already risen to make a batch of my favorite cheese buns.

Hours later, I stood beside Haymitch waiting for the competition to commence. The building was filled to its capacity that the guardsmen had to turn away several townspeople from the event.

"Where's Peeta?" I asked, my anxiety and fear for him weighing heavily.

"He's changing in one of the small rooms," he answered. "Bron is with him so he's not alone."

A few minutes later, everyone turned to Peeta as he entered the room. He wore a pair of black pants and collared shirt complete with black leather shoes. My heart skipped a beat. He walked straight at us with a blank look on his face. He wore his game face.

"I need a favor from the both of you," he asked, his eyes downcast as he rubbed his head with his right hand.

"Anything, Peeta," Haymitch said. "Whatever you need." I shook my head in agreement.

"Can you two sit somewhere where I can see you?" he requested, his eyes connected with mine. "This almost feels like we're back in the arena and I need to be able to get to you in case something bad happens." He fidgeted with his hands that I reached out to grab them. "I'm going to worry about you both."

"Nothing bad will happened, Peeta." I assured him. "All of us will make sure of it."

"We'll sit wherever you want us to," Haymitch promised. "Won't we, Katniss?"

"It's just, Johanna is at standby with Bron incase you know I…" he said. "And Delly will be assisting me. So at least I know where they will be at all times." One of the stipulations of the competition was that each baker was allowed an assistant and we all agreed that Delly was the perfect choice for two reasons. One, she had worked with Peeta and his family on a few occasion. And Two, she would be monitoring Peeta during the competition.

"Don't worry about us," I said. "We won't go anywhere."

"Yeah, what Katniss said," Haymitch reiterated. "Just kick some butt and win this damn thing already." He reached over and hugged him. Peeta in turn took my hand in his and led me towards a corner of the building away from prying eyes and the camera. He took both hands in mine and looked into my eyes.

"Katniss, I just wanted to say thank you," he blustered.

"No need to thank me, Peeta," I said with all the emotions I could convey. "We protect each other. Always."

"No, you don't understand," he uttered. "I wanted to thank you for saving my life in the arenas. I've never thanked you for all the times you saved me during the rebellion." I opened my mouth to interrupt him when he lifted his hand to stop me. "Please let me say this. Thank you for letting me back into your life. I know that it wasn't easy after I almost…"

"You're life was worth saving, Peeta," I said. "If I had a choice to do all over again, I wouldn't hesitate. Not for a second."

"Still, I feel that my apology was long overdue," he expresssed. "I…thank you, Katniss. Thank you for being here and supporting me, thank you for being my friend even though I know I don't deserve your friendship."

"You're wrong, Peeta," I confessed. "It's I who doesn't deserve it."

"I know that I haven't been easy to be around with, especially with everything that's happened," he said. "But I'll try to be better, I promise." I'm speechless. He pulled me into his arms in a tight hug. My heart swelled with joy and hope. I wanted to stay in his arms forever. I hugged him tighter feeling his solid chest against my breasts. His heart beat in cadence against mine.

However, he reluctantly released me and we walked back hand in hand to have him suddenly pulled me away from crowd, hug me close again while he kissed me on the forehead. I gasped in shock and elation. A flash and a click interrupted our moment. Peeta lowered his head. "Just for luck," he whispered in my ear as he walked over to the main room leaving me awestruck. He winked back at me and hugged Delly on his way back.

I was so stunned that I didn't notice her damn with her camera again. "Delly, what the hell," I hissed.

"You two are just the cutest," she giggled as she escaped from my tirade and followed Peeta.

I sighed in relief since it was just Delly and not some fan or stranger capturing a very private and intimate moment between Peeta and me. I walked back to the main area in a daze. I must have a stupid look on my face as I looked to see Haymitch trying not to laugh at me.

"Don't say a word if you value your life," I threatened as I feel the warmth of blush rising oh my face. His hands went up in surrender. I tried to keep the scowl on my face but couldn't keep it up. The touch of Peeta's lips lingered on my forehead. He looked delicious and edible while waiting for the competition to commence. Delly whispered in his ear as a pinkish tinge spread all over his cheeks and neck. He looked around the crowd and stopped when his eyes pierced through mine. A wave of tingles spread throughout my body starting from my stomach to the rest of limbs. My world opened up to a kaleidoscope of emotions. Hope, desire and love radiated through every pore of my heated skin. He blushed again and turned his head in embarrassment while he shoved his shaking hands in his pockets. It's so like Peeta to be shy, vulnerable and sexy at the same time. I'm a goner.

I regarded the rest of the people in my life. Haymitch looked happy and healthy since his attempt of sobriety. He no longer held that haunted look in his eyes. The look of a man that shouldered decade's worth of death in his charge. Granted I knew that he would slip every once in a while. You couldn't break years of indulgence and self-destruction overnight. Johanna with her long dark hair in a ponytail was returning to the same Victor I met during the Quarter Quell. She had her moments of vulnerability and seemed comfortable to show that side of her to us. Especially to Peeta and Delly. Delly is…Delly; the light in our dark world. Peeta, Haymitch, Johanna and I were tainted by darkness. Her effervescent personality reminded us that there is goodness in the world that was shadowed by evil.

My newest friend Bron stood at attention ready to protect his friends and family. There's a kinship between Peeta and him that was born out of friendship and trust. Having him in our lives proved that not all Capitolites are like Snow. There is good in people whether you were district born or from the Capitol. He didn't fill a void in my life that Gale left behind. But his presence is welcomed just the same. My friendship with Gale is forever altered, never to be the same. If only he opened his heart, he would begin to heal and not live his life in bitterness, envy and resentment.

As for Peeta, I…everyday I experienced a gamut of emotions when I think of him. Emotions I no longer fear but embrace. His physical presence only heightened what I felt for him. My feelings for him are simmering and bubbling, waiting to be experienced and explored. I long for the day when he completely without reservation gives his heart to me. He waited for 11 years for me; I can wait for a lifetime.

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><p><em><strong>Thanks again for reading. Have a great week.<strong>_


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